Redemption Road (Vicious Cycle #2)(41)

“How can you be so sure?” I whispered.

“Because I will put a bullet between his eyes before he ever has the chance.”

My heartbeat skipped erratically, as if it were playing a manic game of hopscotch. For a moment, my instinct was to recoil from him with disgust by what he had just suggested. I couldn’t fathom how the compassionate and caring Rev could also be a coldhearted killer.

Rev stared down at his hands. “I’m sorry if I disappoint you, but that’s who I am. I will protect what’s important to me. You need to understand that.” From the look of determination that was etched across his handsome features, I knew he spoke the absolute truth.

I shook my head. “Regardless of what you say you are, I could never let you do that. If you got caught, you would go to jail because of me.”

“It would be worth it to end the life of such an odious creature. Mendoza doesn’t deserve to live.”

Although I wanted Mendoza dead even more than Rev did, it was still hard hearing him say the words. Anxiety ricocheted through me, and before I could stop myself, I blurted, “But if you went to jail, then I wouldn’t get to be with you anymore!”

Rev’s smile once again sent my heart skipping, and it amazed me how quickly he could shift from intimidating to sweet and tender. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“But if you—”

“I won’t get caught.”

“How can you possibly believe that?”

“Just trust me.”

“Rev—”

“Because I’ve done it before.”

My brows furrowed in confusion.

He shook his head slowly back and forth as if he were trying to get me to see the light. “I’ve killed before, and I’ll kill again.”

A shudder ran through me at his words. My savior couldn’t be so soulless. He saved lives; he didn’t take them. He dried my tears and comforted me, which wasn’t part of a killer’s profile. With my stomach roiling in revulsion, I argued, “No . . . no, you’re not like that.”

“But I am.” He exhaled a breath that sounded tormented. “Right now, in your current frame of mind, it’s easy for you to think of me as only a knight in shining armor. But that’s just make-believe. When my club, my brothers, have been threatened or are in danger, I have fought with them. And I have killed with them.”

I sat in a dumbfounded stupor as the veil of my ignorance concerning Rev and his brothers was stripped away. Besides my time with Mendoza, I had never been in the presence of a murderer before. When I was a little girl, I had seen the faces of death row inmates on signs when groups of protestors were petitioning my grandfather for clemency. They had scared me then, and they scared the old Annabel of a few months ago.

But if I was truly honest with myself, the new Annabel was only slightly alarmed. Maybe it was because I had been through enough to see that things weren’t completely black and white in the world. There was a gray area, which many unsuspecting people were pushed into against their will. Maybe they were defending themselves against violence and it got out of hand, or maybe they were avenging those they loved. Who was I to pass judgment?

Rev must’ve misread my silence, because now he was the one putting distance between us as he rose from the bed. “I’m sorry if I’ve scared you. I don’t want you to think badly of me. But I want you to be able to say I was always honest with you.”

“I appreciate that.”

“I’m not so sure you do right now, but I think you’ll come to appreciate it in the next few days. I think it will make it easier to get on a plane to Virginia once we get back to Georgia.”

“I’m not going back to Virginia.”

“Did you not just hear what I said?”

“Every word.”

“Then what is your problem?” he demanded.

A borderline-hysterical laugh burst from my lips. “My problem? I’m pretty sure I have more than just one problem, and at the moment, your past is the least of them.”

“You’re not thinking clearly.”

“Have you ever just walked up to someone and shot them for the hell of it?”

He narrowed his eyes at me. “Of course I haven’t. Who the f*ck do you think I am?”

“So, if you’ve reached that point of violence, basically you’ve killed when you had to—when you or your brothers were threatened or when an innocent girl was being held against her will?”

“Yeah, that’s right.”

“Then I’m thinking perfectly clearly when I tell you nothing you have said would induce me to want to leave.”

Rev stared wide-eyed at me. “How can you, of all people, condone what I have done? Maybe you think it’s okay, but if you knew all the things I’ve done, if you really stopped and thought about it, I’m not sure you would feel the same way.”

“It’s not for me to judge you.”

“Bullshit.”

“Excuse me?”

“Anyone with a moral compass has the right to judge me.”

I rose and crossed the room to stand closer to him. “Do you regret what you’ve done in the past?”

Rev stopped his manic pacing. After running his hand over his beard, he replied, “Yes. Yes, of course I do.” His eyes, which were somewhat cloudy, met mine. “Regardless of what type of person they were, I took their life. I took away someone’s son, someone’s father, someone’s husband.”