Eclipse (Twilight #3)(148)

"I'll do my best," she said, doubtful again.

"Can you still see me becoming a vampire?"

"Oh, that's easy. Sure, I do."

I nodded slowly.

She examined my face, her eyes unfathomable. "Don't you know your own mind, Bella?"

"I do. I just wanted to be sure."

"I'm only as sure as you are, Bella. You know that. If you were to change your mind, what I see would change . . . or disappear, in your case."

I sighed. "That isn't going to happen, though."

She put her arms around me. "I'm sorry. I can't really empathize. My first memory is of seeing Jasper's face in my future; I always knew that he was where my life was headed. But I can sympathize. I'm so sorry you have to choose between two good things."

I shook off her arms. "Don't feel sorry for me." There were people who deserved sympathy. I wasn't one of them. And there wasn't any choice to make - there was just breaking a good heart to attend to now. "I'll go deal with Charlie."

I drove my truck home, where Charlie was waiting just as suspiciously as Alice had expected.

"Hey, Bella. How was your shopping trip?" he greeted me when I walked into the kitchen. He had his arms folded over his chest, his eyes on my face.

"Long," I said dully. "We just got back."

Charlie assessed my mood. "I guess you already heard about Jake, then?"

"Yes. The rest of the Cullens beat us home. Esme told us where Carlisle and Edward were."

"Are you okay?"

"Worried about Jake. As soon as I make dinner, I'm going down to La Push."

"I told you those motorcycles were dangerous. I hope this makes you realize that I wasn't kidding around."

I nodded as I started pulling things out of the fridge. Charlie settled himself in at the table. He seemed to be in a more talkative mood than usual.

"I don't think you need to worry about Jake too much. Anyone who can cuss with that kind of energy is going to recover."

"Jake was awake when you saw him?" I asked, spinning to look at him.

"Oh, yeah, he was awake. You should have heard him - actually, it's better you didn't. I don't think there was anyone in La Push who couldn't hear him. I don't know where he picked up that vocabulary, but I hope he hasn't been using that kind of language around you."

"He had a pretty good excuse today. How did he look?"

"Messed up. His friends carried him in. Good thing they're big boys, 'cause that kid's an armful. Carlisle said his right leg is broken, and his right arm. Pretty much the whole right side of his body got crushed when he wrecked that damn bike." Charlie shook his head. "If I ever hear of you riding again, Bella -"

"No problem there, Dad. You won't. Do you really think Jake's okay?"

"Sure, Bella, don't worry. He was himself enough to tease me."

"Tease you?" I echoed in shock.

"Yeah - in between insulting somebody's mother and taking the Lord's name in vain, he said, 'Bet you're glad she loves Cullen instead of me today, huh, Charlie?'"

I turned back to the fridge so that he couldn't see my face.

"And I couldn't argue. Edward's more mature than Jacob when it comes to your safety, I'll give him that much."

"Jacob's plenty mature," I muttered defensively. "I'm sure this wasn't his fault."

"Weird day today," Charlie mused after a minute. "You know, I don't put much stock in that superstitious crap, but it was odd. . . . It was like Billy knew something bad was going to happen to Jake. He was nervous as a turkey on Thanksgiving all morning. I don't think he heard anything I said to him.

"And then, weirder than that - remember back in February and March when we had all that trouble with the wolves?"

I bent down to get a frying pan out of the cupboard, and hid there an extra second or two.

"Yeah," I mumbled.

"I hope we're not going to have a problem with that again. This morning, we were out in the boat, and Billy wasn't paying any attention to me or the fish, when all of a sudden, you could hear wolves yowling in the woods. More than one, and, boy, was it loud. Sounded like they were right there in the village. Weirdest part was, Billy turned the boat around and headed straight back to the harbor like they were calling to him personally. Didn't even hear me ask what he was doing.

"The noise stopped before we got the boat docked. But all of a sudden Billy was in the biggest hurry not to miss the game, though we had hours still. He was mumbling some nonsense about an earlier showing . . . of a live game? I tell you, Bella, it was odd.

"Well, he found some game he said he wanted to watch, but then he just ignored it. He was on the phone the whole time, calling Sue, and Emily, and your friend Quil's grandpa. Couldn't quite make out what he was looking for - he just chatted real casual with them.

"Then the howling started again right outside the house. I've never heard anything like it - I had goose bumps on my arms. I asked Billy - had to shout over the noise - if he'd been setting traps in his yard. It sounded like the animal was in serious pain."

I winced, but Charlie was so caught up in his story that he didn't notice.