Death Wish (Alexa O'Brien, Huntress #5)(51)
How the hell was I supposed to feel guilty about that? My intent had been to save him. Maybe he didn’t want to be saved, but he had no right to punish me for refusing to pull the trigger.
“I did what I did for you. And, the dreamwalker. It wasn’t supposed to blow up in my face.” With a deadly calm, Kale took my hand in his. He studied the dragon before running a finger gently over it. “I understand why you made the choice you did, Alexa.”
A fiery tingle raced up my arm, and my breath caught. He had done all he could to avoid touching me in recent weeks. Now he caressed me boldly, stirring a part of me to life that I’d tried so hard to vanquish.
I knew how passionate Kale’s touch could be. The way it felt to have his hands upon me, holding me tight while he buried himself inside me again and again. I felt the memory shining in my eyes and hoped he wouldn’t see it.
“I think I understand,” he continued. “I know your intentions were good, but I can’t help but feel… betrayed. That run-in with Shya got pretty bad, and it worries me. What if it’s worse next time?”
“It won’t be; Shya got what he was after. Look Kale, I know nobody holds a grudge quite like a vampire.” A growl laced my words. “But, I will not feel bad about this. I won’t!”
Desperation tainted his heady energy. I gave up trying to shield against him. It felt so much better to let him in.
Kale’s gaze dropped as if he couldn’t look into my eyes when he said, “I wish we could take everything back and have it be the way it was before.”
I stared at him with shock and dismay. His words hurt. “What gives, Kale? You’ve been a very willing participant so far. Don’t you dare accuse me of seducing you. I’m not taking the blame for anything else tonight.”
He released my hand suddenly, as if touching me was painful. “If only it had been as simple as that. This isn’t lust. It never was.”
No, it never had been. My anger deflated, and I no longer wanted the illusion of escape the bottle allowed me. I shoved it away with a sigh.
I didn’t know how to react in this situation. I couldn’t wrap my mind around the possibility that my choice to save him from Shya may have been the wrong one.
“So what do you want from me, Kale? I can’t take it back. I don’t even want to. And, I sure as hell won’t kill you myself.”
His eyes flashed with annoyance. “You can’t take this seriously, can you? Never mind. I should know better than to expect you to understand.”
He got up and turned to go. I grasped his wrist with more force than I intended. Our energy collided, creating a spark that lit up the area around us. Our eyes met, and the anger burning in Kale’s enchanting gaze slipped away.
“I can’t do this anymore,” I blurted, pulling my hand back. Something in those amazing eyes led my thoughts down a forbidden path. “I should go.”
“Let’s go somewhere quiet.” Kale took my arm and steered me along. “This isn’t the right place to talk privately.”
“In the back?” I dug my heels in. “Where you have your own private little playroom? No way. Bad idea.”
“Not in my room. Just in the hall.”
I let him pull me through the door that separated the club from the madhouse. We entered into a dimly lit sitting area furnished with a few bistro tables and two black leather couches.
A hallway branched off either side. One way led to the back of the building, to the bedroom where Shaz and I had killed Arys’s sire, Harley. That had been a hell of a night. The opposite end of the hall led to the parking lot exit. That door was rarely used by anyone except those frequenting the back rooms.
The lounge area was empty; everyone was lost in his or her own private world behind the closed doors lining the hall. An array of differing energies swept through as if pushed by a sinister breeze. Fear, lust, hunger. That was just scratching the surface. Goosebumps broke out on my skin in response to the sense-stirring atmosphere.
Kale pulled out a chair for me at the closest table, but I shook my head. I couldn’t sit still. Instead, I stood behind the chair, gripping it until my knuckles turned white. Kale perched on the arm of a nearby couch. He’d put a good six feet or more between us, evidence that the swarm of pulsating energy was teasing his senses, too.
“Now,” he gestured for me to speak. “You have a lot on your mind. Let’s hear it.”
“I feel like I’m going crazy,” I began, my words coming in a rush. An invitation was all I needed to let it all spill out. “It’s like I’m breaking down, and I can’t save myself from what’s coming. Lilah put the hit out on me. My sister comes back from the dead. My relationships with men are all kinds of f**ked up, and I can’t help but think it’s because I f**ked my mother’s lover. Where does Freud stand on that one?”
“You can’t beat yourself up over that. It was a long time ago, and you didn’t know.” Kale said softly. “You’re the strongest person I know. Strong enough to make a deal with a demon to save someone you care about. Weak people don’t do that shit, Alexa. Weak people don’t have hits out on them.”
“I’ll bet a lot of crazy people do.” My lower lip trembled, and before I could censor myself, I was telling him everything: the twin flame revelation, Shaz’s bad reaction to it, my internal conflict over my sister and why she had never told me she was alive.
Trina M. Lee's Books
- Trina M. Lee
- Forget About Midnight (Alexa O'Brien, Huntress #9)
- Smashed (Alexa O'Brien, Huntress #8.5)
- September Moon (Alexa O'Brien, Huntress #8)
- Sunset to Sunrise (Alexa O'Brien, Huntress #7.5)
- Freak Show (Alexa O'Brien, Huntress #7)
- Whisper to a Scream (Alexa O'Brien, Huntress #6.5)
- Darker (Alexa O'Brien, Huntress #6)
- Blonde & Blue (Alexa O'Brien, Huntress #4)
- Only Vampires Cry Blood (Alexa O'Brien, Huntress #3)