Sometimes It Lasts(Sea Breeze #5)(39)

“My future doesn’t matter if Eva isn’t in it.” I cut Low off. I wasn’t going to listen to how I needed to go finish school. I was tired of hearing that shit. I had lost Eva because I’d left. If I’d been there, none of that would have happened. She wouldn’t be wearing Jeremy’s damn ring right now; she’d be wearing mine.

“But this semester is almost over,” Low said, sitting on the edge of the couch as if she was ready to beg me to finish school.

“I have a 4.0, Low. I’ll take my exams online and that will be it. I’m not going back there. I’ll get a student loan and transfer to South for the fall term. I need this next term to focus on Eva.”

Low blew out a long breath that made her bangs flutter against her forehead, then she sat back against Marcus’s chest. “That’s what you really want to do?”

“Yes.”

“But—”

“Let it go, baby. If I were in his shoes, I’d do the same thing. His future is Eva and their baby. Sometimes dreams change. His has.”

I looked at Marcus Hardy and realized that might be the first wise thing that had ever come out of the dude’s mouth.

Chapter Sixteen

EVA

I had given in last night and taken another of the sleeping pills my obstetrician had prescribed me. I hadn’t been able to sleep since Daddy passed away, and I’d called my doctor desperate for help. Jeremy had also offered to stay with me, but I had sent him home. Seeing Cage yesterday had haunted me. As ridiculous as it sounded, I felt like I was doing something wrong by wearing Jeremy’s ring. It was as if I was cheating now.

He was going to want to talk to me today. Jeremy had said he had agreed to wait until after the funeral, but that he had said the baby was his. He wasn’t trying to deny it. The Cage I had loved and trusted would want our baby. But the Cage who had left me and turned from me when I had needed him most wouldn’t want a child. Maybe he was coming to tell me that he wanted to relinquish all rights to the baby to Jeremy. The thought made me sick to my stomach.

Even after everything that had happened, I didn’t want Cage to not want our baby. I wanted my little girl to have a daddy who adored her. I wanted her to have what I had. Sure, Jeremy had promised to be there for us, but he would never really love Cage’s child the way a daddy loved his child. He’d always remember whose child she really was.

I looked out over the land as I sat rocking on the front porch swing. This was mine to take care of now. I had to make it work. I was terrified of letting my daddy’s hard work be for nothing. I couldn’t let it go. It was my home. I wanted my daughter to grow up there too.

Jeremy’s truck came over the hill? reminding me that we had to decide what to do about the stockyard this next weekend. Would we make any new purchases or would we wait? I watched him roll to a stop down by the barn. He loved this land too. He was a good man. He had been there for me through everything.

He jumped down out of the truck and reached inside to grab his hat before closing the door. Watching him walk toward me I reminded myself every reason why I’d said yes. I glanced down at my empty ring finger. I hadn’t ben able to put the diamond he’d bought me last week on my hand this morning. Some days I couldn’t wear it because it felt wrong. Like I was pretending again. I hated pretending.

Lifting my gaze, I looked back at his face and saw he too had been looking at my bare ring finger. He never mentioned it when I didn’t wear the ring. Another reason I loved him.

“Morning,” he said with a smile that didn’t meet his eyes.

“Good morning,” I replied, tucking my hands between my legs so that neither of us was tempted to look at them again.

“You sleep okay?” he asked as he walked up the steps and then leaned against the railing.

“Yes. Thanks to sleeping pills. I slept fine. You?”

He nodded. “Yeah. I slept good enough, I guess.”

I wasn’t sure what to say to him then. We’d never had awkward moments before. We had them more often now. It was like we were in some strange limbo. We were engaged, but yet we’d never kissed. I couldn’t imagine kissing Jeremy. It was one of the reasons I pretended. Facing the truth was too complicated.

“He called me about thirty minutes ago. He’ll be here soon. You ready for that?”

I knew who “he” was. I didn’t have to ask. I was surprised he’d called Jeremy though. Why not me? Was he accepting my engagement to Jeremy that easily? My gut twisted. Deep down I’d thought he might be upset about Jeremy and me. Seems like once again I was wrong about Cage York.

“It’s time we talked. He deserves the chance to decide what he wants to do about Bliss. Daddy was right. Bliss is Cage’s, too. He should get a voice in what her future holds. Are you ready for that? If he wants to be a part of her life?”

Jeremy shifted his stance and crossed his arms over his chest. “You decided to go with Bliss,” he said instead of an answer.

Daddy and I had talked about baby names when he was awake and able to talk. Bliss had been his idea. I had been leaning toward Heidi. He had said that he believed my little girl was going to be my bliss. She’d bring me the happiness I thought I’d lost. I knew the night he closed his eyes for the last time that her name would be Bliss.

“Daddy named her,” I replied.