Hold Me (Fool's Gold #16)(89)

Starr blushed. “I do. He’s so great. I know we’re young, and I don’t want things to get serious, but when I’m around him...”

“Magic?”

“Yeah. Just like they talk about in songs. You know, like your feelings for Kipling.”

Destiny really hoped Starr wasn’t experiencing any of those kinds of feelings.

“But we’ve talked,” Starr continued. “There’s not going to be any more kissing. We’re going to hang out with friends and stuff. Be together, but not serious.”

“That’s a really smart decision.”

“You think? I’m trying. I thought a lot about what you said. About my parents and how they reacted instead of thinking things through.”

“You still have to have fun,” Destiny told her. “Be a kid.”

“I know, and I will. Just not so fast with boys. See. I’m learning from you.”

“You are.”

But Destiny wondered how much of the lesson was a good thing. Because it seemed to her, she might have gone too far in the sensible direction. It wasn’t as if her personal life had turned out so great.

Their sensible marriage was no longer so sensible. In fact, in the cold light of day, it was a ridiculous thing to have done. She was intelligent and capable. She could raise a child on her own. Not that she was trying to shut Kipling out or keep him from his baby. But marriage?

“I want to talk to you about something,” she said.

“What?”

“Kipling, mostly.”

Starr leaned her head against the sofa. “I wondered. He hasn’t been around.”

“He’s called but I haven’t wanted to talk to him.”

“Because he hurt your feelings?”

“Yes, and because I was confused. When I was your age...”

Destiny wasn’t sure how to explain something that didn’t quite make sense to her.

“I was determined not to be like my parents. I wanted a stable home. A sure thing. I got that from my Grandma Nell, but when I went out on my own, I was scared. What if I fell crazy in love and ran around the country, singing at honky-tonks and living on a bus?”

Starr laughed. “That sounds fun.”

“Not to me. It would have been a nightmare.” She paused, mentally feeling her way as she went. “I was so afraid of what I could become, that I started to ignore who I actually was. It was safe, but now I’m thinking it might not have been the right decision.”

She smiled at her sister. “I never would have let myself kiss a boy the way you did. I would have been too scared of what would happen. I ran from so many things.”

“Like your music?” Starr asked softly.

“Yes. Like my music.” She drew in a breath. “I guess I’m saying I’m a complete and total mess.”

“You’re not. You’re wonderful. You took me in.”

“I’m lucky you put up with me. You’re my sister, and I’m so grateful we’re making a life together.”

“Me, too.” Starr bit her lower lip. “You’re not going to stay married to Kipling, are you?”

“I don’t think so. We don’t want the same thing. I panicked when I found out I was pregnant. That wasn’t really smart of me. I still want to stay in Fool’s Gold. We’re still going to be a family. Just you and me.”

“And the baby.” Starr leaned toward her. “I’ll help. I can do things around the house.”

“Good. One of us should know what she’s doing.”

Starr laughed.

“We’ll get a house,” Destiny told her. “One we pick out together.”

Not the one where she and Kipling made love, she thought. Those were memories she wanted to avoid.

“Are you going to get another job?” Starr asked tentatively. “Can you work with a baby?”

A really good question. Income would be required. She didn’t doubt that Kipling would offer to pay child support, but that was money she would want to put away. In the meantime, she was perfectly capable and had a unique skill set.

“My mom’s manager has always told me he wants to put me to work writing songs. I’m going to call him and find out if he’s telling the truth.” She touched Starr’s arm. “In fact, I was thinking of going through what I have after dinner. Want to help me with that?”

Starr’s eyes widened. “Yeah. I’d love to.”

“Good. Let’s check out what’s thawing in the refrigerator.”

They rose, and Destiny led the way into the kitchen. But her mind was on the notebooks she’d stored in a box in her dresser. Notebooks filled with dozens of songs she’d written over the years. There were a few that would make beautiful duets. There might very well be some interest in a release sung by the daughters of Jimmy Don Mills.

She wasn’t willing to go on tour or anything like that, but maybe a studio album wasn’t out of the question.

“What’s so funny?” Starr asked. “You’re smiling.”

“Am I? I was just thinking that life is nothing if not ironic. I’ve spent years running away from who I am only to find out that’s the person I need to be.”

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