Overcoming Fear (Growing Pains #2)(32)

Krista decided, in her drunken haze, that she absolutely had this whole thing all wrong. She had never really tried this sort of thing with someone who wasn’t hell bent on torturing her, and possibly her experiences had just been bad. These people weren’t afraid. Hell, they were enjoying themselves. One person looked ready to cl**ax.

And then he did cl**ax. Loudly.

“Have you ever done this, Sean?” Krista asked. He was leaning against the barricade next to her.

Sean looked behind him. Krista followed his gaze to the gorgeous woman he was with.

“Oh right, it’s a secret. I get it.” Krista nodded, watching another person who had just cl**axed walk away. “Well, when in doubt, give it a go!”

Krista was inside the enclosure before she knew what was going on. She took her money out and had a stare off with the next person in line. She won. Probably they thought she was crazy, and chose, quite rightly, not to mess with her.

“Are you f**king serious?” Kate yelled after her.

“Face the fears.” She pumped her fist in the air as she tied herself in.

“Have you done this before?” the flogger asked. He was heavy set and had a kind voice. His top concern was her, which fed her courage.

“No. Well...uh, not…we’ll stick with no.”

He nodded. “I’ll go light and easy then increase, okay? At any point you don’t like it, all you have to do is open your hands, okay?” He showed her the open hand signal.

Krista nodded, determination on her face. She would meet this fear and put it behind her. She might even like it without an enraged boyfriend at the helm. It might be a door that opened into some new experiences.

Her brain was still a bit soggy as she looked over at her group. Jasmine was talking to the beautiful woman, Kate was talking to Sean while looking at some hot guy passing by, and Sean was looking at her. Worriedly.

It did look bad, Krista knew that, but the guy in charge was obviously a professional, so she wasn’t worried. Well, not as worried as Sean looked, anyway.

“Okay, here we go.” The flogging man got into position.

Krista felt the first kiss of the whip. It felt like someone touching her jeans, nothing more. It wasn’t that bad. The leather thong wasn’t great—she got scared pretty quick when she was tied up, usually because she had woken up that way without giving consent, but she calmed herself with deep breaths. She had a fail-safe option. She could stop this at any time. She could yell or open her hand. She was safe.

She felt the next strip. Then the next. She kept reminding herself that this was her choice. She wanted to be here. She could get out at any time. She had the power, here, and was temporarily giving it up. Just temporarily.

She smiled and winked over at the girls, the whole group watching her now. Only Sean still looked worried. Worried and poised. He looked like he was about to spring into action. It occurred to Krista that he was being protective.

It also occurred to her that in all the time she was ever with Jim, he was often possessive, but not protective. She was about to ponder that further when the next leather strip fell. It wasn’t a kiss at all-- unless the kisser had fangs.

The next fell, then the next. They were falling faster and landing harder, scorching her skin. The pain lanced through the fog of her alcohol-abused brain. Then the memories started. Struggling against the rope. The rage. The pain. Then the harsh sex that followed. Or maybe no sex at all. Or maybe a beating. Or verbal abuse.

Jim always switched it up. He always found new ways to vent his anger, or cull his sexual drive. He always found new combinations to make her squirm, realizing the unpredictability was what scared her the most.

Krista’s throat closed up as the tears leaked out of her eyes. She looked over at the group, looking for help. Blue-gray eyes met vivid green. She silently pleaded for him to help her, to save her. She couldn’t find her voice through her fog of fear. She was scared to scream out, to beg, lest more pain would follow.

In her panic she forgot the signal. She forgot where she was, who she was. She only knew panic. Panic and memories—memories of why she hated forced BDSM. Of a girl with no power of her own; no control over her world; no safe word to make it all stop. No say when it started in the first place.

Chapter Eight

The next thing Krista knew she was being carried. She heard herself whimper and felt strong arms constrict around her. She was put into the back of a car and realized it was Sean’s Beemer. Sean’s large body crawled in with her. A blond head sat into the driver’s seat and started the car.

Krista calmed herself. She took large gulp of air. She found her power again. She found her control. She forced herself out of the clutch of distant fear, and forced the memories back to their corner. She blackened Jim’s face before she put the lid on the Jim box. She’d done it a million times. More than a million. She’d had to get great at clearing her head and finding her personal power to have the courage to leave him.

She took a final, cleansing, ragged breath.

“I’m okay,” she said in a wispy voice, looking at Sean, who was shutting the door and putting one protective arm around her.

His handsome face was screwed up in worry. He looked at the front seat and back.

“I’m okay,” Krista said again. “I didn’t mean to interrupt your date. I’m sorry. I just panicked is all. I’m fine, really.”