A Wild Ride (Jessica Brodie Diaries #3)(69)

William and I were watching Adam instead of the proceedings. He looked harassed. His eyes were wide and his mouth hanging open. He could not believe that women were taking shots out of other women’s crotches! I could just imagine him thinking that this would be a great time if his girlfriend wasn’t present.

After the next round of drinks, Adam got up to hit the restroom. While he was gone I turned to William. “How did you figure it out?”

He laughed. “Little clues here and there. They don’t move quite right for women when they speak to you. Well, to me, actually. They don’t dance quite right for women. Women tend to be more hip and breast and sleek, these...women weren’t using those attributes so much. Something was a little off, is all. Not much off—I couldn’t put my finger on it at first.”

Adam was coming back now, drawing the attention of women left and right, shuffling toward us quickly and uncomfortably.

“Until I saw the bulge,” William finished.

Lump started to say something with a smile when I kicked her into silence. Adam slid into the booth.

“Good Lord there are a lot of women here,” Adam said, flustered. “Why would all these women come to watch women dance around? Don’t make sense.”

“And if I didn’t get it before, that fact would have certainly done it,” William said, scanning the crowd.

“What’r you on about, man?” Adam asked with a short temper.

William laughed and sat back with his drink. “Not a thing. Finish up.”

“Hey babe?” Lump asked with nonchalance.

“Yeah,” Adam replied automatically, watching the dancer currently onstage with awe.

“I don’t know if you heard, or figured it out, but, ah...that gal is a dude.”

“Used to be a dude,” I interjected.

“Oh yeah, used to be a dude,” Lump amended.

Adam’s brow furrowed. He wasn’t nearly as open-minded as William. “What?”

“That dancer you are watching with such single-minded determination...she was a he. Born a man. Had her bits removed.”

I added commentary: “Probably because those bits were responsible for a persona of useless macho-man. Also, are just ugly and get in the way. She obviously realized it was better to be a part of the superior sex. ”

“Well, ugly, get in the way, and push men to make bad decisions on their behalf,” Lump continued.

“Oh yeah, definitely. Still, having one gets you a lot of benefits in life. Men run the world. Young men get groomed to run the world. I’m not sure I would do away with mine—if I had one, I mean. It gets you into a lot of clubs.”

“Good poi--”

“Wait,” Adam said, cutting off our conversation with a hand in the air, “are y’all tellin’ me that them gals is really guys?”

William nodded with a smile.

Adam looked at William, blinking. “Did you know ‘bout this, Willie?”

“When I first got in here? No. After I saw the bulge in that gals pants? Yeah, I caught on.”

“And you didn’t say nothin’?”

Before William could answer, our server was back with the check.

“Did you girls and boys need anything else?” she asked with a twinkle in her eye.

“No, ah, ma’am,” Adam said carefully, looking at her closely.

The server smiled and winked at Adam before telling us to let her know if we changed our minds.

“Y’all got something wrong with your heads!” Adam exclaimed quietly, grabbing for the bill.

“Why? Because you are wondering if you are homosexual? Or because you were too slow to figure it out for yourself?” Lump had an evil glint in her eye.

“I was only starin’ cause they was takin’ their clothes off!” Adam snapped. “How could I not? How can any self-respectin’ gal get up on a bar and strip like ‘at?”

“Any girl that does it is just trying to market what she’s got. There would be no need for her to do it if there weren’t men lining up to pay for it. And stare at her,” Lump said back with a nasty attitude.

I didn’t like where this was going.

“Look,” I cut in, “there were half-naked girls and Adam was too fascinated to look away. If you both want, when we get to L.A. I can take you to a place where Lump will stare. Even the playing field, so to speak.”

Lump was trying to sound saint-like now, but when the Thunder Down Under show came through with delicious bodied men showing off their stuff on stage, there wasn’t a woman in the place that wasn’t glued to the show.

As I thought, that shut Lump up and made Adam stare at her. I could tell he was wondering what type of show I was talking about.

“Oh, and Adam, do you want to stop by Castro on the way home... just in case?” I finished.

Adam’s face went beet-red. William clapped him on the back, laughing.

The tension was calmed down and Adam paid the bill, not so kindly telling William to keep his money to himself since he was good-for-nothing.

Chapter Thirteen

We left San Francisco for L.A. two days later after exploring San Francisco as much as we could. Lump and I were excited to visit our old stomping ground, Adam and William indifferent to the change in location. One thing I dreaded—introducing William to my mom.