Understood (Unspoken #1)(22)

As she walked toward the door, she was overcome by sadness. She looked back toward the bedroom where Jake lay sleeping. She missed him already, but she also knew she couldn’t stay. Humiliation curled in her stomach, unsettling her, making a mess of her emotions.

She turned around and walked out the door.

eee

Ellie parked her car outside the Forsythe and Turner construction office, grateful that Jake’s truck wasn’t there. She’d spent the last several hours making some hard choices. The very fact that she’d already encountered a number of people only too willing to either offer sympathies or their ill will for wrecking an NFL quarterback’s career was enough to tell her she couldn’t stay here.

She walked into her office and sat down to type up her resignation letter. It was the least they deserved. It seemed rather silly to make it official when she had no intention of sticking around to serve a notice. But it made her feel better to make it less personal. If she didn’t write it, she’d be stuck trying to explain why she was leaving. Far better to simply hand in a letter and leave.

After getting together the few things she wanted to take with her, she went back out to her car and headed for where she knew Luke to be. He had a meeting at one of the job sites he managed, and he’d be there until noon. Since he and Jake split sites, she knew Jake would be elsewhere.

Ten minutes later, she got out, pulling her jacket tighter around her to shield her from the cold. She’d barely taken two steps when Luke hurried her way, a concerned expression marring his face.

“Ellie, what are you doing here? Are you all right?” he asked as he walked up.

She swallowed nervously. Then she thrust the letter at him. “I came to give you this. And to thank you.”

He looked down at the letter and slowly took it from her. Then he looked back up at her. “I don’t like your tone, Ellie. It sounds too much like goodbye.”

She shrugged, the nervous flutterings in her stomach kicking into overdrive as he opened the letter.

He swore softly under his breath then crumpled the paper in his hand.

“I won’t accept this, Ellie.”

She twisted her lips into a grimace. “You don’t have a choice, Luke. It’s what I have to do.”

“No, it’s what you think you have to do. Damn it, don’t do this. Don’t let that bastard win.”

“I need to go now,” she said softly.

He reached out a hand to stop her. “Wait. Just for a minute. Please.”

She gave him a puzzled look. “Why?”

He relaxed and looked at a point beyond her shoulder. She turned to see Jake tearing up the drive of the construction site.

She rounded on Luke. “You called him.”

“As soon as I saw you pull up,” he admitted. “He’s worried sick about you, Ellie. You owe it to him to give this to him face-to-face. Not hide behind me.”

She looked away. Luke leaned over and pulled her into a hug. He kissed her cheek.

“I want you to be happy.”

He gave her another squeeze then turned and walked away as Jake approached.

She watched as Jake closed the distance between them. Worry darkened his face. He looked as if he hadn’t gotten any more sleep than she had the night before.

“Ellie, you had me worried,” he chastised. “Don’t ever do that again.”

He pulled her roughly into his arms and held onto her for a long moment.

“What are you doing out here?” he asked as he pulled away.

“I came to give Luke my resignation,” she said quietly.

“What?”

She didn’t respond.

“What the f**k is going on, Ellie?”

He prodded her chin up with his fingers when she wouldn’t look at him.

“I need to get away for awhile,” she whispered. “I can’t stay here. Not now.”

“So you’re running,” he said flatly.

She winced. “Maybe I am, Jake, but it’s something I have to do. I can’t stay here. It’s already started. The pity, the judgment, the anger that I f**ked up Ray Hatcher’s career. I actually had someone stop me and say that if I had been more of a woman, maybe Ray and I wouldn’t have had problems. Can you believe that?”

“Yes,” he said calmly. “People say and do stupid shit all the time. That doesn’t mean you let them run your life.”

“I can’t stay, Jake.” She barely managed to say it without her voice cracking. “You’re right in one aspect. I haven’t really dealt with what happened. I just existed from one day to the next, ignoring the fall-out, wishing it would just go away. And it hurts.”

He slid a hand up her arm then over her shoulder to her neck. “I know you hurt, Ellie. God knows I’d do anything to make the pain stop. But this isn’t going to help. You’re running from me, and that hurts me.”

She looked helplessly up at him.

“I’m torn,” he admitted. “Half of me wants to make you stay. To drag you home with me and never let you go. The other half wants to let you go because I’d never do anything to hold you back.”

She leaned into his arms and rested her forehead on his chest. “I love you, Jake. Really, I do.”

“I know you do,” he said quietly. “And I wish it was enough that I loved you.”