Tragic Beauty (Beauty & The Darkness #1)(76)

“I want you to see this, Ava,” he says, taking off my blindfold. “And it’s okay. You can look at me now. Was hard for me before, but you just surprised me is all. Wasn’t expecting all that from you. But everything’s out in the open now, isn’t it? There are no more secrets left between us. And that’s how it should be.”

I blink, my vision fuzzy through the tears. Slowly, he comes into focus and I see his black eyes, filled with a hint of the insane. He smiles, almost innocently, like a little boy, and slides his hand behind my neck and guides my gaze down, until I see it. I try to turn away, but he holds me steady, making me look at it. I begin to cry.

“Shhh, baby,” he says, leaning his head against mine. “It’ll be okay. I promise. I know it looks scary, all covered in metal spikes like that, but I’ll be inside you, too. See? See how I’ve got it strapped on me there, just like a glove? So I’ll still be with you. And I know it’s big, but that’s because I’m big. But this will make you new inside. It’ll get rid of him, and Red too, so you can be mine again. All mine. And it’ll be like the first time—the first time we never got to have together, and I’ll finally get to make you bleed in that way I’ve been dreaming about for so damn long. And I’m going to love you so good with this, Ava. So good, it will bond us so tight. We’ll be like soldiers in a war, sharing something so dark, no one else could ever understand. And don’t worry, I’ll take care of you after, because I know you’ll need time to heal. But then things will be different for us. We’ll be able to start over, start fresh. But remember, if you want him to live, you got to stay quiet, okay? I need that little girl from back on the playground. That was the deal. I’ll leave the gag on, to help you. But not a sound. Just you, me, and the pain, baby. Alright?”

I nod, because it will set them free. That’s all that matters.

He kisses the river of tears bleeding down my cheeks, and slowly hooks his arms under my legs and lifts me up and spreads me open.

I try to center my breathing, but it’s not working. I try to prepare myself for the pain, but that’s not working either. But I’ll get through it. Without a sound. Because I have to. There’s no other option.

Things start shifting inside my head, gearing up for what it has to do. My body primes itself and the adrenaline gushes, spilling fever into my veins.

“And don’t worry, baby,” Shayne says, steering my eyes to his. “I’ll talk you through it, because I know how much you like that.”

I whimper when he lines himself up to my womb. When I feel the sharp cut of the first teeth, something deep inside my mind breaks.

“Look at me, baby,” he says, his voice soft and faint, echoing in my head like he’s faraway. “I want to look into your eyes when I enter you. That’s it. Not a sound from you, okay? But I’ll talk you through it. All the way. I’ll be with you. Just listen to my voice. Listen to me, Ava. Here we go. I’m going to push in now. I know, I know. But I got to push real hard at first, just to get it in there. And yeah, just let those tears flow, but stay quiet, okay? Alright. I’m pushing in. Pushing in.”

I have to be quiet. So quiet. Not a sound. Or else he dies. Green eyes dies. But he won’t die. He’ll be free. They’ll all be free. Forever. And maybe Shayne, too. Because I’m strong. So strong. But the pain. So much pain. Shhhh, stay quiet. Stay so quiet. But oh God, the pain!! THE PAIN!!!!

“Fuuuck, that’s my girl. Look at that, you got the tip in. And look at me, I’m crying now too, because I got you bleeding already. But we got a ways to go, don’t we? But I’ll go slow. I’ll take care of you. But stay quiet. Stay real quiet. You’re trying so hard though, I know. Okay, I’m going to push in more. Here we go. Here we go, baby.”

I feel the push, and his voice drifts further and further away. I hear him say things like how good I am, what a good girl I’m being, and how far it is inside me now. But the words just float inside my mind, like fading whispers, when another voice sounds. I think maybe I’m imaging things, but I know he hears it too. Because he stops, but the pain’s still there. So much pain I want to die. But I stay quiet. So quiet.

Then the voice again. “Shayne! Where the hell are you?!”

“Fuck. What?!!”

“Come on, we got a problem!” The voice is outside the door now, with a fist pounding. “Barn caught fire! And it’s blowing out there. I got the guys doing what they can, but we need help, or it’s going to spread. I’ve called the fire department, but it’ll take them time to get here.”

“Damn it. Damn it!! Alright!” he shouts. “Be right down!”

A slow, painful tug between my legs, followed by a creeping warmth that I know is blood.

“Sorry, baby,” he says, letting my legs down and cradling my face with red sticky hands. He smiles at me, a strange smile. A loving smile. “But we’ll finish this when I get back, I promise. Then we can start over. And don’t worry, you’ll be safe here. When I built this house, I wasn’t going to let a wildfire take you from me. So it’s protected good, all around. To keep my darling girl safe. Because I love you, Ava. I love you so much.” He strokes my cheeks, with teary eyes, looking oddly tender, oddly at peace.

He lets me go and steps back. My head falls because I can’t hold it up, and I hear the sound of buckles and the slide of clothing.