Primal Law (Alpha Pack #1)(67)

Jax snorted. "I'll bet he didn't last long."

"Just about a New York minute. Honestly, I haven't had too many boyfriends, or even second dates for that matter." She had no idea how happy that made him as she studied him curiously. "What about you? I can't imagine you've had too many dry spells in the female department."

"You'd be surprised," he murmured. "I don't let people in easily, and the one time I did before you ended in disaster."

There. Now he was committed. If she hated him afterward, so be it.

"What happened?"

"The ambush I told you about, the one six months ago?" She nodded and somehow he found the courage to reveal the truth. "It was my fault. I'd fallen head over heels for Beryl, or thought I had. Looking back I can see that I was blinded by lust, pretty much thinking only with my cock."

Kira let the comment pass, expression serious, and guessed, "She betrayed you."

"In the worst way possible." God, he didn't want to talk about this. "We'd been seeing each other a few weeks when she revealed that she knew what I was. She had some special abilities of her own, which is how she claimed to have figured me out. I didn't question it. I was just relieved not to have to lie about myself."

"Had she known about you all along, before you met?"

"Yes. I didn't know she was a plant, and that her job was specifically to ensnare me, gain my trust."

"What was her ability? Who was she working for?"

"She was a witch practicing the dark arts. As to her contact, we've never been able to find out who was behind the ambush. All we know is Beryl's goal was to integrate herself here, gaining our trust and learning our secrets, like the fact that silver can kill us. She and her contact planted false information about a family being held by vampires, so we scheduled a rescue op. I trusted her. That night, the ugly bastard down in Block T and his murderous comrades were waiting for us. Taking us out was like shooting fish in a barrel," he said hoarsely.

"How did she know about the existence of Alpha Pack in the first place?"

"That's a question we've all asked. If one of us had been a traitor, then Beryl wouldn't have needed to pass along information and set us up. So that theory is out."

"But one of you might have let it slip by accident," she speculated.

"Yeah, that's possible."

"I'm so sorry." Laying a hand over his, she stared intently into his eyes. "Is there any chance at all she wasn't involved? Do you know for sure she's the one who sold you guys out?"

"Oh, there's no question. She was there, in the aftermath, laughing as five of us lay dead-Terry, Micah, Jonas, Ari, and Nix. I can't describe the horror of knowing what I'd done to my team." The agony was almost unbearable. "The building was on fire and I used the last of my strength to throw her into the flames. I can still hear her screaming."

His lover swallowed hard. "She's dead?"

"Yeah."

"I'd say good, except it might have been useful to keep her alive and force her to give up who was calling the shots."

"Another idiot move," he admitted. "I should've used my gift as a Timebender to go back and warn my team of the ambush. A few minutes were all we needed. But I was in shock, running on nothing but rage, and I reacted, using up what little strength I had left. Now we may never know."

Unless they try again.

Shoving away the overwhelming guilt, he looked down at his lap, where Chup had curled up and fallen asleep. Sucking his thumb. There was proof that sometimes all a seemingly vicious creature needed was a little TLC. Too bad that wasn't always the solution.

"So you can really bend time, go back and live something over again?"

"Yes."

"Wow." She thought about that. "Can you go back to when you were ten and beat up the school bully who kept tormenting you? Stuff like that?"

He laughed at the idea. "Wouldn't that be nice? But no, I can't jump around. I'm not a human time machine. I can bend it enough to gain back the previous few minutes, and that's all."

"Huh. Well, that's still pretty cool. Sort of like that movie where the prince guy uses his knife filled with magic sand to go back in time. Only you don't need anything but yourself."

"Right." But the one instance where it would've done the most good, when he could've saved his team, he'd screwed up his chance. "I can't use the gift, though, except in the direst of circumstances."

"Why not?"

"For the same reason Nick rarely tells anyone what he sees happening in the future. Because every little thing a person does to interfere with that future affects those around us, and those we haven't even met, in ways we can't possibly know until it's too late."

"That makes sense," she said. "It just seems like a waste."

"It's not a waste that one time you really need it." Except if you f**k up and don't use it.

"True."

They fell silent for a few minutes, enjoying each other's company. Or at least he enjoyed hers as much as he could, knowing he didn't deserve to be happy.

"Why don't we hand off Chup to Sariel to babysit while we're gone, instead of Mac?" Kira suggested. "I just realized Mac might be with us tonight."