If You Were Mine (The Sullivans #5)(60)

The pull of his low voice was the only thing that could possibly have gotten her stuck feet moving again. But she couldn’t breathe quite right as she moved closer and she felt her legs shaking as he shifted the baby in his arms.

Emma was perfect, and so beautiful, that Heather knew she didn’t have a prayer of stopping the tears that were coming. She hadn’t cried since she was a teenager, but the sight of the baby in Zach’s arms pulled at a part of her that was supposed to be shut down, closed off, impenetrable.

Suddenly realizing just how deep she was in the quicksand, she yanked her gaze from Zach and the baby to hand Chloe the teddy bear.

“I’m sorry, I should have said hello and congratulations first.”

“Thanks, Heather. It’s great to see you again,” Chloe said in a tired, but happy, voice.

As Chase sat down on the edge of the bed beside his wife and brushed her hair back from her face, Heather was amazed by the incredible intimacy—and unconditional joy—between the two of them.

She should have left, knew she didn’t have any right to be a part of this family for even a few more seconds, but when the baby gave a sweet little yawn in Zach’s arms, the yearning was too strong for Heather to leave just yet. “Could I hold her?”

Chloe smiled. “Of course.”

Handling the baby with surprising ease, Zach slid the warm, blanket-wrapped bundle into Heather’s arms.

The little girl opened her eyes and blinked up at Heather with perfect innocence.

“Oh my,” she said, “aren’t you pretty?”

“You’re in big trouble with this one,” Zach told his brother.

“I know,” Chase replied. “And I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

The baby immediately turned her head at the sound of her father’s voice and even though Heather wanted to nuzzle Emma’s cheek and keep breathing in her fresh baby smell, she forced herself to move across the room to give her back to Chase and Chloe.

“Congratulations,” she said again, tears close enough again that she knew she had to get out of there. Not just from their bedroom, but out of the house, away from the rest of the Sullivans and everything she’d told herself she never wanted, but so desperately did.

“I need to get back to the dogs. Zach, you should stay. I’ll watch Cuddles as long as you need me to.”

She practically broke into a run as she fled the bedroom. She thought she heard his siblings, maybe even his mother, say her name as she made a beeline for the front door, but apart from blurting out something unintelligible about needing to get back to the dogs, she didn’t stop to acknowledge them.

She couldn’t let Lori tell her how great Zach was again.

She couldn’t let Sophie look at her so sweetly and say they were all really hoping for a normal sister-in-law.

She couldn’t let herself fall deeper into the quicksand that she should have been smart enough to keep out of in the first place.

Zach had driven them here in one of the dozen cars he seemed to have in his underground garage, but a walk would do her good, would help her clear her head and figure out what the heck was wrong with her.

Only, she already knew she could walk all day and all night for the next year and never be able to erase the picture of Zach with the baby in his arms.

Heather loved kids enough that, despite not wanting to do it the traditional way, she had always planned to have children of her own. Not only because she wouldn’t dare risk trusting a man enough to pledge a lifetime to him, but also because she couldn’t possibly risk her children’s hearts either, the way her mother had risked hers.

But as soon as she’d seen Zach and the baby, when she’d witnessed the complete adoration, the pure, unconditional love in his eyes...she’d stupidly wanted that dream family. With him.

Because she’d fallen in l—

No.

God, no.

Horrified by what she’d almost admitted to herself, she was startled by Zach’s strong hands on her waist, pulling her against him out on the sidewalk. Of course, her body had to betray her by instinctively curling into his heat.

She felt his mouth in her hair, and then his kiss on the top of her head before he asked, “What’s wrong?”

“I can’t do this.” Knowing she needed to be strong, that she should have faced him head-on rather than running, she forced herself to turn around and look him in the eye. “This thing we’re doing—” She sucked in a shaky breath to get it out. “—it’s a mistake.”

How she wished she’d never laid eyes on the man who had turned her world completely upside down. But that was a lie, too, because she couldn’t imagine not having had these past two weeks with him.

Still, that didn’t change the fact that she needed to get out while there was still a chance of retaining one small sliver of an unbroken heart.

“I thought I could do this, but seeing you with the baby and the dogs and your family—it’s too much. I let myself get in too deep. I shouldn’t have been in there today with all of you.”

“They all wanted you there, Heather. And I needed you with me.” He slid the pads of his thumbs across her cheeks to wipe her tears away. “Seeing you with the baby—” He paused, his gaze intense and filled with emotion. “You’re going to be such a beautiful mother, Heather. So damn beautiful.”