Overcoming Fear (Growing Pains #2)(41)

She pretended not to notice last night’s hastily made voodoo doll as she held her chin up and walked to the shower with purpose. She would beat this hurt and be there for Sean, as a friend should. As she would do for Kate or Jasmine.

“Krista?! What are you doing?!”

Ben was looking at her aghast. He quickly shielded his eyes.

She registered a draft.

She marched back into her room with purpose, then returned wearing a robe. She probably needed to continue to focus on the details of life instead of just the big emotional stuff…

In the office she got some coffee, did some work, and went to Sean’s office. Her neck was getting sore from holding her chin up, but dang it, she would be happy for him if it killed her. She would rebuild their friendship and get over these failed hopes. So there!

Sean had a polo shirt on that showed those glorious pecs and big broad shoulders. Krista salivated, as she always would, and didn’t feel badly about it. She would be friendly, and only friendly. Like in the beginning. She would not touch him inappropriately, or get caught staring at any of his bulges.

“Hey Captain,” she said with a smile as she walked in.

He looked up and his face went from pleased, to confused, to a frown. “Hey, Krista. Anything wrong?”

Anything wrong? Had she gotten so tired and jaded with work that when she smiled people thought she was about to unload a nine-millimeter?

“No. Just thought I would pop in and say hello. Haven’t properly talked to you in a while.”

“Oh,” Sean said, confusion evident. “You seem happy.”

“Yeah, you know, tired but happy. Can’t let life keep you down.” Was the thumbs-up absolutely needed?

She got another frown for that comment, or possibly the nerd flag above her head. His eyes probed hers, like he sensed a trap.

She laughed at him. “Is it so rare to see me in a good mood?”

He slowly shook his head, still trying to figure out what had changed. Little did he know it was her trying to change for him. If left up to her real desires, she would be throwing something at his head and keying his car.

“You ready for our meeting?” he asked with a semblance of normalcy.

“Been ready. Still have a mountain of work, but I sent another list of requests to my dear friend Mr. Montgomery, so we’ll see how that works out.”

“The big test, huh?”

“Exactly. And seriously a test, because I could have sent it to anyone to do, but I am following protocol, so we’ll see. I almost hope he f’s-up so I can yell at him.”

Sean smiled. This time it was genuine. He was coming back, slowly.

There was a beat where neither knew what to say. The silence lengthened. It turned out the reconciliation wasn’t going as easily as Krista had expected. Apparently the bridge over the great divide had a lot of stones.

“Well, anyway,” she said. No sense building it all at once. The mortar needed to set on the first pass. “Just thought I would say hi. I need to get back to the grindstone, as it were.”

“Sure, Krista. No problem.” Sean hadn’t looked away.

She winked at him, laughed at herself, and headed out, passing Ben on his way in. She gave him a smile, a hello, and a high-five. She hadn’t seen the guy in forever it seemed like—well, except for the na**d incident earlier.

He looked just as confused by her change in behavior as Sean did.

“Jesus. Can’t a girl be happy without everyone thinking she’s ready to jump off the Golden Gate?”

Ben just stared after her.

She made sure to walk around the company more often that day. She visited Marcus, who asked who her new booty-call was. Judy asked a similar question before asking her opinion on some things, and Camille in Research ventured a few words.

Krista also went to the break room more often to get her face out there. She chatted with Tommy, who was still with that girlfriend, and said hello and chatted with as many people as she could. All of it was to try for normalcy and social etiquette, but also because she wanted people to like her so Mr. Montgomery couldn’t keep alive any rumors of her being a bitch. So far it was going well, because no one liked Mr. Montgomery already, so they wouldn’t want to believe anything he said.

The next day was Friday and she had nothing to do for the weekend. Stupid Jasmine met some idiot, and Kate was on another date. The girls’ advice to find someone of her own was great and all, but doing that without a wingman was not going to happen.

It was four o’clock when she massaged her neck and looked at the clock. She was spent. Her work was an uphill battle all the way, and she barely had a handle on it. The problem was, she could barely focus anymore. Her eyes were bleary and her brain was fuzzy. In a wild impulse, she decided to duck out early. If anyone had a problem with it, they were welcome to fire her.

She’d probably be relieved.

She was already downtown and she had nowhere to be, so she figured she would go shopping. That finished, and after a couple cute items were purchased, she went to the nearest bar that looked halfway decent and had a beer. Alone. Like the loser she had turned into.

It was then she saw it—a flyer with the same logo she had seen on Sean’s computer a couple times when she’d asked him about work items. She’d never really given it much thought at the time, being that it was an email and she was half-afraid it was more work, but now, seeing the same image in a bar…well, that was odd, now wasn’t it. That couldn’t have anything to do with their work load.