Following Me(74)

She had deluded herself into believing in it, in him. Reid wasn’t her greatness. He was just a guy who got off on a little power. She had been so blind to him that even when the worst had come—she had still blamed herself. Why couldn’t she be better? How could she get him to see that she was trying harder? She deserved what he was doing to her because she wasn’t good enough for him.

The longer she had stayed away, the more these thoughts had faded from her mind. She wasn’t a coward. She hadn’t run because she thought it was easier than facing him. She was brave, and she had run because facing him wasn’t possible.

Two-and-a-half months wasn’t long enough for her to forget what had happened. It wasn’t long enough for her to forgive if she ever would. It was only long enough for the bruises to heal…but not the emotional ones. Those had scarred, and she didn’t know if they would ever fully heal.

As Reid walked into a parking garage, Devon’s heart fluttered. Of course, he had driven here. How else would he have gotten here so soon? The thought of getting into a car with him and letting him control her course was terrifying. Where were they going to go? Would he drive them straight back to St. Louis and pick up where they left off?

They found Reid’s sporty little black BMW parked all by itself. He had a habit of parking a floor above all the other cars to avoid anyone messing with his baby. Ironic at best.

Still holding her hand, he guided her to the passenger seat, opened the car door for her, and let her slide onto the black leather seat. As he shut the door tightly behind her, she tried not to hyperventilate.

They were alone. Completely alone. 100 percent alone.

She felt like a caged animal, desperate to be released from captivity. Her hair stood on end, and she tried not to fidget. Without thinking, she reached into her purse and pulled out a pen. She absentmindedly flipped it between her fingers. It didn’t calm her down, but it helped. It gave her something else to think about. She wanted to write then, to let out all the emotions coursing through her body. She wanted to write more than she had since the first couple weeks she had been in Chicago. But she didn’t dare pull out her notebook. Reid didn’t like her lyrics, and he certainly wouldn’t like the ones she had written about him.

Reid sat himself comfortably into the driver’s seat and locked the doors. Devon watched the lock click into place, and she had the sudden urge to lift it and bolt. How far could she get? She wasn’t a runner. Could she make it to the elevator? Would the stairs be a better option? Would he chase her? Were her dreams becoming reality?

He revved the engine to life, and Devon sank back into the seat. She couldn’t outrun him. Although he didn’t work out like he had used to, he still had more than six inches on her in height. Not to mention, he was a natural athlete. And who was she kidding? Her dreams were already her reality.

“Where have you been staying?” he asked, reaching for her hand and taking it.

“With Hadley and her boyfriend,” she told him with a sigh.

“Ah,” he said, putting the car into reverse, “I forgot Hadley was in the city.”

Devon nodded, not knowing what else to say. Now, he knew. Great.

“Then, we’ll go there.”

“What?” she asked. Oh God…Hadley! She had told Hadley that she and Reid had broken up and that she was into Brennan. If she showed up with Reid in tow, it could cause a nuclear meltdown. Garrett knew what had happened between them, and Garrett and Hadley both knew that she had been out all night with Brennan. If they said one word about Brennan, it would set off Reid. Reid could not go back to the apartment.

“That’s where your stuff is, right?” he asked, turning to face her.

“Uh, right. But I don’t have much,” she said. She didn’t even know why she said that. It wasn’t like she wanted to hurry up and head back to St. Louis. She had no escape there.

He smiled and squeezed her hand. She tried not to cringe.

“Didn’t you leave your phone there?”

Her stomach dropped. Fuck! Of all the days…

“Oh yeah,” she whispered.

Reid pulled the car out of the garage and exited smoothly into traffic on the one-way street. “Where am I headed?”

She bit her lip and stared out the car window before directing him to their destination. She didn’t want to bring him back to the apartment. What choice did she have though? She had taken the only choice she could to protect Brennan. Now, she had to follow through with it. Once he was safe, she would try to work things out with Reid. He just couldn’t find out. She wouldn’t be able to forgive herself if Reid were to hurt Brennan.

Devon had never driven the streets of Chicago, but she knew the blocks well enough. Jenn’s wasn’t far from Marina City, but she felt a bit disoriented since she always took the L. He grunted when she made another accidental wrong turn.

“I should have just used my GPS.”

“Sorry,” she squeaked.

It was the least angry he had gotten with her for bad directions in a long time. He had refused to let her navigate anywhere they went because he hated all her mistakes. This was already starting out so well.

He pulled into the Marina City complex and parked. Devon pushed the door open and stood. From her position, she could see out of the building all the way to Lake Michigan. It made her think of Brennan’s boat, the boat his father had left him, sitting in the harbor. She pulled her eyes away from the horizon, not wanting her eyes to show the loss of what could have been. Reid might not be able to decipher what it was immediately, but she didn’t want to give him cause to consider it.