Midnight Sun (Twilight #1.5)(204)

She sighed at my bad humor and I could see her wince slightly at the pain it caused. Her eyes finally left mine to roam over her broken and mangled body.

"How bad am I?" She asked, curious.

This time I sighed. The damage was extensive.

"You have a broken leg, four broken ribs, some cracks in your skull, bruises covering every inch of your skin, and you've lost a lot of blood. They gave you a few transfusions. I didn't like it -- it made you smell all wrong for a while." I took in a deep breath at the luxurious scent that now filled the small room, letting it sting my throat with the pleasurable burning sensation.

"That must have been a nice change for you," she half smiled.

She had it all wrong though. To imagine her without the palatable scent was almost unbearable, like I had drank all the goodness from her body and it was being replaced by some cheap imitation.

"No, I like how you smell."

"How did you do it?" Her voice was strained. I knew what she was asking.

Many memories stirred from that horrible morning. Blood was coming out of her in torrents, flooding the floor. The blood...how did I stop? I remembered the pleasure and the pain that consumed my body at just the mere thought of her warm blood in my mouth, my burning throat with the accompanied obsessive longing finally being quenched. The thought tore at every nerve in my body. The disgust I felt didn't stop me though; I still brought her wrist to my mouth and drank from her. Even when she yanked around in my grasp, thrusting against my hold, screaming, I didn't let go. I didn't even know how I did it.

"I'm not sure," there was the tiniest quiver in my voice.

Gently, I lifted her hand which was wrapped in white gauze, examining it carefully. Along with the ache that seared deep inside me, there was this new indication of what I was. A monster. A creature that should have no part in this angel's life.

Lightly caressing her hand I shivered at this sick souvenir that would always be on her wrist which made my dead heart shatter. The wires that connected her to all the monitors were just another vivid reminder on top of everything else at how fragile and breakable she was. Each passing second felt like borrowed time.

I sighed. "It was impossible... to stop," my voice was low, a whisper. But I did stop; I was able to keep her alive. "Impossible. But I did." My eyes met hers, a smile creeping up my face; a great rush of affection washing over me. "I must love you."

"Don't I taste as good as I smell?" She returned my smile.

The satisfaction...the gratifyingly warm blood in my mouth - it was beyond delicious. It coursed through my body, sweeter than life.

"Even better -- better than I'd imagined."

"I'm sorry," she apologized.

She was...sorry? Again, what was with the apologies? If it wasn't for my stupidity in the first place she wouldn't have even been in the situation to have her blood sucked by me, of all creatures. I looked up to the ceiling in exasperation before returning my gaze to her.

"Of all the things to apologize for."

"What should I apologize for?"

For a moment I was lost in desperate speculation, thoughts consuming my mind momentarily. Only one thing came to mind. "For very nearly taking yourself away from me forever."

If her life had ended that day...I shuddered...I too, would have died.

"I'm sorry," she apologized again.

"I know why you did it. It was still irrational, of course. You should have waited for me, you should have told me."

At this, I realized maybe she didn't trust me as much as I thought. She shouldn't trust me. Because of me, she was here in this hospital bed, for several days, fighting to regain consciousness.

"You wouldn't have let me go," she explained, like I should have known this.

"No," I replied in a stern tone. "I wouldn't."

She shuddered and then slightly winced. My eyes roamed over her to find the culprit of her obvious pain, my nerves being pulled tighter at her discomfort.

"Bella, what's wrong?" I pleaded

She ignored me, wanting more answers.

"What happened to James?"

James, I growled internally; the enemy being brought to the forefront of my mind.

"After I pulled him off you, Emmett and Jasper took care of him," I said with clenched teeth.

Bella needed me, I knew that, but regardless, jealousy still rippled through me at the thought that it wasn't me who got to pull him apart - it wasn't me who burned him.

Her eyebrow furrowed. "I didn't see Emmett and Jasper there."

"They had to leave the room... there was a lot of blood."

Everyone's actions that night caught me off guard; all of them behaving like there was not a single drop of blood spilled in the building. Luckily, we all have no need for oxygen.

"But you stayed," she stated with a deep fervor, her face smoothing.

"Yes, I stayed."

Obviously, I stayed. She needed me...she would have died. Preventing that was most important.

"And Alice, and Carlisle ..." she said in conjecture.

Of course they stayed, too. They consider her part of our family.

"They love you, too, you know."

"Did Alice see the tape?" She asked anxiously.

"Yes," I gritted my teeth. I remembered watching the tape through Alice's mind, the things he did to Bella - the way he taunted me on the video.