Sometimes It Lasts(Sea Breeze #5)(33)

“Ohmygod. Why would they? That’s horrible, Cage! Did you tell the authorities? Have them arrested?”

I shook my head. “No. That’s too easy. I wanted to make them pay. I wanted revenge. An eye for a f**king eye.”

“How do you know it was her? Or that roommate of yours?”

I closed my eyes, trying to fight back that morning and the memories that went with it. I didn’t want to remember Eva’s words to me. Those were the hardest. “He told me. He was sitting on the couch after it all went down. Jeremy calling me and everything.” I wouldn’t replay that part for her. “Ace was waiting on me on the couch. He was smirking at me. He said to have a nice trip home. Was sorry I couldn’t stick around. It all started coming together for me. He was the pitcher. I asked him if he knew about this and he said he’d orchestrated it all. He found my weakness and he’d used it against me.” I stopped and took a deep breath. “He didn’t realize how successfully he’d destroyed my world. The only thing he said that morning that I keep reminding myself over and over again was that I didn’t sleep with the girl. It was all set up. I did make out with her against a pool table with a crowd of witnesses. But according to other guys on the team, I was calling her. . . Eva. I didn’t know what the f**k I was doing. Even in my drugged-up state, I thought I was with Eva. I wasn’t cheating in my head. I didn’t know.” My chest hurt, but hearing her name on my lips eased some pain.

Low let out a breath she’d been holding. “Oh God, Cage. Have you explained this to Eva?”

I shook my head. “I can’t. She. . . She told me it was over. She didn’t let me explain. She told me I was her biggest mistake.”

“But, Cage, she was hurting! She had just seen something that destroyed her. I can’t imagine seeing Marcus like that with another girl. It would kill me. She is dealing with the pain of her daddy dying and then this. Of course she wanted to hurt you because she was hurting. It’s been weeks now. Call her. Go see her.”

I couldn’t. She hadn’t called. She hadn’t tried to contact me once. She hadn’t trusted me enough. Wasn’t trust part of love? She believed I didn’t love her, but she sure didn’t give me a chance to say anything.

“She didn’t trust me.”

Low reached over and took my hand in hers. “She was hurting.”

“She didn’t trust me. How can she love me if she doesn’t trust me?” I shook my head and stood up. “I can’t, Low. She closed the door. She ended this. She didn’t listen to me. She didn’t give me a chance.” I wanted to shut up. I wanted to stop talking, but my mouth kept going. “I believe she wanted out. I believe she saw how short life was with her daddy and she realized I wasn’t what she wanted in life. Not me. I wasn’t enough. So she took this excuse and she used it. If she’d wanted me, she would have fought for me. She would have wanted me to tell her this wasn’t real. She would have f**king believed me.”

Low sat there looking up at me with sad eyes, but she finally nodded and stood up. “Okay. I think you’re wrong, but I also know you’re hurting. I just hope you don’t wait too long.”

“She didn’t fight for me,” I repeated. For myself more than Low.

Low walked over and threaded her fingers through mine. “You didn’t fight for her either. Eva isn’t like your momma, Cage. Eva didn’t up and leave you alone because she just didn’t give a shit. She was destroyed. Sometimes you have to trust that you’re worth it and you have to fight for what you want. Eva is what you want. You know that and I know that. Anyone with eyes knows that.”

Low didn’t understand. No one did. No one had heard her tell me I was her biggest mistake. The cold, even tone in her voice. She’d meant it. Just like my momma had when she’d called me her biggest mistake, she’d meant it.

How could I fight for someone who didn’t want me?

“We miss you. I miss you. I wish you’d come home.”

I missed Low too. I missed my friends but not enough. Not enough to face Sea Breeze with all its memories of Eva. “I can’t, Low. I just can’t.”

“Well, until you can, then I guess I’ll come here as long as this baby and Marcus allow,” she said with a sigh.

“You’re stomach is huge, Low,” I said, looking down at her and wanting to change the subject to anything else.

“Shut up,” she snapped, and I almost laughed. Almost.

Chapter Fourteen

EVA

I wasn’t sure how much longer my daddy was going to be able to sit in his recliner and talk to me. He was going downhill and fast. Some days he never made it out of bed. And my stomach was now showing. I couldn’t continue to hide it. My baggy shirts weren’t going to work much longer. I asked Jeremy to come over after he had dinner at home. I wasn’t cooking dinner anymore. Daddy couldn’t eat it. He rarely ate. The feeding tube that the Hospice nurse put in him kept him fed for the most part.

I was going to tell them both about the baby that night. I had worried over if I should tell Daddy or not. I didn’t want him worrying about me, but I wanted him to know. One of my parents needed to know they were going to be a grandparent. Even if it wasn’t the ideal situation.

There was a swift knock on the screen door before Jeremy stepped into the kitchen. He smiled at me, but the look on my face wiped his smile away. I didn’t want to be making a huge mistake. Maybe telling Jeremy first and seeing what he thought I should do would be best. I needed a second opinion.