Tragic Beauty (Beauty & The Darkness #1)(77)

The door opens and I manage to lift my lids and peer through my hair to see Shayne lingering in the doorway. I can barely see him through the haze of pain and the ocean of tears that flood my face, but I know he’s there, looking at me. Then he’s gone and the door closes and locks behind him.





CHAPTER THIRTY




Ava




I hang from the shackles, an awful ache growing inside me, spreading, until my entire body is on fire. The pain is so strong I want to scream, but I don’t. I can’t. I’m supposed to stay quiet. So quiet. But strangely, I don’t know why, the pain begins to fade until I barely hurt. I don’t even feel the blood that seeps between my legs and trickles down my back and down my front. But I know it’s there. I felt it earlier. Felt that eerie slide of my life flowing out of me. But now, it’s like my mind and all my little nerve endings have disconnected from my body. I wonder if maybe I’m in shock. But I’ve never been in shock before, so I’m not sure.

All I know is I want my corner. My dark little corner. I focus hard and see it in my mind. It’s so peaceful there, so quiet. I manage to limp to it and curl up tight. I’m there now, in my place, rocking back and forth. I search for the memories, the special memories, but I can’t seem to find them. Like I’ve buried them somewhere too deep, too remote. Instead, all I find is a haze. A dark haze that lures me further and further away. But that’s alright, I guess. I don’t mind the dark. It’s my home now. And besides, he’ll be back. And he’ll finish what he started. Because he promised. And he always keeps his promises. And then it all will end. Because he thinks I’ll survive this, but I won’t. Not when he gets to loving me with it, like he said. I’ll bleed out. Who knows, I may be bleeding out now. But Shayne doesn’t see that. Because he’s too far gone, too far lost. But maybe this will help him. Maybe this will set him free. Then everything I care about will be free. And I’m prepared to die, I think. At least then I’ll be free too. And now I have some time to myself. Some time to search for those memories, so I can savor them one last time. I know they’re in my mind somewhere, I just—

A click sounds. Wait—he’s back already? I thought I’d have more time. But maybe I’ve been drifting and just don’t know it. Time does that to me sometimes.

I hear quick footsteps and a strange sound, like someone’s choking. I must be hearing things though, because it sounds like a man, but not like Shayne. I think of looking to check, but I’m too weak to lift my head, or open my eyes. Besides, it must be in my head. That’s all it is. But then I hear another sound, like a sob. Wait, maybe that was me. No, because I’m supposed to stay quiet. Then I hear it again. It was someone else. Must be Shayne, but he sounds so strange.

“Ava—Ava, baby, it’s me, Gavin.”

A touch grazes me and I flinch. He really is back. And now the pain. So much pain.

I start to thrash, kicking wildly. I’m not supposed to fight, but I can’t help it. I can’t control my body. It wants to survive. It wants to survive so badly.

Strong hands grab me, force me still, and I hear a voice.

“Ava! Look at me. Please! It’s Gavin. Gavin!”

I don’t understand. The voice. It sounds familiar, I think. But—it can’t be. No. This is tricks. So cruel to play this trick. He’s trying to make me look at him, but I won’t. I squeeze my eyes shut and shake my head.

“Okay, okay. I’m just going to take your gag off, alright?”

The voice is so soft, so gentle. I don’t trust it though. It’s a trick. But the buckles loosen, and my mouth empties. Hard to close my jaw, but I do. Hard to swallow down the drool, but I do.

“Ava. Come on. Open your eyes, baby. Look at me. Please.”

Something has me opening. Some bit of memory. Something buried deep inside my mind. I trust it and slowly lift my lids. They feel so heavy. I have to blink a few times. Focus. And then I see…

Gavin?

It can’t be. I must be dreaming. Or maybe I’m dead already? But it feels real. So real.

I stare at him, watching his green eyes drift down my body. “Oh God, oh God,” he wails.

He looks so sad. Don’t be sad.

He cradles my face, and I know he wants to say something, but by the look in his eyes, he can’t. Instead, he swallows and looks above me, to the side, and back to me. “I’m going to lower the chain, okay? So I can get you free.” His voice sounds funny.

I make my lids stay open, watching him through the hair that hangs in front of my face. He steps away and my bones begin to hum from the vibration of the chain as it slides through the ring. It should hurt, I think, but it doesn’t. My feet touch the ground, but I can’t stand. Too weak to stand. But Gavin’s close to me now, holding me while he undoes the shackles. My wrists come free and my arms come down. That should hurt too. It should hurt my shoulders so bad. But I don’t feel it. Just numb. So numb.

“I got you,” he says. “I got you.”

He sets me down, so carefully, then pulls off his shirt—a shirt I’ve seen before. His Metallica shirt. His hands shake when he puts my arms through it and pulls it over my head. It should hurt, grazing over all my wounds, but it doesn’t. That’s when I notice I’m trembling. I’m trembling so hard. But am I cold? No, I don’t think so. I’m not really anything.