Waiting On You (Blue Heron #3)(118)

“But my cousin.” His voice was like acid.

“Well, it wasn’t just your cousin, I mean, it wasn’t because he was your cousin, but also, yeah, he wasn’t the only one that I, uh...” Great. Here came the Tourette’s of Terror again. “What I mean is, he wasn’t—”

“I don’t want to hear about all the men you’ve slept with, Colleen!” he barked. Someone in the apartment across the hall muted the TV. Couldn’t blame them.

She twisted her hands together. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I really am, Lucas. But don’t forget you were married at the time. Married! It’s not like I cheated on you.”

“This entire summer, you haven’t said a word. You knew this would matter to me. You had to know, but instead, you let me make an idiot of myself.”

She stopped and swallowed against the sharp knot in her throat. “How does being with me make you an idiot?”

“I think that’s been answered tonight. At the wake. In the funeral home. In front of the minister. And my former in-laws.”

She went to bite her nail again, then clenched her hands. “I’m truly sorry, Lucas. I’m not perfect.”

“No, that’s not on my list of adjectives for you right now.”

“Okay, stop being mean! It was wrong, I know that, believe me. But I was just trying to find someone after you got married.”

“You broke up with me, Colleen. Remember? It was get married or get lost, your way or the highway.”

“Don’t you quote Road House to me. I’ve seen every Patrick Swayze movie ever made.”

He gave her a look that glittered with fury. “That’s your problem, Colleen. You can’t take anything seriously. Not us, not Bryce, nothing.”

“I’m sorry! I’m nervous! I’m taking this very seriously!”

“You slept with my cousin. You’re the only one who knew what Bryce did to me.”

“You mean, how he saved your life?”

“Everything I had, he wanted, and God forbid Bryce had to go without anything. Even you.”

“I’m not an ice cream cone, Lucas. It’s not the same.”

“He took away my last chance to see my father, Colleen! And my God, he slept with you!”

“Okay, okay, let’s just...let’s just settle down. What about what you said the other night? About us? That matters, too, doesn’t it?” She bit her thumbnail, the small sharp pain the only thing feeling real right now.

Lucas almost smiled. Not in a good way. “You mean, how I said you were the only thing that was really mine?”

“I meant—”

“Because I guess I was wrong about that, wasn’t I?”

“Right. I’m a slut.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You didn’t have to.”

He didn’t answer, but his eyes weren’t exactly brimming with forgiveness, either, and Colleen felt the last of her hope leak out of her. Paulie was right. Hope sucked.

“Well, you have a great time being holy and perfect, Lucas. Good luck with that.”

His eyes were flat.

“That was sarcasm. You’re not perfect, you know. You never told me you loved me. Ever.”

“Good thing, too, isn’t it?”

Her heart, which had taken so damn long to heal over, split right in half again. Without another word, she turned and left before she started sobbing.

She knew he’d ruin her all over again. And she’d been right.

CHAPTER THIRTY

“DUDE, YOU’RE NOT mad, are you?” Bryce asked for what had to be the thirtieth time.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Lucas said through gritted teeth, willing his hands not to curl into fists. Didi smirked.

They were in the limo en route to the church for Joe’s funeral.

“Because you know...it was just sex.”

“Shut up.”

“And Colleen, you know how she is. She kinda gets around.”

“Do you want me to beat you up, Bryce?” he growled. “On the day of your father’s funeral? Because if you say another word, I will.” He paused. “And don’t say that about her.”

Bryce slumped back against the seat of the limo. “Sorry.”

“She is something of a tramp,” Didi said.

“Didi, shut up, or you can walk the rest of the way to church. I’m the one paying for this funeral, after all.”

At the mention of money, Didi’s eyes narrowed. “Really, Lucas. No need to be rude.”

He didn’t bother answering.

“Mom, you should stick around,” Bryce said. “You really going to Wisconsin tomorrow?”

“Bryce, sweetie, you know how I am. I’d rather do my grieving privately. And I had vacation time to use up.”

Lucas suspected she was already on the prowl for a new husband. Play the widow card ASAP. She wouldn’t be around for the reading of Joe’s will, either. Bryce was still unaware of how much he’d inherit, and that Lucas would be trustee.

Lucas wouldn’t need to stick around, either. The will was straightforward, with only a sealed letter from Joe addressed to Bryce.

There was no letter for him.