Midnight Sun (Twilight #1.5)(148)

I laughed lightly and failed to suppress a sigh.

"I've decided what I want to do, I want to hear more about you," she told me.

I could handle this, "Ask me anything" I prompted.

She paused for a moment, "Why do you do it?" she asked, curiosity flaring in her voice, "I still don't understand how you can work so hard to resist what you...are. Please don't misunderstand; of course I'm glad that you do. I just don't see why you would bother in the first place." she pointed out.

I wasn't sure how to answer this, I had to think how the right way to explain it, "That's a good question, and you are not the first to ask it. The others - the majority of our kind who are quite content with our lot - they, too, wonder at how we live. But you see, just because we've been...dealt a certain hand...it doesn't mean that we can't chose to rise above - to conquer the boundaries of a destiny that none of us wanted. To try to retain whatever essential humanity we can." I explained to her.

She didn't move, but she was still snuggled securely against me. I waited for a few moments, no sound. I was worried instantly, then realized she might be asleep, "Did you fall asleep?" I whispered in her ear.

"No." she whispered back.

"Is that all you were curious about?" I wondered.

"Not quite," she said like I should know better.

"What else do you want to know?" I asked, curious now.

"Why can you read minds - why only you? And Alice, seeing the future...why does that happen?" she whispered.

I shrugged then, not really knowing how to answer this question. I contemplated for only a second, "We don't really know. Carlisle has a theory...he believes that we all bring something of our strongest human traits with us into the next life, where they are intensified - like our minds, and our senses. He thinks that I must have already been very sensitive to the thoughts of those around me. And that Alice had some precognition, wherever she was."

I only quit speaking for a second before she had another question, "What did he bring into the next life, and the others?" she was incredibly curious, which I don't blame her for.

"Carlisle brought his compassion. Esme brought her ability to love passionately. Emmett brought his strength, Rosalie her...tenacity. Or you could all if pigheadedness," I laughed, "Jasper is very interesting. He was quite charismatic in his first life, he was able to influence those around him to see things his way. Now he is able to manipulate the emotions of those around him - calm down a room of angry people, for example, or excite a lethargic crowd, conversely. It's a very subtle gift."

She lay there, very still and quiet. Maybe she had fallen asleep. I waited for a few minutes, moving my nose up and down her neck, breathing in her fragrance once more. She finally spoke, "So where did it all start? I mean, Carlisle changed you, and then someone must have changed him, and so on..."

She was asking an impossible question. I tried to think about it logically, "Well, where did you come from? Evolution? Creation? Couldn't we have evolved in the same way as other species, predator and prey? Or, if you don't believe that all this world could have just happened on its own, which is hard for me to accept myself, is it so hard to believe that the same force that created the delicate angelfish with the shark, the baby seal and the killer whale, could create both our kinds together?" I mused.

She hesitated, "Let me get this straight - I'm the baby seal, right?" she asked, a smile in her voice.

"Right," I laughed, agreeing.

I brought my lips to her hair then. I took a deep breath of her heady scent. She was silent then, "Are you ready to sleep?" I asked, "Or do you have any more questions?"

"Only a million or two," she responded, and I grinned widely.

It felt amazing to know that she wanted to know everything about me.

"We have tomorrow, and the next day, and the next...," I promised her.

I knew from this moment on, I would never leave her side. What her fate was, I was still unsure, but as long as I stood as protector, she would stay human and in my arms.

"Are you sure you won't vanish in the morning?" she asked, seriously, "You are mythical, after all," she added playfully.

"I won't leave you," and my promise was unconditional.

"One more, then, tonight..."

I couldn't see her blush, but I could smell the blood rushing up to her face and I could hear her pulse speeding up. I was instantly curious, "What is it?"

She replied immediately, "No, forget it. I changed my mind."

What was she thinking? It was so infuriating. I groaned in her ear, letting her know my frustration, "I keep thinking it will get less frustrating, not hearing your thoughts. But it gets worse and worse." I complained.

"I'm glad you can't read my thoughts. It's bad enough that you eavesdrop on my sleep-talking," she replied, her voice acerbic.

I would have gotten down on my knees and begged her if I thought it would help, but I decided to go another route. I brought my lips to her ear and breathed in deeply and let out a light gust of air. She shivered in pleasure. I tried asking then, "Please," I begged.

She shook her head. Apparently I am not as persuasive as I thought, I decided to try another route, "If you don't tell me, I'll just assume it's something much worse than it is," I threatened.