Avoiding Commitment (Avoiding #1)(143)

"No, it was only you Lex. I meant everything I said to you. I just," he sighed heavily, "f*cked up. I f**ked up Lex. How many times do you want me to say it?"

"How can I even believe you?" she asked her brown eyes were cold when they looked upon his face. She couldn't express emotion properly right then. All she could imagine was him sleeping with someone else the night before. He had done it without any emotion or any forethought for how she would react or take the news. He had somehow in his conscious, even if he had been drunk, thought that she would be okay with this. Their relationship, or whatever you could call it, was completely off-base if that was how he was going to be.

"I haven't lied to you. For Christ's sake, I came to you and told you that I slept with Stella," he confessed.

"Stella?" she asked her eyes hardening. She stood back up. "You didn't tell me you f**ked your roommate."

"I…uh…are you sure?" he asked his face shifting away from his confident air.

"No, you didn't," she replied biting her lip to keep from lashing out at him all the expletives she wanted to send his way. After taking a deep breath she spoke again. "How many times have you been together?"

"What? Last night was the first time."

"Right." It was her turn to be disbelieving.

"What are you trying to say?" he asked regaining his earlier composure.

"I just find it hard to believe that you've only slept with that girl once," she cried. "You worked together. She lets you move in with her. I mean I'm not stupid. This can't be the first time.

Jack walked across the room bridging the distance between them. "I have never slept with her before," he said emphasizing each word perfectly. "She was a mistake. It wasn't supposed to happen. She just happened to be there."

Lexi looked up into his beautiful blue eyes unable to believe some of things that were coming out of his mouth. Did he think that he was somehow improving his case? Her breath hitched as he took one last step entering her personal space. She could feel the heat radiating off of his body. His hair fell into his eyes as he tilted his head to look into her face. She wanted to scream, yell, and run in the opposite direction, but her feet seemed to be shuffling the wrong way. His hand came up and cupped her chin tilting her head further so he could bend down and press his lips gently to hers.

Wrenching free from his touch, she stumbled across the room. She couldn't believe how easily he overpowered her senses. Her heart was racing, but surprisingly not from the feel of his lips. She had never felt such anger over a kiss from Jack. He knew what he was doing and how she completely lacked composure around her. He was trying to win this argument by making her forget. He so easily made her forget that it was a brilliant plan. Except this time Lexi wasn't going to let him win. She needed to talk to him and she needed answers.

"Who is going to happen to be there next time?" she spat at him her eyes narrowing. "Stella happened to be there when you needed someone, but you could have just as easily called me and I would have come to you. I would have been there, but you didn't want me there. You wanted to f**k something meaningless because you are too f**king afraid to let me in."

"Lexi," he interjected hoping to reason with her. He took another step forward nearly cornering her.

"Goddamnit Jack! Don't you take one more step towards me," she yelled her arms extending to push him away from her if necessary. "I need to have this conversation with you not get lost in your stupid blue eyes."

He smirked despite her seriousness. "Stupid blue eyes? I thought you liked them."

Lexi glared. "Cut it out."

"Fine. Sorry," he mumbled.

They both stared at the floor not sure what the next course of action should be. Lexi felt numb from all she had just heard. Her body, which had already been aching from her run, hurt all over. She just wanted to cry, but at the same time, she felt as if she had no more tears left. Maybe if he had just broken up with her, she could have cried. But not over this. She just hurt from this.

"So where do we go from here?" she asked him afraid of the answer.

"I was going to ask you the same thing."

Lexi raised her head and stared at the man she had loved for close to four years. Could she give up everything over a one night stand? Was she really a hypocrite for being angry at him for sleeping with someone else? It's not like they had set any boundaries, any rules. She had just assumed that was a given. But then again, she had been on the other end of this scenario with his last two girlfriends. It only made sense for him not to know what the rules were especially if he still had it in his mind that they weren't officially together.

But that did not excuse how he was treating her.

"I think you should leave," she finally said.

"I told you it was up to you whether or not we kept this going," he mumbled crossing the room to the doorway.

"I didn't say that I'd made a decision," she said stopping him with his hand on the knob.

He turned around and looked at her wistfully. "You mean..."

"I mean you should get the f**k out because I don't want to see you for the next month or so I'm so angry at you." He hung his head. "But I doubt I'd ever make it a month after what we've been through." His blue eyes looked up at her hope apparent throughout the irises. "But I can't look at you right now. I feel sick to my stomach at the sight of you. You don't care about me Jack. Or at least not enough to ignore a girl when she spreads her legs for you. I don't know if that is enough for me. So just don't come back until you have something better to tell me."