Blonde & Blue (Alexa O'Brien, Huntress #4)(75)

Right when I knew I should have broken it off, Kale deepened the kiss. His hands were in my hair and tension thrummed through his body. He explored my mouth with a hunger I couldn’t help but respond to. When I was with Kale, everything else ceased to exist. The danger of what we shared lay in the illusion that the rest of the world fell away.

The urgency that gripped us was the same determined need that had driven us in the alley behind The Wicked Kiss. I felt the sudden need to rush, to join in that sacred but forbidden union.

“We can’t do this.” A sob escaped me, and I broke away from him, turning away so he wouldn’t see the tears that spilled down my cheeks. “I have to go.”

“Alexa, wait.” Kale grabbed my arm. “Are you alright? I don’t want to see you cry.”

“Well, you weren’t supposed to.” I faced him, quickly swiping at the blood-red tears.

His shoulders sagged as if he held the weight of the world. The sadness in his lovely eyes hurt me to see. He reached to capture one of my tears on a finger. “I can’t watch you leave here in tears. Please, don’t cry. Not because of me.”

“I’m crying because the only time I feel safe anymore is when I’m with you. And, I know that I can’t hide away here inside that feeling forever. Even though I wish I could.” I took a deep, shuddery breath. This was harder than I’d anticipated. “Thank you for being who you are. You have no idea what it means to me. Maybe we’ve already gone too far to go back, but I don’t want to lose our friendship.”

A frown creased Kale’s brow, and he shook his head. “I know it’s better for us to deny what we feel. I know you might never love me the way I wish you would. But, don’t ever worry about us. I’ll always be here for you.”

What could I possibly say to that? I had to get out of there before I turned into a blubbering idiot. The powerful emotion in the room hugged tight to me like a second skin.

I clasped his hand in both of mine for a brief but heart-breaking moment. “I need to go. I’ll see you soon?”

“Certainly.” Kale’s gaze was on our hands as I pulled away. When I reached the door, he said, “Hey, Alexa. It’s ok that we are what we are instead of what we should be. Believe that.”

* * * *

It was mid-afternoon already, and the sun was high in the sky. I couldn’t stop yawning as I drove through the quiet streets of Stony Plain. I desperately wanted a hot shower and some quality time with my bed, but my best friend needed me. So, I was on my way across town to Kylarai’s.

Shaz’ car was parked in the driveway, and I breathed a sigh of relief. I’d been afraid that Ky would have chased him off so she could be alone in her grief. I understood that she’d need that time to herself, but right now, she needed us.

I clutched my takeout coffee cup and made my way up the front walk. I paused to admire the flower garden near the door. Kylarai really had a way with things like that. I envied her. I could only keep plants that could handle a little neglect.

I knocked firmly on the door and entered, glad to escape the sun’s harsh rays. Shoving my sunglasses on top of my head, I blinked a few times while my eyes adjusted to the dimmer lighting. The sound of voices drifted from the kitchen where I found them sitting at the table across from one another, drinking coffee.

They both looked up at my arrival, and I suddenly felt uneasy. Shaz’ eyes narrowed as he caught Kale’s scent, and I wished I could tell him that it wasn’t what he was thinking. I hesitated, unable to decide where to sit. Kylarai glanced up at me with red-rimmed grey eyes, and my heart broke for her.

“I’m not going to insult you by asking how you’re feeling.” I slid into a chair at the end of the table, purposely not sitting right next to either of them. It was so obvious. “I’m sorry, Ky. I never wanted this to happen.”

She shrugged and squeezed a crumpled tissue in one hand. “It happens. We knew it was dangerous. I just wish I’d had a chance to say something to him before it was too late.”

I knew that feeling very well. I reached across the table to give her hand a friendly squeeze. “I understand.”

“So you saw Kale?” She kept her expression neutral, but I could see the suspicion in her eyes. “You kind of smell like him.”

“Yeah, I saw him. I stopped by to tell him what happened. To let him know we were ok.” I looked from her to Shaz, peering intently into his jade eyes. “That’s all.”

Shaz cleared his throat and leaned back in his chair, but he didn’t remark on Kale. His silence bothered me more than if he’d been openly angry.

“Is there anything we can do for you?” I asked, changing the subject. “We can make you something to eat, run some errands. Anything.”

With a shake of her dark head, she tapped a fingernail on the side of her mug and stared into the remains of her coffee. “No. Thank you. Honestly, I just want to be alone. I don’t mean to be rude or anything.”

“Of course you’re not.” Shaz stood up and began to clear the cream and sugar off the table. “I’d want to be alone, too, if I were you.” He met my eyes briefly then, and I felt some of the tension between us slip away.

“I have something to ask the two of you, if you don’t mind.” A nervous rush caused my heart to race. I hadn’t planned to bring this up now, but it seemed to be just as good a time as any.