Overcoming Fear (Growing Pains #2)(38)

“What?” she asked in confusion. “I’m not saying spending time, as in, like, you know. I’m just saying hanging out. Like you and Ray. Or me and Ben. You know, chums.”

There was a silent beat, then he said, “No. No one knows. I think it’s probably better that way.”

Sean’s words were clipped and precise. It was not something he wanted to discuss. It was a book he wanted shut.

Krista lowered her head back to the chopping board. She got that he didn’t want to share intimacy. She’d shut him down physically twice now. Plus, she just dumped a whole lot of baggage on his doorstep with stories from the past. But the fact that he didn’t want anyone to know they were friends was a jolt. Keeping this hush-hush, as innocent as it was, meant he thought he was doing something wrong. It meant he was hiding her from everyone, like she was an embarrassing little secret.

Suddenly she just wanted to go home. She didn’t want to play on this emotional battlefield anymore. She had known plenty of bosses who hung out with their subordinates, and he wasn’t even her boss. Christ, he had sex with a co-worker, but he was worried about being friends?

“Krista, I just think people would get the wrong idea. I have a reputation, you know? I would hate for those kinds of rumors to be spread about you.”

She shrugged, “No problem. I hadn’t said anything before now because I hadn’t thought it was a big deal. Continuing not to say anything is equally not a big deal.” She marveled at how light her voice sounded. Maybe she should be the actor.

Sean didn’t say anything else, and Krista didn’t look up to see his reaction. He turned on some music, and they made the rest of the dinner with light words and small talk. He made chicken soup, which turned out to be the best chicken soup Krista had ever tasted. She said as much.

They were on the couch at that point, watching sports highlights. It wasn’t something Krista ever cared to watch, but she also didn’t care enough to get him to change the channel. She wasn’t a big TV watcher anyway.

Sean looked over at her with a small smile and a thank you. His eyes were soft. He obviously felt sorry for their conversation earlier. It didn’t change the fact that it was true. That he was hiding his friendship with her. And one thing was for sure, Krista was not okay with being anyone’s dirty little secret.

Speaking of dirty little secrets-- “What ever happened to Ben’s painting, by the way?”

Sean looked up from his bowl with guilty eyes. “I… haven’t put it up yet. I need to clear a space.”

Krista looked down at her soup. What she wanted to say was: I bet you would have it up if it didn’t have anything to do with me. “Oh.”

“I want to move the furniture around and everything.”

“Sure. Makes sense.”

Sean left it, uncomfortably, at that. Krista finished her soup.

Words that needed to be said weren’t. Explanations were not forthcoming. Krista’s heart started to sink, as it did so often in Sean’s company. This game was starting to get old. He’d been after her whole hog until he learned more about her, and now he was driving distance between them while trying to keep her a secret. It was weird and messed up and so unfair.

Although, with Krista’s life, it was par for the course. She had no idea why she was surprised anymore.

Chapter Ten

A week passed in a haze of work, thankfully leaving no time for any more uncomfortable and shaming dinners. Kate was lightening the load dramatically, but still, she was only one girl. What made it worse was that she got “help” from her research department that a monkey wouldn’t accept. Appealing for help from John only landed her in hot water, John making the point that since she’d so graciously acknowledged he couldn’t get proper work out of them, that she could. Right?

His smile had cleverly hid a razor blade.

Monday morning, more than a week after the uncomfortable dinner with Sean, after which they parted ways amid thick silences and wary looks, Krista had just finished a depressing meeting with Mr. Montgomery, in which she tried to shame him, push him, and then finally threatened him with the knowledge that she was the research star at the moment, and he was barely hanging on to his job, she’d slunk into Marcus with post-meeting gossip.

Strangely, Marcus was quiet. It was very uncharacteristic of him. He was, instead, looking with intense focus at his computer.

“Are you sick?” Krista asked as she approached.

He jumped about ten feet. “Geegee, cripes, sneak up on a guy...”

He only spared her a glance, and then turned back to the screen.

“Well, I was going to give you some gossip first-hand, and also look busy and important, but if you want to miss the goods...”

He gave her the index finger, implying she should wait, finished reading, then turned to her with a smile. “I was just finishing the account of what the meeting sounded like from outside the office. Fill me in!”

“How--” she looked at his screen and saw it was an email from some name she didn’t recognize. “It wasn’t nearly that bad—but I did threaten him with termination.”

“I heard! Yelled it more like! How’d he take it?”

Krista shook her head, completely embarrassed. Kate and Jasmine hadn’t been kidding at the barbecue, she tended to get a little…riled up when things didn’t go her way in a pressured setting. “He…wasn’t pleased…”