Midnight Sun (Twilight #1.5)(207)

I knew what was going to come next. The borrowed time was lessening. Instantly, I became increasingly nervous.

"And you'll like Jacksonville so much," she jabbered while Bella stared at her vacantly. "I was a little bit worried when Phil started talking about Akron, what with the snow and everything, because you know how I hate the cold, but now Jacksonville! It's always sunny, and the humidity really isn't that bad. We found the cutest house, yellow, with white trim, and a porch just like in an old movie, and this huge oak tree, and it's just a few minutes from the ocean, and you'll have your own bathroom --"

"Wait, Mom!" Bella interrupted. "What are you talking about? I'm not going to Florida. I live in Forks."

My heart, my cold, dead, unbeating heart...I swear, it just started beating again. She wanted to stay in a place she hated, and I knew it was because of me.

What? Maybe she doesn't understand. Renée smiled. "But you don't have to anymore, silly," she laughed. "Phil will be able to be around so much more now... we've talked about it a lot, and what I'm going to do is trade off on the away games, half the time with you, half the time with him."

"Mom." Bella hesitated for a second. Automatically I tried to hear her mind, the space between us silent as ever before she spoke. "I want to live in Forks. I'm already settled in at school, and I have a couple of girlfriends" -- suddenly I was in Renée's vision. It's because of him, I know it. -- "and Charlie needs me. He's just all alone up there, and he can't cook at all."

I wasn't sure why, but it was clear that she didn't want to go to Florida with Renée, and I was all for that plan. Even though it wasn't a good plan.

Forks...Renée's thoughts were babbling inarticulately. "You want to stay in Forks?" She spluttered.

Again, I was in her vision, my face tense with the conversation. This boy...Does she love him, too? Still...Forks. Insane.

"Why?"

"I told you -- school, Charlie -- " she shrugged "ouch!"

Bella - how do I comfort her? Her hand fluttered uselessly over Bella's body. Her eyes narrowed in on an un-bandaged spot and patted lightly. Seriously, though - school? Charlie? I don't believe it.

"Bella, honey, you hate Forks," she stated firmly.

"It's not so bad."

Well, that wasn't the response I was hoping for.

Oh, come on. Renée scoffed. Again, I saw my face flash in front of her eyes before she turned back to Bella. "Is it this boy?" she whispered.

Bella opened her mouth and then closed it. What was she thinking?

"He's part of it," Bella finally spoke nonchalantly. "So, have you had a chance to talk with Edward?"

"Yes." He's quite mysterious... "And I want to talk to you about that."

How stupid to even consider someone approving of me for their daughter.

"What about?" Her lips pressed together tightly.

"I think that boy is in love with you," Renée alleged, keeping her voice low.

"I think so, too."

Despite the situation we were under, I grinned at the memory of our time in the meadow, the first time I confessed my love for her.

"And how do you feel about him?" She was pushing for details, which means Bella will have to lie. I cringed internally at that thought. She was a horrible liar.

A small gush of air swept in and out of Bella's lungs before she spoke. "I'm pretty crazy about him."

This made me happy. I nearly took her life, yet, she was still 'crazy about' me.

"Well, he seems very nice, and, my goodness, he's incredibly good-looking, but you're so young, Bella..." I was hoping that I wouldn't have to have 'the talk' with her until she was older. She sighed. What was I expecting? She is seventeen after all.

"I know that, Mom. Don't worry about it. It's just a crush."

Crush? Just a crush? Her words burned more than my thirst. Deep down I knew she was perpetrating a farce, but still, just like at her house before we left for Phoenix, the words caught me off guard.

Crush...I can handle that. Then it's not too serious after all. "That's right," she agreed.

Then she sighed and glanced guiltily over her shoulder at the big, round clock on the wall above my head. I need to get home...Phil. He'll be worried if I don't answer the phone.

Seeing the time for myself I was disheartened that my time with her was slowly passing by. Sooner than I'd like, I would have to leave her forever. Was I brave enough? Did I have enough will power...enough strength?

"Do you need to go?" Bella interrupted my reverie.

"Phil's supposed to call in a little while... I didn't know you were going to wake up..."

"No problem, Mom." Bella said indifferently. "I won't be alone."

That's right. I'll be here. She was just so soft and vulnerable. It seemed foolhardy to let her out of my sight, where anything could happen to her. And yet, the worst things that could happen to her would result from being with me. Deep down, I wished that she wasn't better off being away from me.

I bet you won't...not with Edward keeping an eye on you. "I'll be back soon. I've been sleeping here, you know."