Fools Rush in(91)

“Have you heard from your mom?” I asked.

“Oh, yeah. Every night at ten. I’m going down to New York City to spend the weekend with her. Gonna go to some museums, maybe see a show.”

“That sounds like fun. Give her my love.” My feelings had softened a bit toward Trish lately. I’d even called her a couple of times, listening without censure as she described Avery’s latest car or the restaurant that had just opened in SoHo.

Danny gave me a hug. “Thanks for the help, Aunt Mil. God, I hope I get in.”

“Danny, you have a 4.0 average, you got 2380 on your SATs, you volunteer for Habitat for Humanity, you play varsity baseball and you have very straight teeth. You’ll get in.”

I STARTED RUNNING AGAIN. If Joe passed me, I planned on waving, but he never did. He’d finished at the senior center, so I was safe when I made rounds there. Katie insisted that I get out and dragged me to the movies. Curtis and Mitch called almost daily. I went to work, but I didn’t really have that much to do. I stopped by to see Danny once or twice only when I was pretty sure Sam was working. Sam called me a few times and asked me to go out, but after the third time I gave him an excuse, he backed off.

It would just take time, I rationalized, to get used to this and be able to deal with it gracefully. One day, things would be back to normal, and Sam and I could be friends again. We would talk on the phone and maybe go for a run together. He would meet someone, and the three of us would have dinner together, and I would be happy for him. You betcha. One of these old days. Until then, I planned a campaign of evasive maneuvers.

I hadn’t counted on Sam pulling me over for speeding one night. When I saw the flashing lights in my rearview mirror, I cursed. Pulling over to the side of Route 6 by the Visitors Center, I watched Sam unfold himself from the patrol car. Officer Ethel got out also, but she just leaned against the cruiser, lit up a cigarette and sucked deeply, her cheeks hollowing. She tossed me a careless wave.

“Hey, Millie. Looks like this is the only way I get to see you.” Sam leaned down and smiled at me. My heart squeezed painfully.

“Oh, Officer, please don’t give me a ticket. I’m a doctor and I have a medical emergency.” I tried to find the old groove I used to have with Sam. It fell flat.

“Oh, yeah? And what’s that?” He waited expectantly.

I sighed. “I don’t know, Sam. Are you really going to give me a ticket?”

“Nope. You were only doing forty-four. I just saw your car and wanted to say hi. Seems like you’ve been awfully busy lately.”

“Yes, yes, very busy,” I said, looking straight ahead, hoping the darkness hid the tears that pricked my eyes. “Lots to do.”

He looked at me another minute, his smile fading. “Okay, Millie. I’ll see you around.”

I glanced quickly at him and took a quick breath. “Okay, Sam. Thanks. Good to see you.”

I zipped away, safe for another day.

OCTOBER’S COOLER WEATHER seemed to come overnight. The poison ivy flashed brilliant red, the maples and locust trees glowed with yellow, the oaks a solemn brown. All of a sudden, summer was over. It was a bittersweet time. Never had I felt so in tune with the seasons…. My summer brightness had faded, and I felt a long winter of the soul coming on.

But I was determined to get on with my life. I would keep running and trying to eat right, since I didn’t want to lose my newfound health. It was funny, though. All that time spent trying to lose weight, and now I found eating to be a bit of a chore. But I plugged along resignedly, chewing food I didn’t much taste, staring at the kitchen table a lot.

Thank God for Digger. I appreciated his company more than ever. In the evenings, I taught him silly tricks, like collapsing to the floor if I pointed my finger at him and said, “Bang.” He learned to crawl, toss a cookie off his nose and catch it midair, and sneeze on command. “I’m sorry, Diggy,” I said the night that he failed to learn to dance on his hind legs. Still, I was grateful that he entertained me, even if it was at the cost of his personal dignity. For his reward, I started letting him sleep on my bed.

I tried to read. Medical journals were the only thing I could get through, which was lucky, since I wanted to be on top of things when I started with Dr. Whitaker in a few weeks. I thought about taking a quick vacation, going off-Cape for some of that time, but I didn’t think I could afford anything far enough to be worthwhile, and frankly, I didn’t have the energy.

I tried not to think about Sam.

ON COLUMBUS DAY WEEKEND, we had a party to say goodbye. Dr. Bala and his family came, as did Jill and her husband, and Juanita from the hospital. Sienna brought a boyfriend, a sinister-looking man in leather and metal who actually was quite sweet and friendly, Satan-worshipping garb aside. Jeff, our dear college student, couldn’t make it, as he was back at Tufts, but we generously forgave him. Pizza and soda were passed around, and we all felt a bit nostalgic.

“Do you remember the man who unfortunately put the nail through his hand? Goodness, that was a nasty one. It reminded me of a crucifixion,” Dr. Bala reminisced.

“And the lady who fell asleep na**d on her deck? Poor thing! I have never seen such bad sunburn!” Jill chuckled.

“What about the newlyweds with poison ivy?” Sienna hooted. (I had to fake-laugh on that one.)

“What are your plans, Dr. Balamassarhinarhajhi?” I asked, the now-familiar syllables rolling effortlessly from my lips.