Redemption Road (Vicious Cycle #2)(42)

“But you are sorry for it,” I said softly.

He closed his eyes. “Yes, I am.”

“You know what a wise man once said? That by showing true repentance for what you have done, you can find redemption. All one has to do is ask for forgiveness to whatever higher power or being you believe in.”

“As long as I keep doing it, then I’m not truly repentant, am I?”

More than anything I wanted to make him feel better, but at the same time, I knew I had to be honest with him. “No, I suppose not.”

“Our club was supposed to be going legit. It was something my new sister-in-law demanded before she married my brother.”

“Why did you stop trying?”

He exhaled a harsh breath before sitting back down on the bed. “I guess you could say it’s my fault for what I did in Mexico.”

My heart skipped a beat at his words. “Oh no. Please tell me I’m not the reason.”

Rev shook his head. “It’s because I went after Sarah. Mendoza is tied to the Diablos—one of the toughest clubs around. Like I told you before, I was a marked man the minute I entered that compound, regardless of what happened to you.”

“And you were willing to risk all that for Sarah?”

He nodded. “Because of what I’d been through and because of what Breakneck had done for me.”

At that point I felt my heart might burst with the magnitude of respect and admiration I felt for him. Maybe even some form of love. I realized then I could go the rest of my life, and I would never meet another man like Rev.

I walked over to stand in front of him. “Rev Malloy, I think someone would have to try very, very hard to find a man with as pure a heart and as kind a soul as yours.”

He gave me a weak smile. “I think you’re just being nice.”

“No. I’m not. You just keep trying to make your club legit. All the pieces will fall together.”

“I really want to believe that.”

As I surveyed his face, I realized something. “You know, I don’t think I know your real name.”

He winced. “It’s Nathaniel.”

“That’s a beautiful name.”

“I’m glad you think so. The only person who gets away with calling me that, though, is my mother.”

“It makes sense that it’s a biblical name since your father was a minister.”

“You think I look like a Nathaniel?”

I smiled. “I think you look like a Rev to me.”

Rev laughed. “I’m glad to hear it.” He glanced at the clock on the desk. “Think you can sleep now?”

The prospect of being in the dark, alone, and facing my nightmare again caused my stomach to churn. “Would you lie down with me?” At Rev’s slight hesitation, I added, “Just until I go to sleep.”

“Sure. Of course.”

After I walked around the side of the bed, I pulled back the covers so we could both get under them. Rev turned out the light on the nightstand. I moved as close to Rev as I could. Although I was probably making him uncomfortable, I was more than happy to be selfish in the moment and think only of myself.

As we lay in the dark, a thought came to me. “The other day when you recited from ‘Annabel Lee,’ was that all you knew?”

He chuckled. “Why do I get the feeling if I say I know more I’m going to end up being forced to perform?”

“I’d love to hear it all.”

“I’ve got to learn to tell you no,” he muttered. Then, after drawing in a deep breath, he began to recite the poem. I closed my eyes and burrowed against him. The deep, rich timbre of his voice relaxed me. And although the poem’s content was rather depressing, I focused more on a man whose love for his Annabel Lee could not be stopped even by death.

ELEVEN

REV

As I started to wake up, something tickled across my nose. When my hand reached up to swipe it away, I realized it was a long strand of hair. A woman’s hair. Oh f*ck, it was Annabel’s hair. I had fallen asleep with Annabel in my arms.

Opening my eyes, I peered down to see if she was awake. One side of her face was pressed against my chest as if she were trying to listen to my heartbeat. From the soft rise and fall of her chest, I could tell she was still sleeping peacefully. I debated whether to move, since I really shouldn’t have been in bed with her. Sunlight had yet to streak through the curtains, so I knew we didn’t have to get on the road yet. A glance at the clock on the nightstand told me it was a little after five. More than anything, I hated to wake Annabel when she was resting so comfortably.

Even though she had asked me to sleep with her, I knew it wasn’t a good idea. But I had taken her into my arms and then slept beside her. I hadn’t slept with a woman in years. Sure, I’d had sex with several girls since my girlfriend had broken my heart. There was never a shortage of sweet butts who wanted to ease my pain. But whenever I took those women up on their offers, they never stayed the night. To my way of thinking, sharing a bed or sleeping beside someone was almost more intimate than the act of sex itself.

I stared up at the ceiling. How in the hell had I gotten myself into this situation? I was completely in over my head. A week ago I had left to save Sarah, and somehow my whole life had changed. But as twisted as it sounds, it had changed for the better. The truth was I enjoyed spending time with Annabel. I loved her laugh, her smile, and the way she felt comfortable teasing me. I may have saved her from Mendoza, but in a way it felt like she had saved me.