Two of a Kind (Fool's Gold #11)(90)

“You go first,” she murmured.

He walked toward the kitchen, then turned back to face her. “The mayor’s right. Carter needs stability.”

Felicia felt herself starting to bubble up with happiness. She was truly going to have it all. A man she loved, a child and a place to belong. Because the town had come through, not just for her, but for all of them. First, with the festival and then, tonight. As long as they lived in Fool’s Gold, they would always have a community that cared.

“This relationship is confusing him,” Gideon continued. “In the morning I’ll explain it was never going to happen. Us getting married. I asked for your help and you were there for me, Felicia. I appreciate that. I don’t want to stand in your way. I know you want to find the right guy and settle down, and that’s not going to happen with me.”

The pain was so sharp it almost didn’t hurt. It was more concept than sensation. But the promise of agony whispered at the very edges of her consciousness, and she knew she didn’t have long until she would be nothing more than an open wound.

“You want me to leave.”

She wasn’t asking a question, and a part of her was surprised she could still speak.

“I don’t want to take advantage of you.”

He was trying to make this about her, to be the nice guy. But it wasn’t and he wasn’t. He wanted her gone because he didn’t believe he could be like everyone else. She’d always known that. Why had she allowed herself to forget?

She remembered telling Consuelo she wouldn’t mind a broken heart. That she would appreciate having been in love and would accept the consequences. Her friend had warned her, but she hadn’t listened. She’d been so sure she would be fine. She hadn’t known what this could feel like.

“We’ll talk in the morning,” Gideon said. “You need to get some sleep. You’re exhausted.”

Sleep? She would never sleep.

“No,” she told him. “I’m leaving now.”

“Felicia, no. It’s late.”

He moved toward her, but she stepped away. She couldn’t stand to have him touch her. No, she thought, shuddering. She desperately wanted him to touch her, and when he did, she would lose the little strength she had left. She would want to beg and plead, to prepare diagrams and flow charts explaining why he was wrong. Why this was so right for all of them.

Carter. She squeezed her eyes shut. She was going to have to tell him goodbye.

She would pack first, she thought. Complete the task and then tell him. She would make it clear he would always be welcome in her life and her home. That he could come stay with her, that they would talk every day.

Tears burned, but she refused to give in. That was for later. For now, she had to keep moving.

* * *

CARTER SAGGED AGAINST the hallway wall. Disappointment made it hard to swallow. He was out of ideas, he thought sadly. Out of ways to make Gideon see what was important.

He turned and walked to his bedroom, where he quickly collected his computer and a few clothes. The rest could wait. He didn’t think Gideon would care if he came back and got it later. After zipping up his backpack, he walked down the hallway to the master suite.

Gideon stood outside the door. “You don’t have to do this,” he said.

Carter didn’t hear Felicia answer, but he guessed it was something along the lines of not having a choice.

Carter moved past him and walked into the bedroom. Felicia looked up.

“Carter, what are you...” Her gaze settled on the backpack. “You heard.”

He nodded.

“You don’t have to leave, Carter. This is your home. Gideon is your father. He wants you with him.”

“If he can’t love you, he can’t love me, either. I’m a kid, Felicia. I need to be where the love is.” His heart stopped as he realized she might have just been saying the words rather than meaning them. “If you want me.”

“Oh, Carter. I love you. Of course you can come live with me.”

He didn’t remember moving, but suddenly she was holding him and he was hanging on and neither of them was going to let go. He’d wanted it all—a set of parents and a home, but two out of three wasn’t bad.

CHAPTER TWENTY

GIDEON WAITED UNTIL dawn to go running. He’d wanted to leave earlier but knew the stupidity of heading up the mountain while it was still dark. He would take responsibility for breaking his neck but didn’t see the point in needing a second rescue party in less than twenty-four hours.

As soon as the sun cleared the top of the mountain, he was out and moving. He drove himself hard, quickly breaking out in a sweat and breathing hard.

The uneven terrain challenged his body but left his mind free to wander. Free to think and speculate. What were they doing now?

He’d spent the night wandering the house. He’d tried to sleep a few times but hadn’t been successful. The place he’d once seen as his haven was too large, too empty. The quiet had pressed in on him until he’d wanted to be anywhere else.

He tripped over uneven ground and went down on one knee. The sharp pain sent him back to his feet and he kept running. Blood trickled down his leg but he ignored it, ignored all of it. He could outrun anything. That was what he had to believe.

They were gone because he’d asked them to go. It was the right decision. He couldn’t be what either Carter or Felicia needed. There wasn’t enough left. He should be happy, or at least relieved.