A Wild Ride (Jessica Brodie Diaries #3)(37)

“Did you kick his ass?”

“Jess—no! It is my school! I’m not trying to bust the heads of students in my school! I’d get bad Yelp reviews!”

When had she turned into such a businesswoman?

“Anyway, as I was politely telling him to F-off, Adam walked in. He was territorial, number one, and seriously aggressive, number two. When he saw I was trying to control the situation, he gave me to the count of ten, then ripped the guy away from me by the scruff of his collar.”

“No way!”

“Don’t sound so excited. It wasn’t good news.”

“What did the guy do?”

“He was the kind of guy I would have gone for when I first moved here—what do you think he did?”

“He tried to fight Adam?” I got a nod as Lump put a suit on a hanger. “What did Adam do?”

“Kicked his ass.”

“Shut your face! Details!”

“For a gal that doesn’t like fighting, you sure like to know about them.”

“I am constructing an inner romance novel, and you are the heroine. Your man is fighting for your honor. Oh God, I have Goosebumps!”

“You are so dumb,” Lump said with an eye roll and a smile. “Well, the guy, about Adam’s height, thought he was invincible—“

“Young guy?”

“Early twenties, yeah. He was a purple belt, so not all that experienced.”

“But Adam has no belt.”

“Well, that’s what this guy figured out when Adam just waited to see what this character would do. He wasn’t in a stance—not even boxing like Willie might do—he just sat there and waited to see what came next. I thought I needed to bail Adam out.”

“You did? Adam?”

She shrugged. “I never actually saw him throw a swing.”

“What about at Froggy’s?”

“Way too drunk.”

I nodded. Good point.

“Anyway, this guy threw a punch at Adam—not even a good one; I actually talked to his instructor about it. The guy is a class clown.” She looked at me like that was the worst thing in the world. I nodded in sympathy, though I didn’t really care.

“Adam just shrugged it off," she continued, "He barely moved, but dodged the punch completely. Then—get this!—he looked up at me to see if it was okay to punch him back. He had that much time! Well, rules of engagement say that if someone throws a punch, you are allowed to defend yourself.” She paused, reflexive, “I should have said no.”

“But you said yes!” I asked excitedly.

“Yeah, I did!” She giggled. “Then Adam clocked him. The guy barely moved to get out of the way. Adam is fierce fast! Knocked the guy clean out!”

“William said Adam knocked him out once. Then punched him at Christmas, remember? Didn’t knock him out then, though.”

Lump looked over at me, moving on to the dresses. “I heard about that. The first one. Adam still feels badly for it. But then, Willie has knocked him flat twice, so they’re even.”

“What?”

“He didn’t tell you?”

“Wait. There was the time with Dezeray.”

“Oh yeah. She sounds like some bitch.”

“Oh yeah, serious bitch!”

“That didn’t count, though. One time they were pissed at each other over a chick—both of them screwed her or something. I think Adam called her but Willie grabbed her. She double dipped that night or something.”

“Ew! She did two guys in one night?”

Lump laughed. “Yeah, that’s what it sounded like. Anyway, Adam was pissed—he was the second so it was gross—“

“I don’t want to know about this stuff.”

“Willie knows stuff about you that you didn’t tell him.”

I stopped what I was doing and stared at her.

“Nothing too terrible, but I did tell about that nasty, short kid that you ended up with. The one whose sheets smelt like ass?”

“You didn’t! Lump…I hate remembering that. What must William think of me?”

“He’s probably had worse. Actually, there was a fake-boobed one that looked like Ozzy Osborne with bleached out hair?”

“Yeah, she was gross.”

“Well, apparently William is still disgusted with that. Anyway, Willie got so worked up about being accused, and also because Adam was pitching a fit, that they boxed. Willie knocked Adam out flat. Adam said his ears were ringing he was hit so hard. And from out of nowhere.”

“You should have seen what he did to Dusty.”

Lump put down what was in her hands. “Jess, I had no idea how bad that was. Adam told me in Adam detail what it was like seeing you, which I took with a grain of salt. But the part about you holding a gun to a man’s head, execution style—how are you? After everything. Honestly.”

“Fucked up on the best of days,” I answered flippantly.

“Jess…”

I sighed. “What do you want from me, Betsy? I am f**ked up. I have a regular appointment with Dr. George. I saw a man dead with his throat ripped out. I heard a gunshot while staring at its bang-hole. I was nearly raped, twice. I thought I would lose William on one of those. I’m f**ked up.”