Letting Go (Surrender Trilogy #1)(84)

“Let me,” he murmured as she began to cut into her steak. “There’s nothing more I’d like than to feed you tonight.”

She stopped, allowing him to cut her steak into bite-size portions. He dressed her potato just like she liked it and then fed her the first bite of the tender meat.

He alternated feeding her a bite and taking one of his own. They didn’t converse. Heavy silence had fallen over the couple, but they never once broke their gazes, never looked away. Dash seemed to sense the importance of tonight. There was an air of expectation, and he seemed eager to get through dinner and onto whatever it was she had planned.

She smiled to herself. She wouldn’t make him wait long. Normally they’d watch television or a movie in the living room, she curled against him while he stroked her body or hair. He said he loved simply touching her, just being with her and sharing her company.

Other nights they’d sit on his back porch with a bottle of wine and talk about his day. How Jensen was working out and Kylie was grudgingly accepting her new boss.

But tonight she planned an early bedtime. She wanted to be in his arms when she told him she loved him and then she wanted to make love to him. She wanted to be the bold one. She wanted to show him the depth of her feelings for him. She only hoped he allowed it.

“Just leave the dishes,” she said huskily when they’d finished. “I’ll clear them away later. Right now I want us to go into the bedroom.”

Dash lifted one eyebrow, his eyes going dark and smoky with desire.

“Never let it be said I denied my darling anything.”

She smiled, allowing her love to shine in her eyes. He may wonder, but tonight she’d remove all doubt. It was time. Past time to take the next step. Hold her breath and take the leap.

She held out her hand, mimicking his actions of the past when he always held out his hand for her, usually to obey one of his commands. Tonight she was issuing the demands, however shyly done.

His hands roamed over her body as they walked side by side to the bedroom. It was as if he couldn’t keep himself from touching her. Like he was as addicted to her as she was to him.

When they entered the bedroom, she led him to the bed and pushed him down until he was perched on the edge. He stared at her with blatant curiosity but remained silent, allowing her free rein.

Then she sank to her knees between his open thighs and gathered his hands in hers.

“There’s something I want to tell you, Dash. Something important. And I wanted it to be at the perfect moment. When we weren’t making love. When we weren’t so caught up in the moment because I wanted you to know how much I mean these words.”

The hope and fear in his eyes was nearly her undoing. He looked as though he was torn between the two emotions and afraid to put his faith in the outcome.

She lifted his hands to her mouth, pressing a kiss to those gentle hands.

“I love you, Dash,” she whispered. “I love you so much.”

The instant joy that flooded his eyes was all the response she needed. His shoulders sagged and he closed his eyes as if savoring the moment. When they opened, there was a sheen of moisture, shocking her with the intensity of his reaction, his emotions.

“God, Joss,” he choked out. “If you only knew how long I’ve dreamed of this moment.”

He gathered her into his arms, lifting until she was in his lap, cradled against his chest. He held her tightly as if fearing she would slip away. He pressed kisses to her head, her temple, and then turned her face to kiss her eyes, her nose, her cheeks, every inch of her skin he could cover.

“I love you too, darling. God, I love you. I love you so much I ache with it. It’s been killing me not knowing, hoping that you felt the same for me as I feel for you. Have felt for you for so very long. Are you certain, Joss? Are you ready for this?”

Anxiety crept into his gaze as he awaited her response. She smiled, allowing the full force of her own joy and relief to bleed into her expression.

“Oh yes,” she breathed. “Do you really love me, Dash? Truly?”

“Honey, if I loved you any more, I’d die with it. You have no idea how very long I’ve loved you, ached for you, wanted you with my every breath.”

“Then neither of us has to hurt any longer,” she said softly. “I’m yours, Dash. Completely and utterly yours. I always will be, if you’ll have me.”

“Have you?” he asked hoarsely, incredulously. “Honey, I’ll take you any damn way I can get you. But I want you to be sure that this is what you want. Not just me, but our relationship. My dominance. Your submission. Because if it’s not what you want long term, then it doesn’t have to be that way. There is no sacrifice too great to make for you.”

Her smile widened and tears glittered in her own eyes. “I wouldn’t change a single thing about you—us. I want you just the way you are. I want us just the way we are right now. I want this, darling. I want us. I need your dominance. I want it with my every breath. It’s a part of me now, the best part. Never change, Dash. Never feel that you have to change for me. Because I want you just the way you are.”

He crushed her to him, his breaths coming raggedly, blowing over her hair. He trembled against her as if overcome with emotion. And then he kissed her again and again, like he was starved for her love. As though he needed it as desperately as she needed his love.