Redemption Road (Vicious Cycle #2)(37)

“Oh,” I murmured, trying not to let my mortification reach my cheeks. I then proceeded to try to look anywhere but at Rev.

“You asked for it.”

“I know. Trust me, I’m sorry I pressed you for the information.”

After a few seconds of embarrassment hung over the table, a laugh came bursting out of me before I could stop myself. When I finally dared to look over at Rev, he was staring wide-eyed at me. I continued laughing, unable to catch my breath. It was like some emotional dam had broken within me, and this was the way everything was getting out. It sure beat crying.

“Annabel?” Rev questioned cautiously once I got hold of myself.

I dabbed my eyes with a napkin. “I’m sorry. I guess it was just the absurdity of the moment. Here I am having a breakdown because I had been thinking we were flirting with each other, not to mention we are two adults who just died a thousand deaths from talking about erections.”

When Rev realized I hadn’t totally lost my mind, he smiled. “I guess we were being a little uptight.”

“Yes, uptight seems to sum up exactly how I’ve been reacting to my feelings. I’m going to take your advice and push the thoughts away. Most of all, I want to lighten up. Despite what happened to me, I’m lucky to have gotten out of there.”

“More than anything, you need to be kind to yourself.” After taking a sip of tea, he said, “I know when you asked what the plans were when we get to Georgia, I said it was up to you.”

“You did.”

“I would make one suggestion. It’s one I hope you will take.”

He certainly had my interest piqued now. “What is it?”

“I want you to see a therapist as soon as possible.”

My stomach churned a little at the prospect. It wasn’t that I didn’t believe in seeing a therapist. It was just that I didn’t want to have to dredge up everything that had happened to me and relive it with a perfect stranger. At the same time, I knew I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life dealing with the fallout of emotional issues I tried to bury. So I nodded at Rev. “Yes, I will.”

I could tell he was a little surprised at how easily I consented to his suggestion. “My sister-in-law is a teacher. She works closely with a lot of health-care professionals. I can ask her to recommend one without going into your story.”

“Thank you, Rev. I would appreciate that.”

He smiled. “You’re welcome.” He then jerked his chin at my plate. “Now eat some more steak.”

Despite rolling my eyes, I didn’t bother arguing with him. Instead, I chowed down on my steak and sweet potato, which were delicious. I managed to put a lot away until my overloaded stomach began to protest. I set my fork and knife down on the plate and eased back in the booth.

Rev motioned out the window. “Look.”

I followed his gaze across the street from the diner where the twinkling, multicolored lights of a small carnival, including a Ferris wheel, stretched high into the sky.

“When we were kids, Bishop and I couldn’t wait each year for the fair to come to town. It was set up just down the road from us, and we used to save our money up so we could go every night.”

I smiled at him. “Sounds like fun.”

His brows shot up. “Did you ever go to a fair as a kid?”

Shaking my head, I replied, “I always wanted to go, but my parents . . .” I grimaced as their words echoed through my head.

“What?”

I twisted my napkin in my lap. “My parents said only low-rent people went to the fair, and I would catch something from them.”

Rev barked out a humorless laugh. “Well, I’m pretty sure they were right about my family’s low-rent status, but we never spread any diseases.”

I stared down at my plate, wishing I had answered him differently. In that moment, I hated my parents even more. I hated their hypocrisy of acting like they cared for the poor by having thousand-dollar-a-plate fund-raisers, but at the same time staring down their noses at anyone who wasn’t in their social class.

Even though it wasn’t the sufficient apology he deserved, I whispered, “I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry about.”

“But—”

Rev shook his head. “You’re not your parents, Annabel.”

“I know.”

“Good.” He reached around to get his wallet out of his pants. After tossing out some bills, he grinned at me. “I think it’s time you went to your first carnival.”

“Seriously?”

“Sure.”

“But since I’m still healing, I can’t ride anything.”

“We can still walk around and take in the sights.”

I had to admit the prospect definitely excited me. “Are you sure we have time?”

Rev smiled. “We’ll make time.”

I laughed. “Okay, let’s do it!”

We made our way out of the diner, looked both ways before hurrying across the highway, and then inched our way up the line to the ticket booth.

Once we got inside, I was momentarily overwhelmed by the crowd. So many strangers. So many strange men. In spite of the heat, a chill passed over my skin.

As if he could sense my apprehension, Rev drew me close against him. “Anytime you want to leave, you just tell me.”