Overcoming Fear (Growing Pains #2)(27)

“Shall we?” she asked, her voice distant and hoarse.

Sean started, not realizing he was staring at her like a poor man at a treasure map, and nodded, taking two big steps toward home before stopping himself. He waited for her to catch up, and then kept pace back to the path that would take her home.

“Okay, well...” Krista said, taking a step toward her house.

“If you aren’t doing anything, how about dinner?”

Krista could have sworn he sounded nervous. For a man with the ability to drip charm from his every word, he sounded like a lost little boy. But then, he might have been worried she’d freak out again. He wasn’t the only one.

She just shrugged, “Your house or mine?”

“Mine.”

They went back to his house and called for Thai food. Neither of them wanted to talk about work so instead they sat on the couch and debated which movie to watch. They finally chose an action movie. It was free, it was on, and it didn’t take any brain power.

Throughout the movie, Krista could tell he wasn’t paying attention. Something was distracting him. He didn’t even notice her watching him, which wasn’t usual. She heard his phone vibrate a couple times, and after he checked the caller, he silenced it.

As far as she knew, there were two big issues in his life at that moment. One was getting the account, and the other was Monica badmouthing and stalking him. Being that Sean would never silence a call from Tory, and also his jaw clenched when he saw the name, she figured it was the latter.

“It really bothers you, huh?” she asked.

“What’s that?” he asked, snapping out of his current reverie. His eyes were a vivid green. Piercing. They pinned her to the couch. Heat rose and spiraled out of that look. Krista’s body quivered in response, sweat pricking her brow, wetness in her crotch. Something was going on with Sean emotionally. Intense waves of desire seemed to be crashing over him. He looked at Krista not like he needed saving, but like he wanted to drag her in with him. To drown her in whatever he was feeling. The urge to let him take her was so strong she barely stopped herself from opening her legs and begging for it.

“M-Monica,” she stammered, starting to feel slightly uncomfortable.

Sean’s eyes caught her stammer and parted lips, misread the cause, and his strength of will magnified. She saw his hunger plainly. His want.

Danger! Her brain screamed.

Flashbacks of her life in Seattle came crashing down. Like that cold ocean wave, she was unexpectedly dragged under the icy waters of memory. Her ex-boyfriend Jim was as good as they came at enchanting women. Better than Sean. Sean at least had a human core. He was a gentleman when it counted. There was a goodness about him that not even his sexual exploits could tarnish.

Jim had no goodness. At heart he was a mean, emotionally train-wrecked, manipulative bastard who hid his true self behind a glamorous, charming façade. Before Krista ever got to know the real him, she was reeled in by his charisma. He was older, out of college—he’d lied when he said he’d gone--which made him seem more sophisticated. Besides that, though, he just had a way about him. The way he looked at her, the way he whispered her name, the way his body leaned over her and claimed her. Not to mention tall, dark and incredibly handsome with a hint of danger.

In the beginning she’d thought of him as a reformed bad boy. He was irresistible, and everyone who knew her was jealous that she got him. That was in the beginning. That was when he was trying to woo her, when he was being gentle, but just that little bit wild. He was desperate to have her, but still gave her the control. He was mad to throw her under him and take her, but waited for the green light to do so.

And it was exciting when it happened the first couple times. When she’d finally given in to him. When he loved her with all his heart, treated her well, and said he’d be with her forever. She liked getting down and dirty with him, doing it all over the city, waking up to a sexual maniac who was just that little bit too rough, but still yielded to her if she pushed back.

It was after she was firmly under his thumb that the sadism came to the forefront, and he took all the control away. He held it all. With his emotional manipulation and physical abuse, he trapped and held her in a prison of fear. That was when he advanced on her even when she didn’t want it. When he threw her under him even when she was crying from the pain of his version of foreplay. It was when he struck her down, then took her.

It all started from a look slightly unhinged. A look off kilter. A look like Sean was giving her.

The memories coalesced with the present, Jim’s liquid black eyes overlaying Sean’s vibrant green, squeezing out the primal fear she’d thought she buried too deep to find, but that found its way up for the second time that day. Sean had gotten too close, and now she was in too deep. She was in a position to be masticated again; chewed up and spit out at will.

Her chest tightened up. Suddenly she couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t relax.

Bottom line, she wasn’t recovered where it really mattered. She was still that lost little girl who needed to be picked up, hugged, and kept safe from the monsters of the world. From the guys that would use her up and spit her out. From the Jims.

From the Seans.

She wanted to go running back to Paul. To the safety of not feeling.

She forced herself to keep her head calm. She didn’t want to unlock Sean’s anger. She didn’t want him to use his substantial muscle on her. She was sure he might not want to hurt her, but Jim always said he didn’t, either. Sometimes it was best to keep quiet, accept all blame, and wait for it to pass.