Two of a Kind (Fool's Gold #11)(89)

Gideon watched it all, physically there, but separate from what was happening. He could see Felicia’s emotion but wasn’t a part of it. Sure, he was glad the boys were fine, but he didn’t have the same connection as the others. It was like being underwater and hearing sound. He knew it was there but couldn’t recognize it.

And then he knew. Whatever had been done to him, whatever had been beaten from him, whatever had allowed him to survive when the others didn’t, wasn’t because he was stronger than them. It was because there was something wrong with him. He wasn’t like other people. They had loved once, and losing all they loved had destroyed them. He’d thought them weak, but he was wrong. They were completely human.

And he wasn’t.

He didn’t have the same emotions, the same needs. Perhaps the flaw had always been there, and the torture had brought it to the surface. Maybe he’d been more whole before, but what had happened to him had caused breaks. He didn’t know, and it didn’t matter. Except he had a child now.

What was he supposed to do about Carter?

It didn’t take them long to get back to the park. Nearly everyone who had turned out to help them with the search wanted to see the boys, as if to be reassured that they really were okay. Carter stayed close to Felicia, and she did the same, as if they both needed reassurance.

Finally the mayor started telling people to head home.

“It’s late,” she reminded them. “Tomorrow’s a workday, everyone.” Then she looked at Carter. “Did you get what you wanted?”

Gideon frowned and Felicia looked confused, but Carter flushed.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he began, then shrugged. “I don’t know.” He smiled. “Felicia loves me.”

“Was there any doubt?” the mayor asked.

“Not for a while now.” Unexpectedly, he turned to Gideon. “Dad, were you scared about me being gone?”

Gideon sensed the trap and didn’t know how to avoid it.

“I don’t understand,” Felicia said. “What are you talking about? Of course he was terrified. We all were.”

“That’s not what he means,” Gideon said stiffly, as all the puzzle pieces came together. It shouldn’t have taken him this long, he told himself. It’s not as if the kid was subtle.

“He wants us to get together,” he told Felicia. “He wants us married so he can have a family. That’s what tonight was about. Scaring us into realizing our feelings.”

* * *

FELICIA WOULDN’T HAVE thought she had any emotions left. The ups and downs of the past few hours, not to mention the long weekend of the festival, had drained her. But apparently there was also room for surprise.

“He’s right,” Mayor Marsha said quietly. “That’s exactly what Carter wants. We’ve been talking about it a little. The one thing every child needs is stability.” She smiled. “All right. Two things, because love matters, too. What’s happening now is confusing. Carter needs to know where things stand.”

Get married or split up, Felicia thought, barely able to process the information.

“We’ll talk about it,” she said.

Gideon didn’t say anything.

They walked to the truck. Carter slid into the rear seat. Felicia climbed into the passenger seat as Gideon took the wheel. None of them spoke.

The drive up the mountain passed in a blur, but as they pulled into the driveway, she realized that she didn’t need to go looking for an answer, that it had been there all along.

Telling Carter she loved him had been a spontaneous moment. A burst of emotion, followed by a complete sense of rightness. She might not be the best mother around, but she was willing to do all she could, to learn, to be supportive and to establish boundaries. She would give her life for him if necessary and pray it was all enough.

Now, as she searched her heart, she discovered she’d also fallen for another person, but in a completely different way.

Gideon. Always Gideon.

From the first moment she’d spoken to him in that bar in Thailand, he’d been a part of her life. He’d made her feel good about herself, had laughed with her, cared for her, taught her and made her feel safe. When she wasn’t sure if she could fit in or where she belonged, she was comfortable with him. Loving him was so easy, she hadn’t recognized the symptoms.

He pulled to a stop in front of the house. She turned to tell him, only to remember they weren’t alone. A quick glance over her shoulder showed her a very sleepy teen who could barely crawl out of the truck.

“Can you punish me in the morning?” Carter asked with a big yawn.

“Sure.”

“Thanks.”

He hugged her, handed over his cell phone and walked inside. She and Gideon followed.

“What’s the cell phone for?” Gideon asked.

“I’m not sure. I guess he’s assuming he’s going to lose it while he’s grounded.” She frowned. “I don’t know what it means to be grounded. I’ll have to do some research.”

Gideon closed the front door behind them. They stood in the living room, not looking at each other. Tension filled the space, making her feel awkward and unsure.

“About what the mayor said,” she began.

“I know what Carter thinks,” he started.