Hold Me (Fool's Gold #16)(92)

SKIING SEVENTY MILES an hour into a tree broke more bones than Destiny walking out on him, but being without her hurt a whole lot more. Kipling still couldn’t figure out what to do with the information she’d clobbered him with before she’d left.

She loved him, and she was gone. Just like that. I love you. I want a divorce. It was the end of a bad movie. It was so extreme as to be ridiculous. But he wasn’t laughing. Or sleeping or eating. In fact, it was all he could do to keep breathing.

It hurt. More than anything ever had. He who had always believed that the words didn’t matter—that only actions matter—had been ripped open by what he’d been told. Words killed, he thought grimly.

Just as bad, she was gone. Oh, sure, he would see her. They were having a kid together, and he knew that whatever happened between the two of them, she would never try to cut him out of his child’s life. But he didn’t want to be a part-time dad. He wanted to be a family. With her.

He started out of his rental to tell her just that, only to stop by the front door and turn around. What was he to say to convince her not to divorce him? He wanted them to stay married. He wanted to live with her and have his child with her. He thought he’d shown her how much he cared by his actions. He’d been there for her, had taken care of her.

He knew there was a solution to the problem. There had to be. But whatever it was, it eluded him. He ran different scenarios in his mind. He wrote letters. He’d considered renting a billboard, but had no idea what it would say.

Don’t leave me was a start. Marry me was out of the question. They were already married. Let’s not get a divorce was too twisted.

What he didn’t understand was what had changed. If she loved him now, she’d probably loved him for a while. So wasn’t their being married a good thing?

Someone knocked on his door. He pulled it open, eager to see Destiny. But instead his sister stood on the porch.

She put her hands on her hips. “Seriously, you could at least try not to be so disappointed it’s me.”

“Sorry.”

“Hoping it was your new bride?”

He nodded and stepped back to let his sister in. She walked past him then turned to face him when he shut the front door.

“What’s up?”

He asked the question in his best casual, “I’m fine. Ignore the signs of strain and tension” voice. Apparently, it worked because Shelby didn’t ask any questions. Instead she said, “I’ve been thinking.”

“About?”

“What you said before. About the business and me and us.” She sighed. “You’re a good big brother, and I love you.”

It was obvious she had more to say, so he waited.

“And I’m sorry.”

Not what he expected. “About?”

“I’ve sent you mixed messages. I ask your advice then get mad when you give it. I want you to rescue me but only sometimes. It’s not clear to me, so it sure can’t be clear to you, either.”

He relaxed a little. “Okay. So where does that leave us?”

She smiled. “I would like to borrow the money from you, but only as a loan. I’ll pay you back, with interest.”

“What if I don’t want to give you the money anymore?”

She laughed then hugged him. “You’re a funny guy.”

“Not everyone thinks so.”

“Then they don’t know you well enough.”

He didn’t think that was Destiny’s problem.

Shelby studied him. “Want to talk about it?”

“There’s nothing. I’m fine.”

“Then why are you still living here instead of with Destiny?”

She had him on that one. “It’s complicated. She’s...” Not mad, he thought. Disappointed? Hurt? “Upset.”

“Did you try to fix things too much? You do that, Kipling. You mean well, but sometimes people want to be more than a project.”

“I don’t see people as projects.”

She raised her eyebrows as her hands returned to her hips.

He sighed. “Sometimes I do,” he admitted.

“Enough that it’s hard for the rest of us to be sure where we stand and if we matter. You’re my brother, and I don’t always know if you’re excited about helping me or taking care of the problem.”

Was that what had gone wrong with Destiny? He hadn’t made it clear he cared about her and the baby?

“Doesn’t what I do matter more than what I say?”

“Not always.” Shelby hugged him. “You’re a really good guy. If Destiny isn’t seeing that right now, then give her a little time. You’re not wrong to care.”

“Thanks.” Although he knew he had to be wrong about something because Destiny didn’t want to stay married to him. “You doing okay?”

“I am. I had a brief but horrible relationship with Miles, and I’m now officially over him.”

“What? Miles the pilot? He’s a player.” And soon to be dead, Kipling thought grimly.

“Yes, I see that now.” Shelby shook her head. “Don’t go there. Don’t take on my problem. I bought into his charm, and I learned a good lesson. I’ll recover.”

“You’re my sister.”