Undone by Her Tender Touch (Pregnancy & Passion #4)(40)

“That’s fine,” she said, retrieving it from his grasp. “You aren’t eating?”

“I ate before I came.”

He parked himself in the chair next to her, extending his long legs as she opened the container. The spaghetti and garlic bread looked good, but she had absolutely no desire to eat. Her stomach was too churned up.

She managed a few bites and pushed the food around so it would look like she was eating. The only problem was, she could feel Cam’s stare on her and knew he wasn’t fooled.

She was saved when Ashley’s father, William Copeland, burst into the waiting room, grinning from ear to ear. “It’s a girl! I have a granddaughter!”

The room erupted with excitement. Pippa put her plate down and rose with the others to converge on Mr. Copeland. The smiles were huge. Lots of hugging. It was everything Pippa wanted for her own delivery.

A few minutes later, Devon appeared holding a tiny bundle in his arms. He was smiling so big that his face had to hurt. But then Pippa watched as Cam converged on his friend, his own smile a match to Devon’s.

Her mouth drooped as Cam peered over the blanket at the baby, his eyes glowing as he and Devon exchanged comments. Worse, Devon readily handed the baby over to Cam and they stood together cooing and talking baby nonsense.

Pippa hadn’t thought it possible to hurt more than she had the day of her sonogram. She stood locked in stone as she watched the same man who’d walked away from her and her baby make a total moron of himself over that tiny little girl.

Cam handed the baby back, slapped Devon on the back and heartily congratulated him. The room was a buzz of excited chatter, congratulations and oohs and aahs. But Pippa was focused on Cam. Cam, who was smiling. Cam, who was happy. Cam, who clearly had it in him to love.

So why couldn’t he love her and their child?

Eighteen

Pippa was no longer able to stand there and pretend that everything was fine when she was dying on the inside.

In the excitement, she was able to slip away unnoticed. As she headed toward the elevator, she bumped into one of Ashley’s cousins and asked her if she’d make Pippa’s excuses to the new mother. She walked into the elevator, turning to stare at the jubilation at the opposite end of the corridor. Tears pricked her eyelids as she punched the button for the first floor.

Just as the doors started to slide closed, Cam looked up and their gazes connected. His brow furrowed and he started forward, but the gap closed and the elevator began its descent.

Realizing that Cam would likely come down after her, she headed out and crossed the street, deciding to walk a few blocks before hailing a cab.

The night air was chilly despite the earlier sunshine and warmth. And what a perfect day it had been for Ashley’s baby girl to be born. Spring. The beginning of new life. A fresh start. Life after a long winter.

So symbolic, and yet for her, spring meant death.

Okay, so she was being a little dramatic, but sadness had a firm grip on her throat and it wasn’t letting go.

She loved Cam. Despite his many flaws.

But she wanted him to smile at her and their child the way he’d looked down and smiled at Devon and Ashley’s daughter. She wanted to see him light up and look…happy. Had he ever seemed so carefree when he was with her?

It had been like looking at an entirely different person. Was this the way he was around people he cared about? Ashley had said he was always gentle and even tender with her.

So it wasn’t that he didn’t care about people or that he was incapable of love. It was just as he’d said. He didn’t want to love her. Or their son.

A sob escaped as she raised her hand to hail an oncoming cab. It never slowed and she dropped her hand, staring down the street in search of the next one.

Tears streaked down her cheeks, but she made no effort to wipe them away. What was the point?

She leaned out when she saw another cab approach and slow down. She climbed in, barely managing to tell the driver her cross street. He gave her an odd look in his rearview mirror as he pulled into traffic.

Her cell phone rang but she didn’t bother to dig it out of her purse. It was Cam. She’d known he’d call. After a moment, the phone went silent and then a ping sounded, signaling a text message.

She was nearing her apartment, when her phone rang again. It was Ashley’s ringtone. Pippa dug into her purse, fumbling for the phone.

“Ash?” she said as she put the phone to her ear.

“No, it’s Devon.”

Pippa went silent for a moment. “Is everything okay with Ashley and the baby?”

“I’m more concerned with whether you’re all right,” Devon said in a low voice.

“I’m f-fine,” she said in a shaky voice. “Really. I hope I didn’t hurt Ashley’s feelings by not hanging around. I just figured she’d be exhausted and with all her family there I’d just be in the way.”

“You’re never in the way, Pippa,” Devon said gently. It was as if he knew precisely how upset Pippa was. As if he was standing in front of her, watching her cry. “I just wanted to make sure everything was okay with you. I know…I know it had to be hard for you to see that. Cam, I mean.”

It was then Pippa realized that Devon had indeed picked up on the very thing she had. She closed her eyes, a fresh resurgence of tears sliding hotly down her cheeks.