Theirs to Keep (Tangled Hearts Trilogy #1)(30)

Terror.

“Mornin’,” Cade called out.

Merrick paused at the blender, where he was concocting his high-protein breakfast shake that he always drank before his morning workout at his gym. He stared at her, those eyes brooding but unerringly able to ferret out the slightest shift in her mood.

“What’s wrong?” Merrick asked bluntly.

Cade arched a brow, but he too was staring at her like he knew something was off.

She gave a slight grimace and trudged toward the table where she could sit and see both men.

“Nothing’s wrong. I’m just a little…” She pursed her lips and then frowned. “I’m not sure what I am, to be honest. But let’s face it. Yesterday was pretty heavy. I guess I’m not sure what it is I’m supposed to do now.”

“Just because we laid out how we feel about you doesn’t mean that things change,” Cade said mildly.

She glanced over, and he’d turned to the side from the stove, his hip cocked against the edge as he held a spatula in his left hand.

“Logically, I know that. Or at least I think I do. I’m just afraid. Of so many things. Right now, I’m freaked out by my own shadow. It’s hardly a time to be contemplating a serious relationship. I don’t know why the both of you aren’t running like hell in the other direction. What could you possibly see in me?”

Merrick’s expression immediately grew stormy. Cade’s brow furrowed in a clear what-the-f*ck manner, and she held up her hand to stop the inevitable blowup.

“I’m not being all woe is me here, guys. I’m not even saying it to garner sympathy or to build up my ego. I’m not even spouting a bunch of crap of how I’m not worthy, and you’re too good, blah blah blah. I’m being brutally honest here. I’m a complete and utter hot mess. I’m so twisted up that it could take years to untie all the knots. Why on earth would you put yourself through this? I’m genuinely baffled.”

Merrick’s face softened. He dumped the now-empty blender into the sink and then walked to where she sat, taking the chair next to her. He reached for her hand, twining their fingers together.

“How do you explain why the sun rises every morning? How do you explain the stars in the sky? How do you understand why no two snowflakes are alike? Some things just are, baby. And this is one of them. I can’t give you pretty, dressed-up answers that are so polished they don’t even sound sincere. I can only tell you that for me, it’s you. It’s always going to be you and nobody else. Fuck explaining it. I don’t need an explanation. I just need you.”

“Not that I can do near the job he just did with that oh-so-eloquent speech,” Cade said dryly. “But I’d like to put my two cents in at least.”

Her chest was so tight that she wasn’t certain she could take any more like what Merrick had just stunned her with. She was speechless. And her heart fluttered so wildly that she felt light-headed and dizzy. Drunk on sensation.

The hope that had sprung in the last little while had started as a slow trickle that she kept a very tight rein on. She’d feared getting ahead of herself.

But now it was all out there. It was impossible to misunderstand their intentions. They wanted her. Both of them. And God, she wanted them too.

Cade touched a finger to her cheek and tenderly traced the lines of her face, landing on the fullness of her lips, until it was all she could do not to swipe her tongue over the tip.

“A lot of what Merrick said is exactly how I feel. Maybe I fought it more than he did in the beginning because I couldn’t wrap my head around how we could possibly make it work. It’s not going to be easy. It’s going to take the ultimate commitment from all three of us, and we’ll have to work three times as hard as a couple in a traditional relationship.

“But with that said, once I stopped fighting it and allowed myself to say…what if? It was freeing. I began to think of the possibilities. I thought of how happy that I know we can make you. If you’ll just give us that chance,” he ended softly.

“But will I make you happy?”

“You already make us happy,” Merrick said.

Cade leaned down and kissed her forehead. “I understand why you feel the way you do, honey. I get it. I really do. I know we didn’t meet under the best circumstances. I know you have a lot of fears and insecurities over not knowing what’s in your past, and I know you worry that you’re a burden to me and Merrick and that somehow we’ve got it all screwed up in our heads, that we’re suffering some kind of savior complex, and that’s why we’re so into you.”

She blinked, unable to even respond to that.

“I’m right, aren’t I?”

Slowly she nodded. “That’s about it in a nutshell.”

“Put it out of your mind,” Cade said, as blunt as Merrick had been just moments earlier. “It’s not remotely true. You’re here with us because we want you here. There are a number of agencies we could have turned you over to. Hell, we could have just called the police and washed our hands of you months ago. But we didn’t do any of that because we want you here with us, and we’ll do damn near anything to persuade you that it’s where you need to be.”

She smiled then and reached up to take his hand, squeezing for all she was worth. “I don’t know if it’s where I need to be, but it’s where I want to be.”