Tempted (House of Night #6)(16)

For all she knew his insides were as broken as his outsides looked. For all she knew, he was dead. He sure looked dead. She watched his chest and couldn't be 100 percent certain, but she didn't think she saw it rising or falling with his breath. He was probably dead. She kept staring at him, unwilling to move closer, and unable to turn and walk away. Was she batshit crazy? Why hadn't she stopped to think before she'd dragged him in here? She stared at him. He wasn't human. He wasn't even animal. It wasn't playing God to let him die; he should never have been born. Stevie Rae shuddered. She continued to stand there as if she was frozen by the horror of what she'd done. What would her friends say if they found out she'd hidden a Raven Mocker? Would Zoey turn away from her? And what repercussions would this creature's presence cause with the red fledglings, all of the red fledglings? As if they didn't have enough dark, evil things to deal with? The nun had been right. He shouldn't evoke pity in her. She was going to take the towels and stuff back to the green house, go inside the abbey, find Darius and tell him that there was a Raven Mocker in the shed.

Then she'd let the warrior do his job. If he wasn't dead already, Darius would take care of business. It would actually be putting the bird guy out of his misery. She let out a long breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding in relief at her decision, and his red eyes opened and met hers. Finish it . . . the Raven Mocker's voice was weak and filled with pain, but it was clearly, absolutely, undeniably human. And that was it. Stevie Rae realized the reason she hadn't called Dallas and the rest of them when she'd discovered him. When he'd spoken before and told her to kill him, he'd sounded like a real guy--one who had been hurt and abandoned and scared.

She hadn't been able to kill him then, and she wasn't able to turn away from him now. His voice made all the difference, because even though he looked like a being that shouldn't be possible, he sounded like a regular guy who was so desperate and in such pain that he expected the very worst to happen to him. No, that was wrong. He didn't just expect the very worst to happen to him, he wanted it to. What he had gone through was so horrible he couldn't see any way out of it except through his own death. To Stevie Rae, even though what he'd been through was largely of his own making, that made him very, very human. She'd been there. She understood such complete hopelessness.

Chapter Eight

Stevie Rae controlled her automatic impulse to step back because guy voice or no guy voice, and the question of his humanity put temporarily aside, the honest truth was he was one big, bird guy whose blood smelled seriously wrong. And Stevie Rae was very much alone with him. Look, I know you're hurt and all, so you're not thinkin' right, but if I was gonna kill you I definitely wouldn't have dragged you in here. She made her voice sound normal and instead of backing away from him like she wanted to, she stood her ground and she met those cold red eyes that looked so bizarrely human. Why won't you kill me? The words were little more than an agonized whisper, but the night was so silent that Stevie Rae had no trouble hearing him. She could have pretended she didn't hear what he'd said, or at least didn't understand him, but she was sick of evasions and lies, so she continued to hold his gaze and told him the truth, Well, actually, that has a lot more to do with me than you, and that makes it a kinda long, confusing story. I guess mostly I'm not real sure why I won't kill you, 'cept for the fact that I tend to do things my own way, and I can definitely say I'm not a big fan of killing. He stared at her until she wanted to squirm under that strange red gaze. Finally he said, You should. Stevie Rae's eyebrows went up. I should know, I should kill ya, or I should do things my own way? You're gonna have to be more specific. Oh, and you should also consider being less bossy.

You're not exactly in a position to tell me what I should do. Obviously at the very end of his strength, his eyes had begun to close, but her words had him reopening them. She could see some kind of emotion changing his expression, but his face was so foreign, so unlike anything or anyone she was used to, that she couldn't read him. His black beak opened as if he was going to say something. At that moment a shudder rippled through his body. Instead of speaking, he closed his eyes tightly and moaned. The sound was filled with an agony that was completely human. Automatically she took a step toward him. His eyes reopened and, even though they were glazed with pain, she could see his scarlet gaze was focused on her. Stevie Rae stopped and spoke slowly and distinctly. Okay, here's the deal. I brought water and stuff to bandage you up with, but I'm not really cool with coming over there by you unless you give me your word you won't try anything I'm not gonna like. This time Stevie Rae was sure the emotion she saw within the red of those human eyes was surprise.

I cannot move. His words were halting, and it was an obvious effort for him to speak at all. Does that mean I have your word you won't bite me or do anything else that's not very nice? Yesssss. His voice had gone all guttural and the word ended in a hiss, which Stevie Rae didn't find at all reassuring. Still, she straightened her spine and nodded like he hadn't just sounded like a snake. Well. Good. Okay, let's see what I can do to make ya feel better. Then, before she could talk some sense into her own dang head, she walked right up to the Raven Mocker. She plopped the towels and the moss on the ground beside him, and set the water bucket down more carefully. He really was big. She'd forgotten that. Well, maybe it was more like she'd blocked it from her memory, because forgetting his size was pretty hard. It hadn't been exactly easy to drag/carry him into this shed before Erik or Dallas or Heath or anyone had seen her, even though he'd been weirdly light for how heavy he looked. Water. The word was almost a croak. Oh, yeah, sure! Stevie Rae jumped and then fumbled with the handle of the dipper. It fell on the floor, and as embarrassed as she was frazzled, she dropped it again--had to pick it up, wipe it on a towel, and then finally dip it into the water. She moved closer to him. He stirred weakly, obviously trying to raise an arm, but the attempt caused him to moan again and his arm seemed to only be able to hang at his side, as useless as his broken wing.