Don't Hate the Player...Hate the Game(75)

“So what is it you want to talk to me about?”

I stared into her eyes. “I’ve not been honest with you.”

“About what?”

“Jake.”

Maddie’s brows rose in surprise. “What do you mean?”

I sighed. “Remember that night you and I took Jake’s things down to the funeral home?”

She nodded.

“Well, earlier that night, Mr. Nelson and I found something in Jake’s room. Something he was meaning to give to the girl he truly loved.” I reached into my pocket and pulled out the ring box. I leaned over and gently put it in her hands. “It was wrapped in the lyrics to You Were Always on My Mind.”

Maddie gasped as he cracked open the box and stared down at the diamond. “I don’t believe it.”

“You should because it was meant for you.” My heart constricted in my chest as I added, “And you were meant for him.” Maddie snapped her gaze from the ring to me, and I nodded. “He loved you, Maddie.”

“How can you be sure?”

I slowly took the rolled up notebook out of my back pocket. I flipped it to his letter and handed it to her. Without another word, I got up off the swing. Leaning back against a tree trunk, I watched her devour the words on the page. Tears welled in her eyes. When she finished, she gazed up at me.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

Nodding, she wiped her eyes. “It’s just hard to believe, that’s all. I mean, he hinted at things along the way, but there was nothing definite. But know, actually reading his words—actually knowing but not being able to do anything about it…”

She started sobbing. I eased back on the swing and took her into my arms. I knew this wasn’t going to be easy, but frankly, it was a real bitch. Her tears wet through my shirt, and as I held her, my mind was clear. There were no impure thoughts that would send me into overdrive. All I cared about was comforting her.

After a while, she pulled away from me. “Presley’s really pregnant?”

“Yes, she is.”

Maddie moaned. “I loved him and he loved me, but she’s having his baby. How much more screwed up could this get!”

“So you really loved him, huh?” I asked.

She stared at me in surprise. “I cared for him very much, and I loved him as a friend. But yes, I think I did love him. Why?”

I shook my head. “Never mind,” I mumbled as I got up from the swing.

“Noah, wait!” she cried, grabbing me by the sleeve. “What did you mean when you said you hadn’t been honest with me?”

Shit. I was hoping she’d be so overwhelmed with grief she’d forgotten I mentioned that. I ran my hand through my hair. “Mrs. Nelson asked me to find the girl for Jake. For a long time, I thought it was you—then after that night in the coffeehouse, I knew it was you. But I—I didn’t want to tell you.”

“Why not?”

“Because I didn’t want you to belong to him!”

“You didn’t?”

The blood boiled in my veins as I thought of losing her, and it turned over to white hot anger. “No, I didn’t. He was a jerk, Maddie. Can’t you see that? Hiding you away, dating other girls, screwing other girls. You deserved better!”

“He might have been a jerk sometimes, but he was trying to change. And at the end, he’d stopped partying and sleeping around,” she protested.

“Oh big deal!”

“For him it was a big deal. And just because he couldn’t tell me how he felt, doesn’t make his feelings any different.”

“How can you say that? If it had been me, I would have told you every day how much I loved you. There wouldn’t have been a day that passed by without me admitting how many times I thought about you, missed you, or wanted to feel you in my arms!”

Maddie stared at me in shock.

“Love isn’t just about words in freakin’ song lyrics. It’s about actions, too.”

“You aren’t any different!” she cried, before turning on her heels and starting to stalk away.

I stared at her retreating form for a minute. “Excuse me?” I called.

She whirled around and shook her head at me. “You say if it was you that you would have told me all those things, but you wouldn’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because you haven’t!”

My heart jolted in my chest.

Maddie stepped toe to toe with me. She jerked her chin up. “So tell me. Stand before me right now and tell me all those things you would if I was yours.”

Suddenly, I felt like an old black and white movie I’d seen. This dude morphed into a totally different person. When I spoke the next time, it was like a stranger was speaking. It weirded me out. “Why? So you can go back to your memories of Jake? So you can accept me because I’m alive when all along you’ll wish I was him!”

“No, I would never do that,” Maddie protested.

“Don’t be so sure.”

Maddie thrust the notebook at me. “So are you calling Jake a liar? It’s all right here. He said you were the one for me—the one who would adore me.”

I stared at the notebook, refusing to answer.

“Yeah, maybe Jake was a jerk for treating me the way he did, but at least he realized what he’d done wrong and was trying to make it right. And in case you missed it, this was good-bye. If Jake had lived, there would have been never been an us—no matter how he truly felt about me.”