Overcoming Fear (Growing Pains #2)(33)

The car was moving. Not speeding, but definitely headed toward home. The sooner she made it to her bed the better.

“She’s my sister,” Sean said, his deep voice next to her ear.

He didn’t owe her that explanation. For last night he should have drawn it out, tortured her with it, but she was thankful he didn’t.

It also made sense now that she thought about it. Same cheekbones, same noble features, same vivid eyes even though a different color.

Krista’s mind slid from that thought and settled, instead, on him. She gladly took the warmth his body was offering. She was aware of his soft breath, feeling his arms around her, knowing that he must have gotten her from that post. He might be all wrong for her romantically, but she had come to depend on him. Her trust in him was solid, and it felt good. Being with him felt good.

She closed her eyes and focused on his voice, not moving from his grasp. “She’s here from Arizona. She works for a magazine and wanted to write about the Folsom Street Fair. I said I would go with her...”

He seemed like he wanted to say something else, but fell silent.

They rode the rest of the way in silence, his arms never loosening their grip, his face never far from hers. Sean’s body heat was like an electric blanket on a snowy night. His warm breath on her ear made her shiver. She snuggled closer.

Too soon the car slowed and stopped. While Krista knew this would have to end sometime, that she would have to go back to reality, she didn’t want it to happen this soon.

“Do you want company for a while?” he asked quietly.

Grateful, she said, “Yes, please.”

Sean basically unrolled Krista from the car, allowing her to cling to him. He said goodbye to his sister, then shepherded Krista in front of him into the house.

“Thanks for grabbing me,” Krista said in a small voice. “I don’t know what possessed me to do that. I am not a pain type of girl.”

“Overcoming the fear of the past is a noble idea. I think it was the execution that was the issue.” Sean slid next to her on the couch.

He left a little distance between their bodies so she would be comfortable. Krista could tell he didn’t want to. She also didn’t need him to. She moved toward him and he responded by immediately putting his arms around her.

Then came dawning. “Wait--how did you know about my past?”

“Kate filled me in somewhat.”

“What? Why?”

“I think she was worried about you.”

But why would she tell him? She had kept the worst of it from even Jasmine. And Kate only knew because she was Krista’s roommate in college, and actually had to save her a couple times when she walked into a horror scene.

Why would she spill to Krista’s almost boss and the man she was struggling to keep at arm‘s length? The very man she told Krista to stay away from.

“I don’t think she knew the half of it, though. Or at least she didn’t tell me...” Sean said somberly, cutting through Krista’s mental tirade.

She looked up to meet his worried eyes. His perfect face was a mask of sorrow and concern. Krista felt the last of her resolve weaken, letting tears come to her eyes in a gush.

No, Kate didn’t know the half of it. No one did.

Except, probably, Jim’s other girlfriends.

Before she knew what was happening, the memories of the past were tumbling out of her mouth, one pile of misery at a time. The mornings she woke up tied to the bed, recoiling from a maddened, lust-filled Jim holding some sexual weapon he wanted to try. To the nights she was drugged and misused for the fun of it. To the slaps and occasional punches to places on her body easily covered up.

Then to the constant emotional pain. To the lies, the deceit. Telling her she wasn’t pretty enough. Making excuses for her in public. Leaving parties with other girls. Flirting in front of her. Hushing her when she tried to speak. Corralling and cornering her spirit until she no longer had one of her own.

Then how it all started. The nice words. The charm. The practiced lines. He was a dangerous boy--daring, attractive, irresistible. He said nice things, he bought her dinners, he took her out, he paid attention to her like no one ever had before. She still had her head about her when she realized he was a womanizer. No problem, she thought, I can change him.

When things went horribly wrong, when reality set in, she was already lost.

She told Sean how she finally felt something snap when she walked in on him with another woman. It wasn’t a bad break, but a good one. A dawning. An awakening. It finally prompted her to take a stand and she left him. She got beat for it, of course, but that didn’t stop her resolve. This time, it only strengthened it.

Her calling the cops after he was through abusing her sent a message.

Walking away was the proudest moment in her life so far. It gave her strength.

When she was done she felt purged. She actually felt better for the first time in a long time. All the dank, dark places were opened up to allow air and sunlight in. They were still musty, scary places, but now, with effort, they could heal. She wasn’t the first to endure such treatment, and she wasn’t the only one to get away, but it didn’t change the glory of the achievement.

In the sudden quiet of the room, Sean, in a quiet, strangled voice, said, “I didn’t realize.” He paused for a second to get his bearings. “I may not have always been the perfect gentleman, and I certainly have been a downright pig on a few occasions, but I have never made a woman suffer. I have never hurt a woman in a way that--” his words cut off in a hitch. His arm convulsed protectively.