Tragic Beauty (Beauty & The Darkness #1)(82)
The words rip me apart. So many tears. So many tears fall down my cheeks, thinking of the little boy with red hair and freckles who saved my life. I even think of that night with him, those things that Shayne made us do. Of the way his eyes looked so lost, so helpless…so much like mine. But he saved me from a worse fate then—saved me from those other two—then he saved me again, only this time by giving his life for me.
Gavin’s holding me now. Holding me while I cry. I cry so hard, and can’t stop.
It’s some time later that I’m finally quiet, but the tears still seep, staining my cheeks. So many dark memories flip through my mind, until I settle on one, when another man had been ready to give up his life for me. And it all comes back to me then. All the horrible things I said to Gavin. My body’s shaking when I grab the pen and scribble it down.
The things I said to you. The things—
His hand is on mine, stopping the words. I look at him, but he just shakes his head. “It’s okay. Really. Ava, wait, look at me. I know what you were doing. Red explained it to me. I get it.” He reaches out and strokes my cheek. “You were just trying to protect me. And if I’d been a little smarter, I would’ve seen what you were doing. And I wouldn’t have left you with him. I would’ve figured out a way, to keep you from him. And I’m so sorry, baby. I’m so—I’m so sorry I left you with him. If I could go back, I would do it so much differently.”
His eyes start to fill again, and he leans his forehead against my hand. We stay like that, the tears falling, until another question hits me. A question that screams so loud in my head, I wonder how it only just came to me. I look to Gavin, my eyes wide, my mouth open.
He knows instantly what I’m asking.
“He’s missing, Ava. They’re looking for him now. In fact…the detective will want to talk with you, probably later today, now that you’re awake.”
I hear Gavin’s voice, but the only word I can focus on is, ‘missing.’
No. No. No.
That means—that means…the horses…Ben…I begin shaking my head, but Gavin grabs me and holds my face. “Hey, hey. Everyone’s okay. Everyone’s safe.”
No. He doesn’t understand. He’ll get to them. He’ll get to them all. Not just what I care about, but Gavin too.
I become hysterical, thrashing about, when Gavin grabs me and takes me carefully in his arms and moves to the window, cradling me against his chest and holding me tight.
“Look outside, baby,” he says. “Look outside.”
The pleading in his voice has me pushing aside the terror and looking through the glass. It’s all a blur at first. But then…I see a meadow. A meadow with three…horses. Three…familiar…horses. Grazing.
“See, they’re safe, Ava. They’re all safe.”
I shake my head, not believing. But there they are. All three.
“And I tried to send Ben on a vacation,” he goes on, “but the stubborn bastard wouldn’t leave, so I at least got him to let me post guards all around his place. Had to bribe him with a new tractor, and even then I didn’t think he’d let me do it, until I told him it would make you feel better. Still wouldn’t stop cursing though, about how all he needed was his goddamn shotgun.”
Safe, just like he promised. All safe. I can’t believe it. He did it.
But then—I point to his chest, my finger shaking.
“I’m covered too, baby. Red warned me good. So my mom and her husband are on a long vacation, some place I don’t even know.” When he sees me not understand, he smiles again. “She’s good now. She’s in remission. So this is well needed. And as for me, the only other thing I care about is right here in my arms. He can have my career, my house, all of it. I don’t care about anything else.”
He presses his lips to my forehead and I start crying again.
“Shhh, baby,” he soothes. “It’s alright now. It’s all going to be alright now. And we’re safe here. We can stay as long as we need to. This place is set up like a fortress. And only a few trusted people know where we are. So it’s all okay, Ava. It’s all okay.”
After so much darkness, it’s overwhelming. When my cries settle, I curl my head up under his chin and stare out at the horses—at Sadie, and Jackpot, and Chester. They’re munching away, probably happier here because the meadow looks irrigated, and I’m sure the grass back home is all dried out now.
Home.
The word slams into my chest, but I push it from my mind. I have so much else to be grateful for. So much else. Too much in fact. Including the man that’s holding me in his arms, resting his cheek against my hair. He breathes slowly, his heartbeat strong against my body.
Then something distracts me. A pressure on my bladder. I slide my head back and look at him, then look past his shoulder to a door that reveals a bathroom beyond.
He nods, then gives me a kiss on the cheek and carries me there. I don’t look at the site in the mirror. I’m not ready yet. And I don’t know how I’m going to manage to even stand, but Gavin places me gently down on the toilet.
“I’ll give you a minute,” he says, then closes the door behind him.
The bathroom has the same old-world feel of the room. An old fashioned sink, with a gilded mirror above it. A big shower stall with natural rocks and an ornate glass door. I look at it all so I won’t think about the pain that will come once I start to go. And it does. But I grit my teeth and get through it. I guess the pain meds can only do so much.