Two of a Kind (Fool's Gold #11)(94)

Gideon felt as if someone had hit him on the side of the head with a two-by-four. For a second, the world went dark and quiet, and then it all cleared again. He had been looking for answers about why he had survived and there were none. Or maybe the answer was twofold: Carter and Felicia.

He looked at his friend, the one who had risked his own life to pull him from that Taliban prison.

“I owe you,” he said quietly.

“Yeah, I know. Now get out of here.”

Gideon pulled his truck keys from his pocket and headed for the parking lot. He turned back and yelled, “Keep it clean. We have kids listening.”

Angel laughed.

* * *

FELICIA DROVE QUICKLY but carefully. She was willing to go five miles over the speed limit but not much more. Not while still in town.

“This is taking forever,” Carter grumbled.

“I don’t want to get in an accident.”

“I know. Sorry. I’m nervous.”

That was one word, Felicia thought. Terrified was another. Because while listening to Gideon, she’d realized she’d done exactly the wrong thing when she’d walked away. She’d taken the easy way out. Sure, she’d been hurt, but she’d also been scared. She hadn’t stood up for herself. She hadn’t told him what she wanted. She hadn’t made it clear she loved him.

Gideon was dealing with a past that would have killed most men and had caused the death of nearly a half-dozen excellent soldiers. He would never be like everyone else, but that was why she loved him. Because of who he was now.

She turned left to head out to the radio station and saw a truck driving into town. She slammed on the brakes. The truck driver did the same.

She was out of her car in a second and running across the street. The truck door opened, and Gideon got out. They stared at each other. Behind her she heard a car door slam and assumed Carter was joining them.

Gideon looked wonderful, she thought, her heart aching. Tall and strong. Loyal. There were ghosts, but she was comfortable with his past. He would always have issues, but no one was better at logistical planning than she was. They could figure it out together.

“I heard your show,” she began. “We both did. That was brave.”

“No. Brave isn’t telling the truth.”

“Sometimes it is. Sometimes it’s easier to keep the secret. What if they’d confirmed your darkest fears? That you didn’t deserve to be the one who survived?”

He flinched. “How did you know?”

“You weren’t grateful to be alive. You were trying to figure out how to be strong, but you also suffered from survivor’s guilt. A natural result of what you went through.”

“Got a flowchart for that?”

“I could make one.” She paused and held out her arm. Carter joined them.

Gideon looked at his son. There were explanations, he thought. For later.

He reached for the boy and held him tight. “I’m never letting go,” he promised. “No matter what. I’m so grateful to have you in my life. I have a lot of work to do to show you how important you are to me. I’ve been...scared. Scared to let you in. Scared to disappoint you.”

“Dad.” Carter’s voice was muffled. “We’re going to be okay.”

“Yes, we are, son. We are.”

Felicia fought her own tears, watching the two men she cared about most finally connect. It was so perfect.

She drew in a breath, knowing it was her turn to be brave. “I’ve been keeping secrets, too. I didn’t tell you I love you, Gideon, and I do. I want you and me and Carter to be a family. I want us to get married and have more children.”

One corner of Gideon’s mouth turned up. “That sounded a whole lot like a proposal.”

“Oh. I hadn’t considered that. I meant it to be informational. I would never propose. Socially, that’s the man’s purview, even if the truth is women hold families together much more than men. Women are also happier when they live alone, whereas men do better when they have a partner.”

“Felicia,” Carter hissed.

She turned to him. “What?”

“You’re getting off the point.”

“Oh, you’re right.” She looked back at Gideon. “I wasn’t proposing.”

“As long as that’s clear. But you’re saying I can’t be happy without you.”

“I didn’t mean that, exactly.” Why was this so hard? She loved him and wanted them to be together. She wanted to stop hurting inside and know that she could give her heart to him.

“Gideon, I—”

He moved closer and touched his fingers to her mouth. “You need to be quiet now.”

His hand settled on her waist, and he pulled her against him. She went willingly, needing to feel the heat of him. In his arms, she’d found her home. Without him, she was broken. She would stay strong, for Carter’s sake, but she wasn’t looking forward to the struggle.

“I’m sorry for all I put you through.” He looked past her. “You, too, son.”

“That’s okay, Dad.”

Gideon smiled. “Okay.” He returned his attention to her. “You never waver, Felicia, never take the easy way out. I admire you and I respect you. I want us to be together. You, me and Carter. Carter and I need you.” He looked at Carter, who nodded. “We love you, Felicia.”