Death Wish (Alexa O'Brien, Huntress #5)(73)

If Arys was my darkness then surely Shaz was my light. He’d kept me grounded, sane, until now. I needed him. If that was selfish then so be it. Long before I had met Arys, I had formed a special connection with Shaz. He meant so much to me. How would we get over this?

Shaz had said we would be ok. After everything went down with Kale and then finding Shaz playing with the vampires at The Wicked Kiss, he had promised me we would get through this. Yet, I felt so betrayed.

I’d made my share of mistakes. I was no one to tell Shaz what he could or could not do. But, I had promised it was over with Kale, and as screwed up as that whole situation was, I had stuck to my word.

I couldn’t help but think the twin flame revelation had something to do with this. Shaz had been remorseful up until he found out what Arys and I really were to one another. It had driven him into the arms of another woman. He had been mine, but a matter of brutal seconds had changed everything.

Lifting my voice to the wind, I howled. Mournful and eerie, the sound of my pain echoed through the treetops. Again and again, I cried out my misery to the forest.

Miles away in the distance, Shaz echoed my heartbroken cry.

Chapter Nineteen

I watched Shya pour six sugar packets into his tea. Gross. He totally just ruined it. He was oblivious, sipping from it like it was perfection.

His crimson eyes settled on me. “I apologize for the other night. Skipping out on you wasn’t my intention.”

I glanced around the near empty Tim Horton’s coffee shop. Nobody sat within earshot of our conversation. “Did you mean to leave Kale and me for the FPA to drag off?”

“I had no way of knowing what would happen. Kale should have done a better job of covering your tracks after the Irving kill. He isn’t usually so careless.” Shya gave me an appraising glance, one that indicated he blamed me for Kale’s blunder.

“So that’s it? The FPA has him, and you won’t do anything about it?” I had expected this from the demon, but the shrug and smirk accompanying his response surprised me.

“I’m not a babysitter, Alexa. I can’t bail my people out of every screw up they get themselves into.” He tapped another sugar packet against the table before opening it and adding it to his tea. “Besides, Kale hasn’t been the sharpest tool in the shed lately. Falling in love has made a fool of him. Perhaps some time with the FPA will do him some good. Frankly, I’m just happy they didn’t get their hands on you.”

I stared into my coffee cup as I censored myself from spitting out a nasty retort. I understood why Kale meant so little to someone like Shya or Arys. So, why the hell couldn’t they understand why he meant so much to me?

“What will they do to him?” I was afraid of the answer, but my imagination wasn’t helping.

Stirring more sugar into the tea, Shya clinked his spoon against the cup repetitively. I had to fight back the urge to rip the utensil out of his hand. He studied me intently, noting everything from my expression to the way I fidgeted with a napkin, folding and refolding it.

“They’ll start by torturing as much information as they can out of him about anything and anyone. I’d imagine they would start with you and your vampire, as well as me and what I’ve been up to since the FPA saw me last. Then they’ll either kill him or recruit him if he doesn’t manage to escape them. It’s unlikely though not impossible.”

“Fuck,” I muttered, crushing the napkin in my fist. “I can’t just leave him there.”

“I’d call it even and walk away if I were you. You both took a fall for the other. Sentimental, sure. Romantic, perhaps. Ultimately, pointless. It’s done no good for either of you.” With a shrug and a shake of his dark head, Shya frowned. “Your attention should be on Lilah right now. She’s not the type to give up. And, I can assure you, her attention is very much on you.”

I drank down some of the hot coffee, needing the caffeine fix but finding it hard to enjoy. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means she’s more desperate than ever to break the curse. She’s lying low, staying out of touch. But, she’s not staying idle. I can promise you that. We must bind her, Alexa.”

“How?”

“I can do the binding, but I’ll need you to strip her power first. Your power over vampires makes you the one person with the best chance of success.”

That was suspicious. “Why can’t you do it?”

“She’s my queen.” Shya stiffened, appearing uncomfortable. “A binding is disrespectful but it won’t harm her. I can’t do that. You weaken her enough, and I can effectively bind her. It will render her powerless, but it will only be temporary. It should buy us some time.”

“Time for what?”

“To figure out what she needs to break the curse and make sure she never pulls it off.”

I pushed a hand through my long hair and stared out the window at the traffic. I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t want anything to do with Lilah or her curse. Now I had no choice because of the trouble she was bringing my way. Besides, I couldn’t turn my back and let her break the curse if I had the ability to stop her. Willow said my name meant ‘protector of mankind’. If Lilah returned to her dark goddess throne, all of mankind would suffer for it. It couldn’t happen, not if I could stop her.