Following Me(73)

“Who is he?” He crossed his arms, already closing himself off.

“That’s my boyfriend.”

Brennan raised his eyebrows. “Boyfriend?”

Devon closed her eyes and shook her head twice. “Ex-boyfriend. Sorry.”

“If he’s your ex, what is he doing here?” Brennan asked cautiously.

“I’m not sure exactly. We broke up on rocky terms. I think he wants to talk to me,” Devon said, looking away from him. This wasn’t going to be easy.

“Sounds like trouble,” Brennan said. “Devon, look at me.”

She obliged, trying not to see the hurt in his face.

“You don’t have to talk to him. I know it might seem like you have to, but you said it was over. And you’re over him, right?”

He waited for the answer that should have been immediate on her tongue. It was more complicated than whether or not she was over Reid, but she couldn’t tell Brennan that without putting him in danger. She cared about Brennan too much to let that happen.

“We didn’t break up face-to-face. I think I should at least talk to him,” she said softly.

His eyes shut, and he breathed heavily through his nose, like he was holding himself back. She hated herself. She hated herself so much. She never wanted to cause him any pain. She never wanted to see his beautiful face look at her any other way than as lovingly as he had on the boat yesterday. She would never forgive herself, but at least, he would be safe. She needed to keep reminding herself of that.

Brennan opened his eyes and stared so intensely into her own that she blushed and looked away. He grabbed both of her shoulders and pulled her close to him.

“Devon, please,” he said, making her look at him. “I can already see it happening. Don’t let the life drain out of you again. I can see you retreating. I need you, and I think you need me, too. Please just stay here, stay in the present, in the future. Stay with me.”

“Brennan,” she whispered, tears coming to her eyes this time.

“No, Devon, no tears,” he said, wiping them away from her eyes. “You’re too beautiful for that.”

She laughed through her tears and sniffled.

“There’s that smile, that beautiful smile. I want to keep making you smile, but I can’t if you walk out of this place. We pulled each other out of the water once, Devon. I can’t bear to see you sink any deeper. Please, please stay with me. Just stay with me,” he pleaded.

Devon closed her eyes and tried to steady her breathing. The tears were coming harder, and they weren’t helping anything. She wanted to stay so badly. She wanted to run away with Brennan and continue to forget all her problems. She wanted to be with him, but she couldn’t keep running. She needed to do what was right even if it wasn’t what she wanted.

“I can’t,” she said, sinking into herself as she forced out the words. “I have to go.”

She pushed the tears out of her eyes and brushed past him toward the exit. She had already been in here too long. Reid would notice, and she didn’t want him to associate Brennan with her.

“Devon,” he said, grabbing her wrist in his hand before she could go, “you’re making a big mistake.”

She swallowed back her tears. “I have to go,” she repeated, pulling her wrist free.

Before Brennan could say another word, she rushed out of the break room and into the kitchen. Pushing her hands up into her hair, Devon doubled over like she had just been punched in the stomach. No. This was worse.

This felt like her heart was breaking, shattering into a million pieces.

Chapter Twenty-Five - Coiled

WHEN DEVON FINALLY composed herself, she walked out of the back to find Reid fiddling with his empty drink while he talked to an enamored Hannah. This was going to go over well for her reputation, not that it even mattered. She didn’t know what she would even be doing after today.

“Hey,” Reid said. He watched her as she walked toward him, like a predator tracking his prey.

“Hey,” Devon responded.

His eyes searched her face. She knew that he could tell she had been crying. She never hid it well, but there was nothing she could do about it now.

Seemingly without thinking, he reached out and took her hand. “Are you ready to go?”

“Yeah,” she murmured.

“It was really nice meeting you, Hannah,” Reid said with that same award-winning smile. He placed two twenties on the bar and stood.

“Nice meeting you, too,” Hannah said sullenly as she watched Reid with Devon.

Devon didn’t even have the strength to say anything else to Hannah. She was ready to leave or else she never would. She had already left Brennan in the break room, and that had been nearly impossible.

THE SILENCE THAT permeated the space between Reid and Devon was suffocating. There was so much left unsaid, so much that she was waiting for, but she wasn’t going to be the one to break the silence. She didn’t even know where Reid was taking her. She knew the area, but she couldn’t tell where they were going. She should have cared more or been a little freaked out, but it was Reid. He wouldn’t do anything to attract attention to himself in public. But if they were walking somewhere more private…

She swallowed hard; a lump that she couldn’t get down lodged in her throat. The fact that they were here together right now was so messed up. She had thought that she had loved this man, that he was her greatness. True love had never felt so cheap than it had in this moment.