Forget About Midnight (Alexa O'Brien, Huntress #9)(95)

“And you brought out a better side to him,” Shaz countered, his fist clenched. “Let him do that for you. God, let me do that for you.”

I started to reach for him, but his tension and vehement anger stopped me. “You do. You both do, but this is not something you can fix. I can’t be fixed, and I don’t even want to be. Because as long as you think I’m damaged goods that need to be repaired, neither of us will be happy. You can’t turn me into your ideal version of me, Shaz.”

And that was it, right there, the harsh, startling reality. He wanted me to be who I was before, but that person no longer existed.

The interior of the small car began to feel exceedingly tight. I didn’t want it to be this way between us, but Shaz had some inner demons of his own to battle. I couldn’t do that for him.

“I think I’m going to head home,” he said after the silence had grown deafening. “We’ll talk later.”

“Ok.” My tone was soft, weak. Watching a wedge be driven between me and those I loved made me feel powerless. No matter how much power I had, there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it.

I got out of the car and waved, but he wasn’t looking at me. He drove away, leaving me standing there, watching his taillights disappear. I’d finally convinced him to see how things had changed, how I had changed. Hurting him was never my intention. All I wanted was to spare him inevitable pain and suffering. So much for that.

As I turned to go inside, my gaze landed on Kale’s Camaro. I’d have to move it to my house at some point. Kale. No sooner had I thought of him than my stomach tightened with longing.

That was over though. He’d probably seen the video by now too. Making my way inside, I crossed through the club to the back to fetch my dagger and shoulder bag from Harley’s old room where I’d left them. Gabriel’s room now.

There were a few text messages, one from Kale the previous night telling me he’d arrived safely in Las Vegas. Knowing I shouldn’t put it off, I called him, pacing the back hall as I listened to it ring.

I could feel that most of the rooms around me were empty. They wouldn’t be for long. Soon they would be occupied by drunken humans seeking a thrill and blood hungry vampires seeking a fix. And the world continued to turn.

“Let me guess,” Kale said when he answered, his voice smooth and low. “You called to tell me that you miss me. I miss you too. At least I did until this video ended up on my phone.”

“Kale, let me explain.” Before he could stop me, I rushed on, telling him about turning myself in to protect my sister for a lie dreamed up by Briggs. “You know what that place does. It gets inside your head.”

It sounded like an excuse, but it wasn’t. Kale knew. It had driven him so crazy he’d tried to rape and kill me. Still, I had forgiven him.

“It’s none of my business who you sleep with. It never was.” His tone was detached, cold.

“Kale…”

“Don’t feel like you have to justify anything to me. I know what that place can do. But I kind of saw this coming.” The way he said it made me think it was accompanied by an indifferent shrug. “Mostly, I’m just upset you never told me that you planned to go back into that building.”

My initial reaction was shock, then anger. At a loss for a response, I sputtered, “You shouldn’t have left.”

“I had to, and you know it. You and I need some time apart. Alexa, take this time to find yourself. I mean really find yourself. You owe it to yourself to overcome the obstacles that have plagued so many of us.” It was quiet when he paused. There was no background noise, leading me to wonder where he was. Was he at The Wicked Kiss Las Vegas with Jenner?

Feeling miserable, I stopped outside of Kale’s abandoned room and stared at the number thirteen on the door. “Juliet is there. Briggs sent her to watch you and Jenner. She’s helping the Vegas FPA get their shit together. I’d rather Jenner not know if possible.”

Kale digested this bit of information. “I’ll keep an eye out for her.” There was an awkward moment where neither of us seemed to know what to say. “Well, I’ve gotta run. I’ll talk to you later.”

Panic gripped me as I became desperate to keep him on the line. Anything to feel close to him for just a moment longer. “Wait, Kale, please—”

He cut me off. Irritation crept into his voice. “Forget it, Alexa. I don’t want to do this right now. I just… I can’t.”

He hung up, leaving me standing there staring at my phone. The urge to hurl it down the hall in a fit of temper was strong. So I did.

At that moment Willow stepped into the back hall, and the phone smacked his chest before hitting the floor at his feet. He looked at me in mock offense. “What the hell was that all about? I know I haven’t been here for a while, but there’s no need to be abusive.”

I shoved away from the door and headed toward him. Scooping my phone off the floor, I grimaced. “Sorry. Bad phone call.”

“What’s up?”

With a shrug and a sigh, I tried to feel something other than morose. “Briggs sent out the security footage of me and Falon. He thought it would drive a wedge between me and certain people. He was right.”

Willow slung an arm around my shoulders and guided me along, back into the main part of the club. “The evil in this city is overwhelming. Even those who claim to fight it end up joining it. It’s discouraging, which is why you must not be discouraged.”