Midnight Sun (Twilight #1.5)(84)

"Good," Bella said looking relieved. "But then again... that doesn't really mean anything does it... He's still out there... only in this book is he being taken care of."

"We'll just have to make sure to tell someone about this guy," Jacob said.

I saw the plan in his head. It wasn't exactly what I wanted, it did not satisfy my craving for brutality, but I could see that it was the right thing.

"Aw," Jacob said, he wouldn't have minded a little brutality.

"I'll show you where to find him," I said.

"Let's go."

He grabbed his black bag on the way. I would have preferred a more aggressive form of sedation - like a cracked skull - but I would let Carlisle do this his way.

We took my car. Alice was still on the steps. She grinned and waved as we drove away. I saw that she had looked ahead for me; we would have no difficulties.

The trip was very short on the dark, empty road. I left off my headlights to keep from attracting attention. It made me smile to think how Bella would have reacted to this pace. I'd already been driving slower than usual - to prolong my time with her - when she'd objected.

Bella shuddered and Jacob laughed.

Carlisle was thinking of Bella, too.

I didn't foresee that she would be so good for him. That's unexpected. Perhaps this was somehow meant to be. Perhaps it serves a higher purpose. Only...

Bella smiled at that... yes she really liked Carlisle, too.

He pictured Bella with snow cold skin and blood red eyes, and then flinched away from the image.

Yes. Only. Indeed. Because how could there be any good in destroying something so pure and lovely?

I glowered into the night, all the joy of the evening destroyed by his thoughts.

Edward deserves happiness. He's owed it. The fierceness of Carlisle's thoughts surprised me. There must be a way.

"Oh, there will be a way... I'll make sure of that," Bella said firmly.

I wished I could believe that - either one. But there was no higher purpose to what was happening to Bella. Just a vicious harpy, an ugly, bitter fate who could not bear for Bella to have the life she deserved.

I did not linger in Port Angeles. I took Carlisle to the dive where the creature named Lonnie was drowning his disappointment with his friends - two of whom had already passed out. Carlisle could see how hard it was for me to be so close - for me to hear the monster's thoughts and see his memories, memories of Bella mixed in with less fortunate girls who no one could save now.

Bella's lip trembled as she thought of those poor girls.

My breathing sped. I clenched the steering wheel.

Go, Edward, he told me gently. I'll make the rest of them safe. You go back to Bella.

It was exactly the right thing to say. Her name was the only distraction that could mean anything to me now.

"And I'm sure he knew it," Bella said. Carlisle seemed to have a very good understanding of his son.

I left him in the car, and ran back to Forks in a straight line through the sleeping forest. It took less time than the first journey in the speeding car. It was just minutes later that I scaled the side of her house and slid her window out of my way.

I sighed silently with relief. Everything was just as it should be. Bella was safe in her bed, dreaming, her wet hair tangled like seaweed across the pillow.

But, unlike most nights, she was curled into a small ball with the covers stretched taut around her shoulders. Cold, I guessed. Before I could settle into my usual seat, she shivered in her sleep, and her lips trembled.

I thought for a brief moment, and then I eased out into the hallway, exploring another part of her house for the first time.

Charlie's snores were loud and even.

Jacob shivered; he had gotten used to the stalker vampire, but it seemed more unnerving now hearing Edward mention Charlie sleeping.

I could almost catch the edge of his dream. Something with the rush of water and patient expectation...fishing, maybe?

Bella and Jacob both chuckled at that. That really seemed like a dream Charlie would have.

There, at the top of the stairs, was a promising looking cupboard. I opened it hopefully, and found what I was looking for. I selected the thickest blanket from the tiny linen closet, and took it back into her room. I would return it before she woke, and no one would be the wiser.

Holding my breath, I cautiously spread the blanket over her; she didn't react to the added weight. I returned to the rocking chair.

While I waited anxiously for her to warm up, I thought of Carlisle, wondering where he was now. I knew his plan would go smoothly - Alice had seen that.

Thinking of my father made me sigh - Carlisle gave me too much credit. I wished I was the person he thought me to be. That person, the one who deserved happiness, might hope to be worthy of this sleeping girl. How different things would be if I could be that Edward.

"And what makes you so sure you're not that Edward?" Bella questioned, knowing there would be no answer (she was talking to a book after all).

As I pondered this, a strange, uncalled image filled my head.

For one moment, the hag-faced fate I'd imagined, the one who sought Bella's destruction, was replaced by the most foolish and reckless of angels. A guardian angel -  something Carlisle's version of me might have had. With a heedless smile on her lips, her sky-colored eyes full of mischief, the angel formed Bella in such a fashion that there was no way that I could possibly overlook her. A ridiculously potent scent to demand my attention, a silent mind to enflame my curiosity, a quiet beauty to hold my eyes, a selfless soul to earn my awe. Leave out the natural sense of self-preservation - so that Bella could bear to be near me - and, finally, add a wide streak of appallingly bad luck.