Tempted (House of Night #6)(21)

Undoubtedly, I was going to drive my own self crazy. Stifling a sigh, I opened the door quietly. The only light was coming from one of those tall prayer candles--the kind you can find in the grocery store that have really weird religious pictures on them. This one wasn't so weird. It was pink, had a pretty picture of Mary on it, and it smelled like roses. I tiptoed over to Stark's bedside. He didn't look good, but he also wasn't as pale and awful as he had been not long before. He seemed to be asleep--or at least his eyes were closed--his breathing was regular, and he looked relaxed. He didn't have a shirt on, and the hospital sheet was pulled up under his arms so that I could just see the white top of what must have been a huge bandage covering his chest.

I remembered how terrible the burn had been and wondered if, even considering the possible ramifications, I should make a cut in my arm like Heath had done for me, and then shove it against his mouth. He'd probably latch on to it automatically and, without thinking, drink what he needed to heal. But would he be pissed when he'd realized what I'd done? Probably. I knew Heath and Erik certainly would be. Crap. Erik. I hadn't even begun to deal with him yet. Stop stressing. I jumped and my gaze instantly went to Stark's face. His eyes weren't closed any longer. He was watching me with an expression that was somewhere between amused and sarcastic.

Stop psychically eavesdropping. I wasn't. I could tell by watching you gnaw your lip that you were stressing yourself out. So, I guess Darius talked to you. Yeah, he has. Did you know about all that went along with giving me your Warrior's Oath before you did it? Yeah, mostly. I mean I'd read about it at school, and we talked about it in Vamp Soc Class this past year. It's different to actually experience it, though. Can you really feel what I feel? I asked hesitantly, almost as afraid to know the truth as to not know it. I'm starting to, only it's not like I can hear your thoughts or anything crazy like that. I just feel things sometimes, and I know they're not coming from me.

I mostly ignored it when it first happened, but then I realized what was going on and paid more attention to it. He started to smile. Stark, I have to tell you that kinda makes me feel spied on. His expression went totally serious. I'm not spying on you. This isn't about me following you around with my mind. I'm not going to invade your privacy; I'm going to keep you safe. I thought you-- He broke off, looking away from me. Never mind. It's not important. You should just know I'm not going to use this thing between us to be like a creeper and mentally stalk you. You thought I what? Finish what you started to say. He let out a long, exasperated breath and met my eyes again. What I started to say is that I thought you trusted me more than that. That's one of the reasons I decided to give you my oath, because you trusted me when no one else did.

I do trust you, I said quickly. But you think I'd spy on you? Trust and spying don't go together. When he put it that way, I could see his point, and some of my initial freak-out started to fade. I don't think you'd do it on purpose, but if my emotions are blabbing at you, or whatever they do, then it would be easy for you to, well . . . I trailed off and fidgeted, not comfortable with the whole conversation. Spy? he finished for me. No. I won't. How's this: I'll pay attention to the psychic stuff I get from you if you're scared. Other than that I'll ignore how you're feeling. He met my eyes and I could see his hurt there. Crap! I hadn't meant to hurt him.

You'll ignore everything I'm feeling? I asked softly. He nodded and the movement made him grimace in pain, but his voice was steady when he answered. Everything except what I need to know to protect you. Without speaking, I reached out slowly and took his hand. He didn't pull away from me, but he also didn't say anything. Look, I started this whole conversation wrong. I do trust you. I was just surprised when Darius told me about the psychic thing. Surprised? Stark's lips tilted up. Okay, maybe completely freaked is a better word. It's just that I have a bunch of stuff going on and I guess I'm stressing. You're stressing for sure, he said.

And by bunch of stuff do you mean those two guys, Heath and Erik? I sighed. Sadly, I do. He laced his fingers through mine. Those other guys don't change anything. My Oath binds us. For a second he sounded too darn much like Heath, and I had to force myself not to fidget again. I really don't want to talk about them with you right now. Or ever I thought, but didn't say. I got ya, he said. I don't feel like talking about those punks right now either. He tugged on my hand. Why don't you sit by me for a little while? I sat gingerly on the edge of the bed, not wanting to jostle him too much or hurt him. I'm not gonna break, he said, giving me his cocky grin. You almost broke, I said. Nah, you saved me. And I'm going to be okay. So, does it hurt really bad? I've felt better, he said. But the creamy stuff the nuns gave Darius to spread on the burn helps.

Except for my chest being all tight, it's mostly numb right now. But even as he spoke he shifted restlessly, as if he couldn't get comfortable. How's it going out there? He abruptly changed the subject before I could ask him any more about how he was feeling. Did all the Raven Mockers take off with Kalona? I think so. Stevie Rae and the guys found three of them dead. I paused, remembering Stevie Rae's weird reaction to Dallas telling her that they'd put the bodies in the trash. What is it? Stark asked. I don't know exactly, I answered him honestly. There're things going on with Stevie Rae that are worrying me. Like? he prompted. I looked down at our joined hands. How much could I tell him? Could I really talk to him? I'm your Warrior. You can trust me with your life. That means you can also trust me with your secrets. I met his eyes, and he continued, smiling sweetly at me. We're Oath-bound. That's a stronger tie than what happens between an Imprint or even between mates. I'll never betray you, Zoey. Ever. You can count on me. For an instant I wanted to tell him about my memory of A-ya, but instead I blurted, I think Stevie Rae's hiding red fledglings.