Theirs to Keep (Tangled Hearts Trilogy #1)(27)

“How about we have this conversation when Cade returns,” Merrick said gently. “This is important to him—to us. To me. Some things just need to be said. Worked out. I don’t want there to be any misunderstanding over this.”

Slowly she nodded and then sagged into his chest. “I’m still afraid, and I hate it,” she whispered. “I hate being so damn helpless and powerless. I hate being a coward who doesn’t want to remember, who prefers a blank slate to remembering the person I was.”

He stroked his hand over her hair. “You went through a horrific ordeal. It’s only natural that you’re scared. Don’t beat yourself up over it. Just know that Cade and I are here, and if you’re ever scared, all you have to do is come to one of us. As for the rest, it will come in time. Don’t be so hard on yourself. When you’re ready and able to hold up under whatever it is that’s hiding in your past, you’ll remember.”

His words bolstered her flagging spirit. They slid soul deep, offering her comfort in the darkest places of her mind and spirit.

She sighed and melted into his embrace, allowing his touch to warm and soothe her shattered senses.

In the distance, she heard Cade call that he needed help with the groceries, and she popped her head up.

She scrambled off Merrick’s lap but then hesitated, standing between his knees. Then she leaned down and kissed him softly on the lips.

“Thank you. I don’t know what happened to send you and Cade to me, but I thank God for you both every day.”

Merrick smiled. “Ever consider that we thank him for giving us you?”

Her eyes widened, because no, she hadn’t ever considered such a thing. Frankly it seemed ludicrous to her that the two of them would thank anyone for having such a burden dumped on their lap.

Merrick rose and took her hand. “Come on. Let’s go help Cade with the groceries, and then you can figure out what you want to make for dinner. That was what you said, right? You picked out lots of yummy stuff to make for us?”

The hopeful note in his voice made her smile. “Yeah, I did. I was careful to get stuff you can eat. You know, high protein. Low carbs. I didn’t want to mess up your training.”

The look in Merrick’s eyes made her stomach coil into a tight knot. Warmth brimmed in those dark eyes, and he pulled her to him, his hand cupping her cheek.

“That was sweet of you,” he said in a husky voice.

She thought he might kiss her again, but instead he kept hold of her hand, squeezing lightly as he headed in Cade’s direction.

They entered the kitchen as Cade was bringing in an armful of sacks.

“There more?” Merrick asked.

“Just two,” Cade said.

“I’ll grab them. You and Elle start putting up.”

Elle turned to open one of the sacks, but Cade put his hand out to her. His expression was troubled and inquiring as he stared at her.

“You okay? You look upset.”

She offered a smile. “I was, but I’m okay now. Really.”

He tugged her into his arms and kissed her, warm, sweet and lingeringly. And then he slowly pulled away, his eyes sparking with heat. She stood there, a little befuddled, while he began putting the milk and eggs in the refrigerator.

“Hey, no slacking,” Merrick said as he came through the door.

She blinked and then looked down at the still-full sack in front of her. Things had changed. Big-time changed. After six months of treating her with the utmost care and patience, suddenly they were being… She wasn’t even sure what it was they were being. They were still certainly careful and patient. So very gentle and loving. But now it was different. It was almost as if they were testing her…readiness?

Her ability to handle intimacy?

It was an insane thought, but she swore that was precisely what they were doing. And if so, was she ready? Or was she traumatized by something she couldn’t even remember?

More importantly, and what was making her head spin right off her shoulders, was that both men had expressed interest. Those kisses hadn’t been the kiss of a friend or acquaintance or even some affection for a woman they felt sorry for.

There may be a lot of things she couldn’t remember, but passion definitely wasn’t one of them. The heat that emanated from those kisses had nearly set her on fire.

But both of them?

It had occupied her thoughts enough, but she’d never breathed a single word aloud. She’d never even hinted that she’d had such a ridiculous thought.

She’d kept her ache secret and buried so deep that only she knew what had weighed so heavily on her mind.

She knew she had feelings for both men. Complex feelings. Some of which she didn’t even understand. All she knew was that it wasn’t something so simple as gratitude or attachment to the men who’d saved her. Nor was she latched onto them solely because she felt safe with them.

She wanted to be with them. Both of them. But never, ever had she imagined such a thing possible. She would have never brought it up, so afraid was she that it would ruin everything.

But now it seemed that they were bringing it up in their own way. Was it possible that they’d had the same thoughts she had?

She’d written it off as crazy. Something that happened with other people. People you saw on television shows or daytime corny talk shows.

She was so scared and hopeful at the same time she wanted to burst. The more she thought about it and weighed it in her mind, the more she considered that they wouldn’t both be saying the things they were saying and wouldn’t be both kissing her if they didn’t have some sort of plan of both being a part of her life. Her future.