Sometimes It Lasts(Sea Breeze #5)(34)

“I’m pregnant,” I blurted it out, then slapped my hands over my mouth in shock. I hadn’t meant to do that.

Jeremy grabbed the nearest chair to him and sat down with a look of disbelief on his face. He didn’t take his eyes off me, and I continued to cover my mouth for fear of what else I would say if I uncovered it.

“How?” he asked, looking horrified.

I dropped my hands and wrung them nervously in front of me. “Cage. I’ve known for a few months. I just. . . I don’t know if I should tell Daddy. I want him to know he’s going to be a grandfather. But I don’t want to worry him. What do I do?” I asked, hoping Jeremy had some knowledge I didn’t.

Jeremy hung his head and then shook it as he let the news digest. I hadn’t exactly eased him into it. “Damn, Eva. I don’t know. I mean, I think he should know, but he’s not doing so good now.”

“I know,” I said, sitting down in the chair across from him. “I know,” I repeated.

We sat in silence for several minutes. Then Jeremy looked up at me with a determined gleam in his eyes. “He’ll want to know. He deserves to know this. He is gonna worry about you doing this alone. I can fix that. Marry me, Eva. Before your daddy dies, marry me.”

I had no words. I sat there and stared at him like he had lost his mind, because I was pretty sure he had. Marry him? What was he thinking? How could I marry him?

“What? How? I don’t. . . ,” I shook my head and stood back up. “Absolutely not. I am not marrying you so I can fix my problems. Nothing about that is okay. You have a life, Jer. A life! I am not taking that from you.” I had to work to keep my voice from getting louder. I didn’t want Daddy to hear me.

Jeremy stood up and reached for my hand and pulled me close to him. Closer than I’d ever been when I wasn’t crying or hugging him. It was. . . different. “I know that you’re heart isn’t available. I know it may never be available again. I’m okay with that. We work well together, Eva. I know you better than anyone. I love you. Sure, we’re not in love, but we love each other. We have something stronger than most marriages do when they start out. I can be happy with you, Eva. I think over time our feelings would change too. Let me do this. Let me do this for you, the baby, and your daddy.”

No. I wouldn’t do it. I couldn’t. He wanted to give too much this time. Jeremy wasn’t an object I could use to fix my problems. He was a man who deserved to love as deeply as I had loved and to feel that same love back. I would not keep him from that. He should have children of his own. He should have the girl of his dreams walk down the aisle to him one day. Not me.

“I can’t do that to you. I won’t. I love you so much for offering. For believing it would work. You give all the time. I don’t ever give back. But this time I will not let you give up your happiness for me.”

Jeremy swallowed so hard, I could hear it. “Shit. I really didn’t want to tell you this. I wanted to hold it in because it’s the right thing to do. I’ve decided I don’t give a f**k about what’s right anymore. I’m in love with you, Eva. I have been in love with you since we were five years old. You just chose the other brother. Then Cage walked into your life and I watched how you were so easily attracted to him a way you never looked at me. I dealt with it. I stepped back and let him have you. I’d lived my whole life being the one you didn’t love back. It was okay. Then Cage f**ked you over and I let myself go. I let myself love you. Completely. So, when I’m asking you to marry me, I am asking you as the woman I’m in love with. I’m pretty damn sure I’ll love you until I die. I’ve loved you as long as I can remember.”

Whoa.

Oh my God.

I was asleep. This did not just happen.

“I. . . I. . . You love me?” Wrapping my head around that was the hardest part.

“Yes.”

“But I’m pregnant with Cage York’s baby,” I said in such a low voice, it sounded like I was whispering.

“You say yes and that baby becomes mine.”

How do I respond to that?

“I’m sorry to interrupt,” the Hospice nurse said, “but your dad is asking to go to bed. I know you wanted to talk to him before I gave him his meds tonight.”

I nodded. “I’m on my way.”

She gave me a small smile and ducked back out of the room.

“You were going to tell him tonight.” It wasn’t a question. It was a statement, but I nodded again anyway.

“Then we can tell him together.”

“Not about the marriage thing. I haven’t said yes. You thinking you’re in love with me doesn’t make that right, Jeremy.”

He didn’t argue. He just stood there. I stepped around him and walked to the living room where my dad was waiting on us.

* * *

His eyes were sunken into his head and his once large, powerful body was now frail and weak. Seeing him slowly wither was so hard. It got harder every day. “Hey, Daddy,” I said as I walked over to press a kiss to his forehead.

“Hey, baby girl.”

“You feeling okay tonight?” I asked, knowing he would lie. I could see the pain etched in his face. Everyday he lived now was a struggle. And here I was about to tell him I was pregnant and unmarried. Could I do that to him? No. Could I let him die without knowing about the baby I carried inside me? One that would be his heritage? No. I looked back at Jeremy. Could I love him one day? Was love and friendship enough to be more?