Death Wish (Alexa O'Brien, Huntress #5)(56)

“I love you, Lex.”

I touched the side of his face and nuzzled him back. “I love you, too.”

Before he could delay me further, I pushed by him and disappeared outside. I knew there was more he wanted to say. This wasn’t the time or the place to bring up personal issues.

Kylarai was seated at the table in the far corner of the patio. I slid into an adjacent chair and tried to smile pleasantly when Coby set a tray of cooked burgers before us. He avoided my gaze, glancing at Ky instead. Shaz joined us a few minutes later, and successfully, we all faked our way through dinner.

“So Coby, what kind of work did you do? Is it something you’d like to continue?” With a little shrug and an embarrassed smile, Ky added, “I mean, when you get back on your feet.”

“I sold insurance, and I hated every moment of it. Being the suit and tie sales pitch guy never did fit me so well.” Coby was so soft spoken that his low voice was almost a murmur. “I kind of always wanted to be a tree hugger. An environmental activist or something, you know? I doubt it pays well, but it would be rewarding.”

Kylarai gripped her burger tight, causing it to drip sauce onto her plate. She stared off wistfully toward the forest. “I used to fantasize about working for Greenpeace. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen. I ended up in law instead. Not even juicy criminal law. Just boring old divorce court nonsense.”

Coby studied her, his hazel eyes taking in her delicate mannerisms as she tucked a strand of dark hair behind her ear. “You must get a bird’s eye view of how ugly things can get. It must at least give you a new appreciation for love. I mean real love, the kind that would never end up being a fight over a house or kids.”

“Well… I can’t say I know a lot about that. Not firsthand anyway.” A shadow passed behind Ky’s eyes, but it was gone as quickly as it came.

“Me neither.”

A moment of strange quiet settled over us. I watched two sparrows flittering in a tree in the yard. They made me long to be one with them, an animal of the earth, a part of nature. I longed to be wolf.

Shaz picked up the conversation by telling Coby a little about our past in this town. He carefully edited out some details about Raoul and Zoey. The way Shaz told it, we lived a sitcom life with laughter and joyous times. I paused, my burger momentarily forgotten as I stared at him in wonder. Was his story for Coby’s benefit, or did Shaz really remember it that way?

Maybe I saw things all wrong. Perhaps it wasn’t as bad as I remembered. Yeah… right.

“Anybody else as eager as I am?” Shaz was drawn to the forest, his gaze locked on the beckoning expanse of trees in the distance.

“Yes.” I felt the wolf pacing inside. I was done with going through the human motions of supper and drinks. It was time.

Coby grew nervous. His anxious energy prickled along my skin. “I don’t know if I can do this.”

“You can.” Shaz gave him a friendly pat on the back. “The beauty of it is that you don’t have to fight it right now. It feels better when you can just let it happen. I promise.”

I understood what Coby was going through. The change made you vulnerable. I met Shaz’s gaze. “We’ll go on ahead. You guys can catch up.”

Leaving Coby in Shaz’s capable hands seemed like the best plan. He was already a nervous mess. Having Kylarai and I present wouldn’t help. In the beginning, when I’d first changed, I’d been alone. It took a long time to get comfortable with other wolves.

Hoping to avoid adding to Coby’s distress, I descended the deck stairs and disrobed beneath the raised patio, out of sight. Kylarai joined me, stretching her lithe frame before dropping to the ground. She was wolf before her paws touched the grass. The change came much easier over time. Embracing it, I savored the way it felt as the wolf burst forth. It took only seconds for my body to re-knit itself into wolf form. A brief explosion of pain quickly faded away to bliss.

I trotted along behind Kylarai as she slipped through the open back gate and into the field. The sun had dropped low enough to give us the cover of near dark. We made our way toward the trees, pausing here and there to sniff at the scent of another animal or check out the gopher holes littering the field.

My thoughts were simple when I was wolf. I could easily allow the human side of me to fall away, and I was happy just to be.

We had just blended in amid the trees when I cast a glance back toward the house. It was tiny in the distance, just one of many that backed onto the field. My keen eyes easily spotted Shaz’s white fur. An ash brown wolf flanked him. Coby would be just fine. I was sure of it.

I launched into a light run. Raising my nose to the wind, I breathed deeply of the scents of the forest. Fertile earth, fresh pine and an assortment of other smells filled my nostrils. I was home.

We lingered near the clearing in the middle of the woods, waiting for Shaz and Coby to catch up. It didn’t take them long. Coby’s eyes were wide and alert, but otherwise he seemed comfortable in his wolf skin. He paused to sniff everything as he went. The new scents and keen senses could be overwhelming at first, but they were intriguing.

The scent of coyote was fresh. They’d passed through not long ago. They had a tendency to avoid us, so we didn’t come across them often. For the most part the local coyotes lingered on the other side of town, creeping only close enough to be heard at night when they raised their voices in yips and howls.