Forever My Love (Berkeley-Faulkner #2)(39)

“Nothing,” Mira whispered.

“What caused your mother to—?”

“Nothing!” she repeated angrily.

Sighing in an exasperated manner, Alec let the subject drop. “All right, then… we won’t talk about her. What were you going to say about Guillaume?”

“He took care of me after our mother died,” Mira said carefully. “He was my only family. We went everywhere together. He earned money here and there, doing different things, and I worked when I could. But it was not enough money to live on, so we had to… we had to do dishonest things in order to get more. Guillaume taught me many things. We robbed people, lied to them, and conned them.” Guillaume had been pleased that she could’make friends so easily, because the more they had liked her, the more easily she had been able to take advantage of them. “I hated it. I always hated what we had to do for money. I hated to hurt people… but it’s so much worse to be hungry. You wouldn’t understand what it’s like.”

Alec made no reply as he pinned her with a shrewd stare.

“And even if I hadn’t been so afraid of being hungry,” Mira continued, “I would have done it all to please Guillaume. He was the only person in the world who cared about what happened to me. He loved me—I know he did—and without him I would have been alone. I was afraid of being alone. But everything changed when I was fifteen, when I was working at a hotel in Paris as a chambermaid. Guillaume would leave me for a few weeks at a time.”

A young girl, alone in Paris. Working in a hotel. Alec knew that she must have been uncommonly resilient to have survived that. She had to have been exposed often to danger… yet she was not asking for pity, merely telling him the facts. Reluctantly he felt a twinge of admiration for her—as he had once said, she did not lack mettle.

“At the hotel,” Mira said, “I met Rand Berkeley for the first time. There was a woman with him—they were not married, but they seemed to care for each other. The woman was Rosalie Belleau. She was ill, and I helped to take care of her while they stayed at the hotel. I went with Berkeley and Rosalie when they retired to the country for her to recuperate. During that summer I was her companion, and we became very fond of each other.” Mira smiled wistfully. “But there were many things that I did not know about Rosalie, including the controversy that was taking place in England at the time. She was rumored to be the illegitimate daughter of Beau Brummell.”

“Ah…” Alec nodded thoughtfully. “I remember the scandal now… it was in all of the newspapers. The Berkeleys have since covered it up well, but Lady Rosalie has quite a checkered past.”

“Yes. Guillaume, my brother, found out about it and followed me to the chateau where we were all staying. He was involved with a bad crowd of people, an organization that extends from England to France. They convinced him to do terrible things. I did not know what he and they planned, but I knew somehow that Guillaume was making use of my friendship with Lord Berkeley and Rosalie, and that he was going to take advantage of their trust in me. I didn’t say anything, blindly hoping that he would not do anything wrong. I was happy for the first time in my life. I had a home and security, and I wanted it to go on forever. Berkeley and Rosalie asked me to come back to England with them. I would have, but then… then—”

“Guillaume interfered?”

Mira nodded slowly. “Yes, Guillaume tore it all apart. He arranged to have Rosalie kidnapped, rightout from under Berkeley’s nose. She was… she was sold to someone for a great deal of money, to someone who wanted her because she was Brummell’s daughter. And unwittingly I was the one who made it all possible. My friendship with Berkeley and Rosalie nearly ruined their lives.” She closed her itching eyes and rubbed them gently. “I ran like a coward when I found out what Guillaume had done. I couldn’t face Berkeley; I was afraid he would kill me. I loved Rosalie and I wanted to die when I realized what she might have been suffering. I don’t know how Berkeley got her back, but he did. Eventually I found out that things had turned out well for them… but I was too overwhelmed with guilt and shame to approach them. During my stay with them I had learned many things, you see… I realized how many people I had hurt, how many bad things I had helped Guillaume to do. So I left Guillaume and came here. He followed me, but I kept on running and hiding from him—I didn’t want his love anymore.”

“And that’s why you’re so distraught over their arrival tomorrow?” Alec asked when it appeared that she had finished. His tone was dry and faintly ridiculing, as if her fear and shame had been unfounded.

“If not for me, all of those people wouldn’t have been hurt, and Rosalie would never have been kidnapped—”

“Wait… stop for just a second. You didn’t intentionally help Guillaume arrange the kidnapping, did you?”

“No, but—”

“Then you have nothing to feel guilty about,” ‘ said matter-of-factly.

“But all the other people I stole from—”

“Do you really think they give a damn about your pangs of conscience? No. They’ve forgotten all about the dirty turn that some little French imp did to them once, and they’re going on about their lives as usualwhile you’re here stewing and fretting over nothing. Mira, my mixed-up brat, you should put your energy to better use than this.”