Forever My Love (Berkeley-Faulkner #2)(41)

“Oh, I hate you!” she cried, her breath coming in dry sobs. “Stop it! You’re wrong about everything. Yes, I’ve had men before, hundreds of them, hundreds and—”

“Little liar. I’d check myself before taking your word for it.”

“Oh, don’t!” Mira went stiff as she felt him pull up the material of her skirt, his hand burrowing ruthlessly until he found the fine silkiness of her long-legged pantaloons. “What are you doing? Stop it!”

Alec’s fingers curled into the rigid line of her thigh, and suddenly his voice contained what might have been a trace of desperation.

“Mira… listen to me—”

“I can’t tell you, I can’t!”

“I know you made some kind of promise to him. I know you’re afraid of breaking it, but God help me, I have to know or I’ll go mad. I don’t care if you’re an innocent or not. I don’t care if you have had hundreds of men. I just have to know if you’re his. Tell me… I need the truth.” Slowly his hand moved up and down the inside of her thigh in a gentle caress, his touch burning through the thin material. “Are you Sackville’s mistress?”

“Alec—” she gasped.

His hand moved further up her leg, venturing near the warm crevice between her thighs. “The truth. Mira.”

“I won’t—” j

“Are you Sackville’s mistress?” ‘t

“Oh—” 1

“Are you?” he insisted.Suddenly Mira sagged in his arms. She could not fight him any longer. “No,” she sobbed.

With a relieved groan he turned her around and crushed her against his body. She felt his lips against her hair. It seemed that he held her like that for hours, his arms firm and possessive. Mira gave a shuddering sigh, holding on to him desperately, letting him support her weight, never wanting to move again. She could not deny to herself any longer that she loved Alec Falkner; she would never love anyone else in this way. She loved everything about him, the way he bullied and teased and comforted her, the way he laughed, the way he held her, his anger, his desires… she loved his strengths and even his faults.

“Sackville had a riding accident before I came to the manor,” she said, nestling against him and burying her face in his neck. “He hurt his back. It took a long time to heal, but he was well by the time I first arrived. He made it a special project to see that I was well taken care of.”

“I’ll bet he did.”

“If it weren’t for his kindness I would have died. When I recovered, he told me that he cared for me and… and that he wanted to take me as his mistress. I knew that I owed my life to him, and there was nothing else I had to give him. He… he came to my bed a few times, but he never… he couldn’t… Do you—?”

“I understand.”

“The accident had taken away his ability to… make love. But he is such a proud man, and so afraid that someone will find out. Sackville said that I would still be able to help him by pretending that I was his mistress. He is so proud, so afraid of what people think. I promised him that I would never tell anyone and that I would help him to convince you—”

“It’s all right.” Alec’s punishing grip loosened. His hand cupped around the back of her head and tilted

her face upward so that he could look directly into her eyes. “You are not going to leave tomorrow,” he said quietly. “As far as I can tell, you’ve always solved your problems by running away. Not any longer.”

Mira tried to wriggle away from him. He didn’t know all of the truth. He had no idea that her past was too complicated, studded with too many obstacles. It couldn’t be solved or put behind her. Sooner or later it would rise up to threaten her again… over and over, for the rest of her life. She had to run from it… it was the only way.

“I don’t want to face them,” she said.

“You can’t run from the Berkeleys forever. And after you face them there won’t be anything more to dread.”

She only wished that that were true. But how could she argue when he spoke with such authority, such absolute certainty? Mira nodded halfheartedly, closing her eyes as he dropped-a casual kiss on her forehead. His mouth felt very warm and light, stirring her senses pleasantly. Mira remembered that bold clasp of his hand on her thigh… suddenly she felt indignant, excited, and nervous all at once.

“Alec?” she asked in a small voice. “Do you… have you ever kept a mistress?”

She longed for a third foot to kick herself with as Alec grinned, seeming to know exactly what she had been thinking. His expression was wry and amused as he stared down at her, his free hand coming up to stroke the fragile lines of her throat in a gentle, knowing caress. “One thing at a time, sweet,” he murmured. “Let’s get you out of this tangle before landing you in another.”

“I wasn’t asking you—” she began with straight-backed dignity.

“I know what you were asking.”

“Well, I don’t really care—”

“The answer is no. I’ve never found a woman whomanaged to keep me amused for very long. Setting up a mistress in a grand residence, satisfying her whims, and being seen with her more than a few times all add up to a kind of responsibility that I haven’t yet entertained an interest in.”