Tempted (House of Night #6)(12)

In a weird way, she must be seeing herself in them. She'd died and then, due to what I supposed she could call an accident she'd resurrected without most of her humanity. Then, due to another accident, she'd gotten her humanity back. Looking at it that way, I guess she felt sorry for them because she knew what it was like to be part monster, part human. Hey, I said softly, wishing she and I were back at the House of Night and could talk as easily as we used to. There's a big difference between an accident causing something to be born messed up, and something terrible that happens after someone's born. On one hand you're made the way you are--on the other, something tried to change you into someone you're not. Huh? Heath said. I believe what Zoey is trying to say is that she understands why Stevie Rae might empathize with the dead Raven Mockers, even when she really has nothing in common with them, said Sister Mary Angela. And Zoey would be right. Those creatures are dark beings, and even though I, too, am disconcerted by death, I understand that they needed to die. Stevie Rae's gaze left mine. You're both wrong. That's not what I'm thinkin', but I'm not gonna talk about it anymore. She started down the hall, walking quickly away from us. Stevie Rae? I called after her. She didn't even look back at me. I'm gonna find Erik, make sure everything's really okay out there, and then send him inside. I'll talk to you later. She turned and disappeared through a door I assumed led to the outside, slamming it behind her. That's not usually how she acts, Dallas said. I'll pray for her, Sister Mary Angela whispered. Don't worry, Heath said. She'll be back inside pretty soon. The sun's getting ready to come up. I swiped my hand across my face. What I should've done was follow Stevie Rae outside, corner her, and make her tell me exactly what was going on. But I couldn't deal with one more problem just then.

I hadn't even dealt with my A-ya memory. I could feel it sitting there in the back of my mind like a guilty secret. Zo, are you okay? You look like you need some sleep. We all do, Heath said, yawning. I blinked and gave him a weary smile. Yeah, that's true. I'll go to bed. First I want to check on Stark real quick, though. Very quickly, Sister Mary Angela said. I nodded. Without looking at Heath, I said, Okay, well, um. I'll see you guys in about eight hours or so. Good night, child. Sister Mary Angela hugged me and whispered, And may our Lady bless and watch over you. Thanks, Sister, I whispered back, hugging her tightly. When I let her go, Heath surprised me by taking my hand.

I gave him a question-mark look. I'll walk you to Stark's room, he said. Feeling defeated, I shrugged, and he and I started down the hall, hand in hand. We didn't say anything; we just walked. Heath's hand was warm and familiar in mine and I fell into step easily beside him. I was just starting to let myself relax when Heath cleared his throat. Hey, uh, I want to say sorry about that crap outside earlier with Erik and me. It was stupid. I shouldn't let him get to me, Heath said. You're right--you shouldn't, but he can be annoying, I said. Heath grinned. Tell me about it. You're gonna dump him pretty soon, aren't you? Heath, I am so not going to talk about Erik with you.

His grin just got bigger. I rolled my eyes. You can't fool me. I know you too well. You don't go for bossy guys. Just shut up and walk, I said, but I squeezed his hand, and he squeezed mine back. He was right--I didn't like bossy guys, and he did know me very, very well. We'd come to a turn in the hallway. There was a nice picture window with an alcove in front of it, complete with a cushy bench that looked perfect for reading. On the windowsill there was a beautiful porcelain statue of Mary with several votives burning on either side of her. Heath and I slowed down, pausing by the window. That's really pretty, I said softly. Yeah, I've never paid Mary much attention. But all these statues of her lit up by candles are cool looking. Do you think the nun's right? Could Mary be Nyx and Nyx be Mary? I have no idea. Doesn't Nyx talk to you? Yeah, sometimes, but the subject of Jesus' mom hasn't come up, I said. Well, I think you should ask her next time. Maybe I will, I said. We just stood there, holding hands and watching the way the warm yellow flames danced off the gleaming statue. I was thinking about how nice it would be if my Goddess would visit me during a time that wasn't filled with life-and-death stress when Heath blurted, So I hear that Stark swore himself into your service as a Warrior.

I studied him carefully, looking for signs that he was pissed or jealous, but all I saw in his blue eyes was curiosity. Yeah, he did. Word is that's a majorly special bond. Yeah, it is, I said. He's the guy who can't miss with an arrow, right? Right. So having him on your side is kinda like being protected by the Terminator? That made me smile. Well, he's not as big as Arnold, but I guess it's a pretty good comparison. Does he love you, too? His question caught me off guard, and I didn't know what to say. As he'd been doing since we were in grade school, Heath seemed to know the exact right thing to say. Just tell me the truth, that's all. Yeah, I think he loves me. And you him? Maybe, I said reluctantly. But it doesn't change how I feel about you. But what does that mean for you and me today? It was weird that his words echoed Aphrodite's question about where the A-ya memory left Kalona and me. I felt overwhelmed because I didn't have an answer for either of them; I rubbed at the headache that was starting to pound through my right temple.

I guess it leaves us Imprinted and annoyed. Heath didn't say anything. He just watched me with that sweet, sad, familiar look that said more about how badly I was hurting him than a dozen screaming matches between us would have. He was breaking my heart. Heath, I'm so sorry. I just . . . I just . . . My voice broke and I tried again. I just don't know what to do about a lot of things right now. I do. Heath sat down on the bench and held out his arms to me. Zo, come here. I shook my head. Heath, I can't-- I'm not asking anything from you, he interrupted firmly. I'm giving you something. Come here. When I just looked at him in confusion he sighed, reached up, took my hands, and gently drew my stiff but unresisting body to his lap and into his arms. He held me, resting his cheek on top of my head, like he'd been doing since he'd gotten bigger than me somewhere around the eighth grade.