Highland Warrior (Campbell Trilogy #1)(106)

“ ’Twas Mor’s orders, my lady. She said the laddie was too weak to have anything other than broth.”

“Weak!” Brian protested indignantly. “Bah. I will be if I have nothing but boiled marrow and water.”

Caitrina bit back her smile at the look of outrage on his face. A young warrior did not appreciate being called weak no matter what the reference. She sat on the edge of his bed and gestured for the serving girl to leave. “I’ll talk to Mor and see what I can do about getting you something a bit more substantial, if you promise to stay in bed and rest until I get back.”

All at once, Brian’s expression changed to one of concern. “Back? Where are you going? And where’s Niall? Why hasn’t he come to see me? No one will tell me anything.”

Caitrina debated whether to tell him the truth. Though it might be difficult for him to hear, she knew from experience that a pat on the head and being kept in the dark would not protect him. And with what he’d been through the past few months, he’d earned the right to know. “Niall has been taken to Dunoon. I’m going after him.”

He paled at her disclosure but did not otherwise react. Her heart tugged again at the proof of how much the past few months had changed him. Her young brother was old beyond his years. But his controlled reaction also told her that she’d been right to tell him. She wanted to smooth her hand over his brow and assure him there was nothing to worry about, but Brian was no longer a little boy—and she didn’t want to give him false hope.

Instead she added, “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“I don’t understand how this happened. Niall was so certain we wouldn’t be discovered.”

Caitrina bit her lip. “You weren’t,” she admitted. “It was I who told Jamie where to find you.”

His eyes widened. “You told Argyll’s Henchman where to find us? But he’s a bloody Campbell. Our enemy.”

“He’s not like that.” The instinct to defend him was automatic. She hated the Henchman epithet. Jamie wasn’t a cold-blooded killer or a man who killed without thought on the orders of his chief. He was doing what he thought right. “He’s one of the most honorable men I know. He’s restored our home to our clan and treated them like his own even when our clan did not welcome him.”

Brian didn’t seem inclined to believe her, not that she expected him to. He had, after all, spent the last few months as an outlaw because of the Campbells. “But why now? Why did you think it necessary to tell him where we were?” He paled. “It wasn’t because of me?”

“No, no,” she assured him. She explained how Auchinbreck and his men had arrived at Rothesay followed by Jamie. “I couldn’t take the chance that his brother would find you first. I thought my husband would protect you.”

“But you’ve changed your mind?”

“No, I—” She stopped, realizing what she’d said. No. She hadn’t changed her mind. Even after what had passed between them, she still believed that Jamie would try to help her brother and clansmen; it was his cousin’s mercurial ruthlessness that she feared. How could she explain? “It’s complicated,” she hedged.

Brian studied her. “You don’t think he holds enough influence over his cousin?”

His shrewd appraisal of the situation took her aback. At that moment, he reminded her so much of their father.

She considered his question. Jamie claimed that Argyll had promised leniency. Though every instinct warred against trusting Argyll, it was clear that Jamie still believed in him—Argyll’s deception of Alasdair MacGregor notwithstanding.

If she believed in Jamie, did that mean she must believe in Argyll as well? The very idea was abhorrent, but uncomfortably true. She knew the type of man Jamie was: Was it possible that his loyalty and duty would extend to a despot? Jamie was right: At some point, she had to choose a side. She was either for Jamie and his cousin or she was against them. It wasn’t a simple matter of black and white, but a complicated shade of gray. Whom did she believe in more?

She knew the answer in her heart but was too scared to admit it when doing so might mean she’d made a grave error. “Jamie has influence, and he’s promised to speak on behalf of Niall and the others. But I’m not sure it will be enough. Too much is at stake for uncertainty. I never would have told him where you were if I’d known what he intended.”

“I should have guessed,” Brian said disgustedly. “He tricked you into telling him, then?”

“No, of course not,” she defended automatically. “He would never do that. He just assumed I would realize what he had to do.”

“You tried to convince him otherwise?”

She nodded. “He wouldn’t listen.” Even when she’d thrown down the ultimate gauntlet. The panic and fear of the moment had made her grasp at anything. “He said it was his duty.”

“What did you expect him to do, Caiti? He’s Argyll’s bloody Henchman. Even a Campbell has to abide his laird.”

God, it was clear even to her thirteen-year-old brother. Unease penetrated the veil of betrayal that had blinded her to anything else when she’d discovered what Jamie had meant to do.

She’d asked him to put his duty to her before that to his cousin, and he’d refused. It had seemed so simple, but when he’d put the same choice to her, she’d realized it had been anything but. Love wasn’t an either-or proposition, but she’d made it one by issuing threats and ultimatums.